To not throw dd a birthday party this year?

[anythingbuttypical]

Dd is turning 10 next month. She has had parties every year since she was 5. Ranging from extravagant and ridiculously expensive parties with the whole class to parties at home with a few friends. And everything in between.
I always said she would have parties in infants but stop once she was in juniors. The parties just carried on and she expects them.
To be honest. I can't be bothered. We are so over the whole party thing now. We've done it to death.
She has an expensive trip with school coming up this year which needs to be paid for by mid-dec so money is also a factor.

Aibu to not bother with a party this year? What can we do instead?

I think at 10, she will want to do something with her friends. If you can afford to do something as a family, can't you afford to pay for her and a few friends to do something?

I don't think it matters if it's something that she's done before.

Let her bring a friend and go do something. Mine always choose trampoline park (controversial) because we can only afford it as a birthday treat.

I was mearly stating that she has come to expect them every year.

Yeah, funny how kids expect their birthday to happen every year...

I think the Op was just asking for opinions! I love children's birthday parties and when mine were young I spent a lot of money and/or time and effort on them because its my money and time and I enjoy doing it. However, this year, DD2 was 14 so tried booking her concert tickets instead. Obvs could only afford to take a couple of friends so then she wanted a party on top! You could ask your DD what she'd liked OP but prepare for her to change her mind!!

In the end this year DD's concert tickets were cancelled so we ended up with half a dozen friends having pizza.

Most parents in the 2 older dcs years haven't hosted parties every year. A few of us have but most stopped a long time ago or only have them occasionally. Thank you to the posters with sensible replies. Lots of ideas for me to plan something

Peanut. You know full well I meant a party. That comment was just pathetic.

YABU

She's only turning 10! Of course she wants to celebrate with her friends! You can do a sleepover for a few mates very cheaply, there's no need to spend £££ is that's an issue.

It's very mean to think children shouldn't get birthday parties! It isn't "done to death" for them! Part of being a parent is doing things that aren't really fun for you but that your child enjoys.

you've 'done parties to death' at aged 10? Sorry no alternative as i expect i will be doing parties alont more (mine at 3 and 1) I do feel its a little premature to not have a party with her friends though. However - its your dauhter, you do as you please. Be prepared for a fallout from her though - she is sure to be sad/dissapointed but it is to be expected. At 10 - i would have been annoyed with just celebrating with my family - i had my cousins/friends round ours (and no - it didnt cost much as mum cooked)

Yikes OP - i feel a little sad for your daughetr now.

Having a handful of friends over for film, cake, pizza and optional sleepover is cheap as anything but a huge deal to her. We always use the freshly made deli pizzas from Asda - much cheaper than takeaway.

We seem to have let our 10 year old have this AND a family day out... probably ruined her for life!

You won't look back on your deathbed and regret letting her have a few friends round (or go to a trampoline place, cinema etc probably, though that does mount up). You might regret saying she wasn't allowed a party. 10 will seem little to you soon.

I would suggest to relabel in your head all that as inviting friends for a sleepover. Watch a film and let them have some cakes that will happen to have a few candles in the top
Let them have fun like any other time that one of your DC will do when they have friends over for the night (you do sleep over sometimes or have friends around, right?)

Don't stop your dd to have some friends round for her b'day that would be mean.

My Dc, after the age of 10, have had the choice of a present or a party. If they have a party they get lots of little bits from friends and if they choose a present it has tended to be electronics.
My youngest DD (now 13) has always had a party, herewith some ideas:
Hot tub party: hired a hot tub for the weekend and guests came in waves with their own robes and flipflops: mocktails, jelly shots, hotdogs, pop CD playing.
Rock Chick makeover party: karaoke, inflatable guitars, they made themselves over and I helped with their hair.
Movie party: 5 child sleepover themed around film: clapperboards to write on with chalk, popcorn, drinks, hot dogs in the interval, ice cream. Gave them a choice of films: as they were 'trying to stay up all night' they picked disneys so no-one would be scared. We put a dvd/tv combo (portable) in DDs room but they were all asleep before midnight.

