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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Duvet wars

66 replies

WaxyBean · 10/10/2017 07:24

DH has just put the winter duvet (9 tog) on the bed because he has been cold at night. I on the other hand have woken up multiple times in the past 2 nights under the winter duvet dripping in sweat.

He refuses to move back to the summer duvet - either wearing more clothes or with another single duvet over him or to consider having separate duvets. He also doesn't like it when I open the windows more than a crack. Any other suggestions? His answer at the moment is for me to suck it up. I can't sleep on top of the duvet as it's not warm enough and sleeping with my legs/feet out isn't stopping me from overheating in my sleep.

Any suggestions oh wise ones?

I'll spare you the drama we have about the thermostat every winter, though fortunately not this winter yet. He insists on having the heating on at 22c all night - even though he kids and I can't tolerate it.

OP posts:
dudsville · 10/10/2017 07:27

This is more than a duvet war!

Sparklingbrook · 10/10/2017 07:28

Two single duvets might work?

user1474 · 10/10/2017 07:29

He should put on more clothes/blankets. I run much hotter than DP and feel the cold but it's much easier for me to put extra clothes on than him to cool down when he's too hot.

Suggest an electric blanket for the bed?

Having the heating on high is also bad for the environment. Would that bother him more than your discomfort?

StaySexyDontGetMurdered · 10/10/2017 07:31

Well he doesn't get a choice if you use a single lightweight duvet. He can have his massive duvet all to himself!

lydiarose · 10/10/2017 07:32

Why can’t he ‘suck it up’ if he expects you to?

Musicaltheatremum · 10/10/2017 07:33

In many European and Scandinavian countries everyone has a single duvet so this fight doesn't happen. Re the heating though he should move about more and put on extra layers. I found my son had put the gas fire in on a slightly dull day in our Scottish summer ......he had a t-shirt on!

wheresthel1ght · 10/10/2017 07:33

2 single duvets of different togs and sew them together?

speakout · 10/10/2017 07:34

OH and I have separate rooms.
Each with our own double bed.

Bliss.

Sgtmajormummy · 10/10/2017 07:34

Get a single 4-season duvet. One with two layers that snap together with press fasteners. Clip them together along one side. Hey presto! A kingsize duvet of two separate weights!

Or just put two single duvets on the double bed.
Or stick an arm/leg out if you get too hot.

Hidingtonothing · 10/10/2017 07:34

He refuses.....to consider separate duvets.

Who died and made him your boss?!!! You want a separate duvet then have a separate duvet, he doesn't get to dictate your sleeping temperature. Get yourself a single and leave him with the current one, shove it between you like a wall until he learns not to be so bloody selfish onto his side when you get in bed, problem solved Smile

Fekko · 10/10/2017 07:35

When we used to stay with my parents they had a king sized bed and for some reason one time the duvet wasn't there and there was 2 single ones. It was really nice to be in control of one whole duvet!

Jasminedes · 10/10/2017 07:37

Yes, just put a cover back on the summer duvet and use one each, or co-opt a single duvet from elsewhere if you have one. If he doesn't like that, maybe he would like the sofa or stop being so controlling and inconsiderate.

OddBoots · 10/10/2017 07:38

When you think about it he is saying that you must share his choice of duvet and no other option can be entertained, which is rather distasteful behaviour. What else about your life does he dictate? if it is just this then hopefully you can show him how unreasonable he is being, if it is more then you need to look at the bigger picture.

RainbowPastel · 10/10/2017 07:39

I couldn't stand the heating on all night. I barely put it on in the day. I would buy your own single duvet. He doesn't get to dictate what you do.

Sparklingbrook · 10/10/2017 07:40

Oh sorry, didn't read OP properly. Blush So no to separate duvets.

I think you need to make a stand, he needs to at least compromise.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/10/2017 07:43

Tough - get yourself a single duvet and fuck him and his 'rules', is he like this about other things too?

KC225 · 10/10/2017 07:48

We have double (king) bed and two duvets and it has changed my life. I like lots of duvet and high tog double -even in summer. DH likes some skimpy padded blanket type single duvet. Buying two duvet cover is a small price to pay. And my duvet covers the whole bed when we are not in it.

a friend who thought it was weird until she mentioned it to her DH who insisted they went the same way.

Therealslimshady1 · 10/10/2017 07:50

2 single duvets

Easy

Lots of people do that!

Therealslimshady1 · 10/10/2017 07:52

And his refusal to consider it (who made him the president of duvets,anyway?!)' Is irrelevant. In that case just buy yourself a single duvet.

If you are not allowed to do this, LTB....

Anatidae · 10/10/2017 07:53

2 duvets. He seems to like everything his own way doesn’t he?

Turn the thermostat down as well !

Inertia · 10/10/2017 07:57

He doesn't have to entertain the idea of two duvets - he'll only have one, and you'll only have one. Just put a cover on the summer duvet and put both on the bed,then use your own duvets when you sleep.

Glumglowworm · 10/10/2017 07:58

HIBU for refusing to compromise even slightly

Two duvets is the obvious solution. And impacts him far less than he is currently impacting you. If he can insist on his winter duvet, surely you can insist that you have a lighter one as well?

Penfold007 · 10/10/2017 07:58

Heating on all night at 22!!!!!! Your heating bills must be horrendous.

44PumpLane · 10/10/2017 08:00

Why does he get to unilaterally decide that you can just suck it up?!? Arsehole.

Put a cover on your summer duvet and use that. What's he going to do when you appear with your summer duvet? Take it off you and hide it? Just do it and see how he reacts and that will tell you whether you've got a serious issue on your hands or if he's just abbot unreasonable.

SpamBurrito · 10/10/2017 08:02

He refuses to move back to the summer duvet - either wearing more clothes or with another single duvet over him or to consider having separate duvets

Well he's a childishly unreasonable sod then isn't he?
I'd be out this morning buying separate single duvets and they'd be on the bed by this afternoon.