AIBU or his he???

[JuneBalloon]

It’s half term so kids are at home.

We are having a lot of work done on our house at the moment. This week we are in the process of changing all our internal doors. The carpenter arrived this morning with his 12 yr old son (who happens to be at the same school and in the same year as my DS). That in itself caused me to 🤔 but I have tried to let it go.... But now the carpenter is letting him do some of the work (albeit under his supervision). Not sure how I should feel about this - I mean, we agreed a quote based on the carpenter doing the work.

Furthermore, the son keeps a picking up and cuddling our pets, reading all the notices etc that we’ve got stuck to the fridge and drinking copious amounts of squash - which would be perfectly fine if he was a guest, but he isn’t!

AIBU or is he???? Not that I will say anything given the school connection - unless he cocks something up...

If she was a woman who couldn't work due to childcare cock-ups would you be more generous minded? Hmmmm?

No. Other peoples childcare problems are not mine and it's unprofessional.
If anything happened as well it wouldn't be covered by his insurance.

Yeah, I wouldn't be happy, its adding to what is a pita at half term anyway.

If it's just today, I'd let it go, does he need to come back though?

I wouldn't be happy.

If he had asked in advance to have his son there and explained he would sit quietly in one room watching tv or whatever then maybe but it's the expectation that I don't like.

My cleaner occasionally brings her son to ours when childcare is an issue and I don't mind because it's been pre-agreed and he sits and reads a book or watches tv, he doesn't go wandering around or messing with my pets. If he did i would worry in case he was scratched by a cat who he startled or something.

KimmySchmidt1 it isn't a matter of generosity, it's a matter of not being asked and putting a child at risk.

Is it the squash you are worried about? Or that the job won't get properly done?

If he had brought an apprentice instead, would that have been ok?

I think it sounds sweet that he is bringing his son along and teaching him the trade.

putting a child at risk.

Really???

There must be some other children of tradespeople on here? Has no one here cried at that nizlopi song?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=DQDnFTtr2UQ

My dads a builder, I used to love going to work with him, he would let me help ( I remember tiling a rather posh bathroom with him once ), some of my best memories are from working with my dad, probably because he was always too busy to do anything else with me.

Yes really. Handing a child power tools in a clients home. Definitely at risk.

So he's drinking his own squash? And he's not hurting the pets, just cuddling them?

I too think it sounds sweet and think the child is probably pretty handy with the tools too. He sounds a nice kid tbf. I think a little kindness is warranted op . I realise how stressed you must be feeling though it is horrible having work done , have a nice cuppa tea and a choccy bisk I am sure you will feel better soon

Yes really. Handing a child power tools in a clients home. Definitely at risk.

A 12 year old! And it's a drill, they're virtually impossible to hurt yourself on. And also under supervision of his dad. I really struggle to see the risk.

Possibly a risk of the job not being done properly, but if that's the case the dad will have to put it right.

We've just had work done on the house, the builder brought his son a couple of time, I thought it was nice he was helping his dad and learning about bit about the trade. He was about the same age. He mainly passed his dad stuff, brought things to and from the van and helped tidy up. I really didn't begrudge him a few drinks of pop and a kick about in the garden with my ds.

Tell him not to come back, of course you do know the work will stop. Right? Because he has no one to look after the kid.

Who needs childminders and holiday clubs? Just pitch up at work with your kid and tell your employer the work will stop, right, if they can't stay because you've got no one else to look after your kid.

You sound really snobby and precious op.

Ask him to train up your 12 year DS too, and can he take him with him on the next job and pay him.

Seriously though would you have thought differently if his DS was at a different school and you didn't know he was the same age as your DS?

Probably a lot of boys and girls have learned different trades by being with their parents at work.

My DD is here with me at my workplace (learning to MN ). She helps me with my work occasionally (I don't use dangerous tools though!) and she talks to customers. I have had her at work with me since she was 2 weeks old. No one has complained, most people seem to think it is great. I get lots of stories of what they did with their children when they were younger.

Maybe suggest a figure to cover your CM that can come off the final bill?

So he is the same age as your boy and in the same school i get that they might not be best of mates but could you not just chuck em both on the xbox or outside with a football. Will save your boy being bored also.

I had an electrician come to mine to do small amount of work; he came on a Saturday to accommodate my wishes and brought his son. Son was helpful and did lots of running to get things from van etc. I didn't mind; but I am very easygoing about having kids around the house. It didn't affect the quality of work either.

YABU to get a brand new kitten at the same time as having lots of work done on your house misses point of thread

Jeez, I feel so judged.... I am not stingy or highly strung or whatever else I’ve been perceived to be. Just wanted a general opinion. It’s amazing how a comment can be taken out of context - it was never about the squash or the cuddling of pets as individual acts, but about the whole set up.

You couldn’t get a nicer father and son duo. We all had a lovely informal chat at the end of the day and I feel much better about the whole thing, (the topic wasn’t raised - we just all got to know each other better). Whilst I would still have preferred to have been asked first, I’ve made my peace with the situation and thank all of you who didn’t slate me but understood where I was coming from.

Don’t feel judged OP. Some people write without thinking. Very easy to say what you’d do behind your computer.

I thought this was the norm in trades? My son goes out with his Dad in the holidays, my daughter will too in a few years. My husband isn't a dick who'd try to sue you if my DS did something stupid though, so I can see where the worry would come. He always says DS will be there if it's okay.

Kids learn about work ethic plus a hard days graft for a day or two over half term does them the world of good.

Should see the state of the apprentices straight out of school with no experience, getting mummy to ring in for them, soft as shite and terrified of a bit of rain.