Spy missions and Chinese buffet.
Local cinema and Frankie and Benny's (this was a 12th and they went from one to the next independently: I just made the booking and paid the bill..very grown up!).
Whole year disco at local hall..would not recommend this. I was shattered!

I think she'd rather see friends than have a day out with family? I think yabu. 10 is still young and it's really not hard to have some friends over for pizza and a sleepover.
Just because you're fed up of birthdays, doesn't mean she is.
Don't be mean

I'm with Peanut - for kids, their actual birthday day is tied into the party. So what if she expects a party of some form? Is it that bad? You just seem really pissed off about the whole thing. Why did you not just write a post about scouting for cheap party ideas instead of being so negative? It sounds like these parties are a real chore for you! Maybe you should just send her to the bland- coloured reflection room after all!

A birthday celebration hasn't got to be a party at her age. She could have a friend or two for tea and a sleepover (I bought pillow cases with pens so they could decorate their own pillow case for the night) and they just entertained themselves at around the same age. Maybe a day out with a couple of friends or if she'd like a group of girls and you don't want to have too much hassle yourselves, maybe 3-5 very good friends for tea and time together, whether the local park, money to walk to shops for some chocolate and then a film or they can plan something creative to do.

Peanut. You know full well I meant a party. That comment was just pathetic.

Pathetic is begrudging the fact that a 10 year old would expect a birthday party! She's 10, not 20. It's normal that she would expect a party on her birthday.

Movie and a pizza? At that age my DC loved Pizza Hut with the ice cream machine, and it was dirt cheap ....

Huh? Since when did a child not having a full-blown party every year cause people to feel 'sad' for them?!

I think people are being deliberately obtuse. The OP clearly asked for ideas on what else she could do, I really don't think she was considering cancelling her 10yo's birthday

To me going to the cinema with a couple of friends isn't a party...it's going to the cinema! So would be an alternative to a party surely?

And what the jiff is wrong with going bowling/ for a meal out with family to celebrate a child's birthday?

I had two birthday parties (that I can remember, I’m sure I had one for my first but well, maybe not) growing up. It sucks when your parents can’t be arsed.

I'm not entering into an argument with you PEANUT but you're wrong. I have at no point said I was cancelling her birthday. I clearly asked for advice on an alternative to a party. I really don't understand the hostility from you and other posters who clearly haven't read my OP.

Thank you Apple

My DS is turning 6 and only had 2 parties with friends. The last one cost us £350 at least and this year we've decided not to through a party, maybe take a few of his friends out instead.

Since starting school he has only been invited to 2 parties and there is 23 of them in the class!

In primary school my dc never had a party every year - usually alternate years, with the in-between years being some other Birthday treat. Because it was a huge & expensive hassle to organise.

OP YANBU, ignore the goading.

OP - I'm the ultimate non-party person. DS had one birthday party aged one and then nothing for 4 years until he could share. 10th birthday wasn't a big thing.

I'd offer her a choice - sleep over with limited friends, pizza, video and lights out at a defined time (I remember the awful DS friends who had horror movies and cola which meant an exhausted and cross and upset child the next day) or a day doing something exciting with the family.

My DCs also liked activity - clearly not the time of year for camping outside and roasting potatoes in the ashes of a fire - but a mystery hunt round the garden/house/flat/local park with clues?

Good luck.

I'm certainly not doing a party every year. Celebrate with presents, bunting and cake, familly yes. Like the OP I am utterly sick of parties, which are forgotten in 5 mins. But a party is not feasible for everyone. My DD's friends don't ALL have parties every year.

The OP is NOT saying she is not going to celebrate her DD's birthday FFS.
I understood what she meant. I think some people are deliberately missing the point.

I'd have a sleepover OP, if I lived where I could. Or simply celebrate with the family and lovely presents and cake

It's what I had when I was younger.