To not throw dd a birthday party this year?

[anythingbuttypical]

Dd is turning 10 next month. She has had parties every year since she was 5. Ranging from extravagant and ridiculously expensive parties with the whole class to parties at home with a few friends. And everything in between.
I always said she would have parties in infants but stop once she was in juniors. The parties just carried on and she expects them.
To be honest. I can't be bothered. We are so over the whole party thing now. We've done it to death.
She has an expensive trip with school coming up this year which needs to be paid for by mid-dec so money is also a factor.

Aibu to not bother with a party this year? What can we do instead?

cinema trip and meal with a few friends?

Take her to church to reflect on her good fortune and follow up with a documentary on child refugees

Poor child! My dds are 10 next month we've various celebrations planned.
Why does celebrating and having a party end age 9 ffs?
Could she not even gave a couple of friends for tea? Sounds very harsh. It doesn't need to cost a lot.

Ds did laser tag with 1 friend (and dd). Bowling, cinema, dinner out?

Cinema and meal with friends can quicquickly become expensive. Have pizza at home and a sleep over for 3/4 friends in the lounge. Let them watch movies, eat chocolate eye stay awake talking til they eventually fall asleep. My daughter loved it. It was cheap, easy to tidy up and she felt like she has more responsibiluty/trust even though I was upstairs the whole time.

Also 'we' be done it to death' can't be true. It's once per year maximum, that's not doing something to death. You e done a maximum of 9 parties her whole life. Be kind.

• sorry spelling errors, phone having a fit

There’s a lot between a huge class extravaganza costing £500 and doing nothing!

Take a friend to the cinema (cheap weekend morning showing only costs a couple of quid)
Sleep over with a couple of friends, dvd and popcorn

Anything really as long as it involves a birthday cake at some point!!

Can't you just do a sleepover and some pizza? At 10 it doesn't have to be a big party, but you should do something to celebrate.

gimme are you being serious or was you joking?

Well of course she expects them - she 's 10 for God's sake! Do you want us all to call your child an entitled so and so?

I'm going to presume you just needed to rant and that you don't actually begrudge celebrating your own child's birthday and that you just want some ideas for cheaper parties (see above). Your tone is very negative though. Hope your daughter enjoys her birthday.

I think 10 is a pretty big birthday for kids - double figures and all that.

Can you not do something small? Cinema/bowling with a couple of friends, and then McDonald's/Pizza Hut for tea, or a sleepover with her best friends, with popcorn and snacks?

I think doing nothing for her 10th birthday is a bit mean.

KungFuPanda I'm sure gimme was being quite serious. It's the same in my family. Once the kids are double digits then they're officially adults and ready to be put to work in the fields and learn about the horrible place the world is...

Because you don't fancy doing it anymore, I agree, just do nothing. Don't even buy presents, too much effort. Maybe she could volunteer for the day, then she could be completely out of the way.

A few friends at home, pizza, some sort of birthday cake, a good DVD, maybe a few silly games, maybe a sleepover. Fun without being expensive.

My dd turned 10 in August and we were away for it. We did a lot and spent a lot on the day of her birthday when we were on holidays so when we got back she was happy with a movie night at home with a few friends and cousins and we ordered in pizza for them and had a cake didn't cost much at all and they all had a ball

OP I absolutely agree. Where I live, it is the whole class and also, therefore, one a month at least. I am sick to death of it. Plus mothers and fathers come, it's ridiculous. A party for 14 triples and you have to cater for everyone.

If I do anything for my DD's 10th (and I agree it's a biggie) I might visit London or something.

I live in Spain. Thy don't know what a sleepover is. Far too protective to leave their daughters for a night. Wish it wasn't so. If I lived in the UK still, I'd do a sleepover if I were you.

I think once they reach juniors birthdays should be replaced with silent reflection

Birthday parties don't stop at infants! How mean. You 'can't be bothered' FFS.

I think 10 is a pretty big birthday for kids - double figures and all that.

^This

@Honey Fantastic idea. I have a DC birthday next month, so will prep a reflection room accordingly.

Of course she till wats them. And she still will as a teen too.

What needs to happen is to start changing the type of party she has. Atvtyat age, we've had a film/cinema followed by food and a sleepover. Friends back home by 10.00am the latest.
Both dcs always enjoyed that.

A b'day party doesn't have to be expensive. But it's a bit crap to not to do anything at all because YOU can't be bothered.

I never suggested I was going to do nothing. I was thinking we could do something as a family. Go bowling, out for tea, cinema, ice skating. Something like that but just the 5 of us.
I didn't expect anyone to say she is entitled I was mearly stating that she has come to expect them every year.
By done to death, I mean we've got to the point where we will have to repeat a party as we've done everything she wants. And also with 3 kids yes parties have been done to death innthis house.
I did ask for your advice on an alternative. And yes I am serious.

When my sons got to about about that age, I gave them a choice to either have a party or a meal out or weekend away as a family. They seemed to prefer this option. I wasn’t keen on birthday parties either OP, not that I let on to my DS’s, very hard work, many parents not even letting you know if their child was coming or not, lots of one up manship with entertainment, party bags etc. I don’t miss those days at all.

faketrees make sure it is painted a suitable bland colour. Don't want to stimulate those over 10s minds too much.

I went out with family for a birthday meal last night and I'm going out for a meal to celebrate with a couple of friends this week. I'm 50 today!

How can a 10 year old possibly be too old to want to celebrate her birthday with friends?

There's no need to spend a fortune. Just let her invite two or three friends round for a nice evening together and a sleepover. Get a cake and some nice food in.

You won't find other parents stopping bothering celebrating their children's birthdays so she's going to find it hard if you do and she may read more into it than you would like her to.