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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be creeped out???

76 replies

Orangewater33 · 18/10/2017 21:56

Long story short - met a guy at the park a few weeks ago with his son 4(same age as mine) and his daughter(22) he is 56 I am 34.
He asked us to go for a playdate with him and another mom, I agreed but she didn't turn up and we spent the day at his alone with the kids playing.
Had a second visit where we went to the library and then I called to his house last night(we live close) and he asked us to stay for dinner.
Things were fine and the boys were playing when he came out of the kitchen and I was holding his electric wine bottle opener.
He walked in and said 'it looks like a big dld'..
I was like - 'does it?' already feeling uncomfortable..
He kind of scoffed as though I was being prudish and then proceeded to start talking about orgasms, sex and how he respects women who enjoy sex even though most guys think they're w**res'..
I don't know why, maybe just a culmination of multiple things but I just feel really disappointed..
Why do men seem incapable of behaving in a respectful manner? Am I just being prudish? I hate that feeling when guys do this and they think it's totally fine but we're sitting there alone with them starting to panic a bit and wondering what to say to get out of the situation..
If we go along with the convo we're up for it...if we don't we're prudish and frigid..
Hope it's ok to post this because I could really do with some thoughts on it :/

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 18/10/2017 21:59

Why on earth would you take your child to a stranger's house?

wineandworkout · 18/10/2017 22:00

Yep, creepy. And the 'most guys think they're whores' comment shows that he doesn't respect women at all.

MrLovebucket · 18/10/2017 22:00

He's a creep but personally I wouldn't have "called to" the house of some bloke I only met a few weeks ago at the park.

Avoid him like the plague in future and reassure yourself that not all men are like this.

QueuetoaskaQ · 18/10/2017 22:00

What happened next? Did you stay and proceed to drink the dildo wine together and make arrangements to meet again?

Or did you leave after telling him he was making you uncomfortable?

ILoveDolly · 18/10/2017 22:04

Why did you stay to dinner? I just think he might be getting the wrong idea. If you'd met a woman randomly would you go to her house for the day straight away instead of meeting for coffee on neutral ground. If you arrange more playdates do it with other people at the park for goodness sake. It's all so weird

Nandoshoes · 18/10/2017 22:06

Is this real life. I'm so confused

I would have been equally creeped out as talk like that is just not ok. However I don't go to strangers houses with my child. So j don't really come across it ?

justdontevenfuckingstart · 18/10/2017 22:07

What sort of electric wine bottle opener was it? I might need this.

C0untDucku1a · 18/10/2017 22:08

Dont go back.

And in future dont go home with men youve met once in the park.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/10/2017 22:08

You took your child to a random man's house? Really?

justdontevenfuckingstart · 18/10/2017 22:09

Oh it's crap this never happened.

MrLovebucket · 18/10/2017 22:10

Did it look like this OP?

Fruitcocktail6 · 18/10/2017 22:11

Oh, that said dildo! I could not figure it out Blush

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 18/10/2017 22:11

You can swear on here.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 18/10/2017 22:13

Mr i've got one of those but it has a curve.

Mulberry72 · 18/10/2017 22:13

He sounds a delight!

Not a chance I’d have gone to some random guy I’d met in the parks house with my DS!

Avoid completely!

MyBrilliantDisguise · 18/10/2017 22:15

Bloody hell, OP, get your boundaries sorted! As soon as he said 'dildo' you should have grabbed your child and left. Who the hell does he think he is?

Original poster
Orangewater33 · 18/10/2017 22:17

I didn't feel like it was a 'random' mans house, the first time we met his daughter was there and we were all chatting for a few hours, everything seemed friendly and fine. We chatted by text her and I and him and I since then as we were single parents and he was offering to get together for our kids to play, which was fine I thought.
The first time we were to go as a group somewhere but the other mom didn't show up the second time we went to the library and the last time seemed totally fine, I called to collect some things we forgot and then he offered us to have dinner there...
I guess it felt ok because the children were there, are you guys who are asking why did I go to his house suggesting we should automatically view all men with suspicion and make sure we're never alone with them?
I'm not in the U.K and we live in a quite friendly/family orientated place, people will often connect through the school via their kids or meet and become friendly at the park...

OP posts:
QueuetoaskaQ · 18/10/2017 22:19

Did you stay at his home after the sex talk? Or did you take your son home?

Original poster
Orangewater33 · 18/10/2017 22:19

Ok thanks for the clarification, obviously I was being incredibly naive, he seemed decent and friendly - his kids were sweet and his daughter and I had been chatting about the possibility of her babysitting for me, so I was feeling things were fine and all on a friendly note..yes I did leave straight after but didn't say why.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangewater33 · 18/10/2017 22:20

We left straight away refused his offer for a lift home.

OP posts:
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 18/10/2017 22:20

I think he’s got the wrong idea. Were you opening a bottle of wine? And yes it’s very creepy! But please don’t go to random men’s houses with your child, I’m not ‘victim blaming’ but it’s really not a safe thing to do.

Slimthistime · 18/10/2017 22:22

I don't make friends with men any more. This kind of guy, you could have known him for years and he'd still have tried this the first chance he got. So you might have met in the park with DC, gone to cafes etc and still he'd have behaved like this.

MrsOverTheRoad · 18/10/2017 22:22

The presence of children doesn't remove risk OP. Quite the opposite.

He's an absolute dirty monster but you need never to "spend the day" at the home of a man you've met in the park again.

You met him once! Then took your child to his house....anything might have happened and I am NOT victim blaming here.

I wouldn't have gone to the home of a woman I'd just met in the park either!

You need to be less naive now you're a parent.

QueuetoaskaQ · 18/10/2017 22:22

Great. Good for you for getting out of there right after he showed his true colours.

Don't worry yourself about him maybe thinking you're a prude. He's a creep and wanted to make you uncomfortable.

Just steer clear of him in future and don't give him any more of your head space.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 18/10/2017 22:22

Did you stay and proceed to drink the dildo wine together is a question I wasn't expecting to read today... or ever...

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