To not throw dd a birthday party this year?

[anythingbuttypical]

Dd is turning 10 next month. She has had parties every year since she was 5. Ranging from extravagant and ridiculously expensive parties with the whole class to parties at home with a few friends. And everything in between.
I always said she would have parties in infants but stop once she was in juniors. The parties just carried on and she expects them.
To be honest. I can't be bothered. We are so over the whole party thing now. We've done it to death.
She has an expensive trip with school coming up this year which needs to be paid for by mid-dec so money is also a factor.

Aibu to not bother with a party this year? What can we do instead?

I'd have a sleepover OP, if I lived where I could. Or simply celebrate with the family and lovely presents and cake smile.

Sorry, but in my neck of the woods (and probably others) those things classify as parties. Which is maybe why I, and others, thought she was being a bit harsh to expect her daughter not to celebrate.

We are having a reasonably big 9th b day with a view to not doing so much with friends for her 10th. She and I will go away somewhere instead.

I’m really not sure what’s with all the sarcastic comments? People jumping on the bandwagon as usual.

Nobody has a right to a party and the op has clearly said that money is an issue.

A sleepover with her mates and a nice film with pizza and popcorn is plenty!

It does not have to be expensive, bowling and a MaccD or BK or Pizza hut with a few friends.

By family it is only me, DD and DH peanut and she takes a cake to school!! Not exactly a party! I've done 4 parties in the last 5 years. I am thinking of a trip for me and DD for her 10th. They are hugely expensive (and judged round here!)

I bloody hate parties!! It's so stressful.

I don't think the OP meant no celebrations of any sort!!!!!

blacktea me too!

When her English friend comes in summer for a month (they have a holiday home here) I'll do a sleepover for sure. Spanish children just don't do this.

Also, no pizza hut etc/takeaway.

Do we know the OP is even in the UK?

They are hugely expensive (and judged round here!)

I've always defined party as anything with a cake! Mostly my DC's b-days are hot dogs on the bbq and a cheap pin the tale on the donkey. I guess I live in a less demanding area.

Just take a few of her friends to the cinema/Pizza Hut and then back for a sleepover?

Why are people so angry on here??

We stopped the big parties about 10 and changed it to a day out with a friend. We live near Legoland so did that a couple of times, or bowling/swimming/mini golf and lunch. Or a family dinner out.

It's unbelievable peanut. As I said upthread, all parents and siblings attend. It is supposed to be held at the hotel one of the parents owns, can cost 500 euros or more. 14 children is tripled.

It's bloody stupid. Who wants a bouncy castle at 10?

No, I'm looking into flights to Bologna from Valencia... around 16 euros each way and we can have fantastic icecream and pizza! Stay 2 nights maybe? Much less than a party and better, I think.

LEGOLAND sounds fab though!! It dependswhere you live and circumstance really. But I get the OP's opint. It really doesn't have to be a 'party'.

You make it sound like you've hosted 100s not 5. Invite a few close friends round, pizza, DVD, cake. It doesn't have to be stressful or high cost.

Weve done movies for juniors followed by subway and cakes. Along with music studio parties with party plates of cling filmed food.
This year has been expensive. Coupled with her bday coinciding with her expensive school residential meant i didnt want to do anything for her 11th.
But i found a bounce offer of £1 per kid plus McDonald and cakes
Job done they had a blast.

Gimmeareason
Take her to church to reflect on her good fortune and follow up with a documentary on child refugees

Wow I bet you're the life and soul at a party I think 9 is a little young to get into guilt tripping and virtue signalling but you carry on. Obviously I should say thank you to the pretend man in the sky for my parents.

TBH OP, 8 parties in so many years is hardly onerous is it? Your DD will never be 9 again, if she wants one I think you should give in. On the other hand if you make alternative suggestions she may change her mind.

@SilverySurfer
Whooooooosh

YANBU OP
Parties can be a hugely expensive and stressful and I think as long as something happens to mark the occasion children are usually happy.

My older DC is in secondary school and I am astonished that teenagers seem to carry on with the full Birthday party thing. Bearing in mind teens expectations of Birthday presents like iphones and branded clothes the whole thing can be quite expensive. Parents fork out a fortune to take large groups to Nando’s or things like trampoline parks etc. feeding a bunch of teens from the kids menu is not an option! And don’t get me started on the dramas of teen girls and who’s invited and who’s not it’s a nightmare.

I just tell my DC that there is a Birthday budget and if they want all this to go towards a full on party then I cannot afford the presents they have asked for. That’s not to say that we don’t have a meal or a sleepover just not the full on circus.

The thing is a sleepover, going out to the cinema or watching a film at home and then having a sleepover is considered as a 'having a party' by most people.

So if someone says to me 'I don't want to organise another party for my DC for their b'day' I understand that they want to do none of that TBH....