Who is being unreasonable here me or my dad?

[Joannearob2345]

Just moved into new property and the budget is tight for carpets.
I need living room,bedroom and hall/stairs done for around £700.
My plan is to measure rooms and go to the carpet store and look for offcuts.
My dad said "no you go in and ask for the cheapest carpet they do"
I said no I want to check out the offcuts first and maybe use a cheap carpet for the stairs but nicer offcuts for living /bedroom.
Then my dad starts swearing "you think you know it all,you never listen " in a loud voice.
I want new counter tops and he says
"You don't need them,waste of time,"
Then once again shouting that I'm ignorant and never listen,know it all etc .
How is that the case? I'm listening but I have a different idea..
If I don't agree with him he calls me every name under the sun
Aibu by not going in and asking for cheapest carpet?

Is he used to being the decision maker?

Id just stop talking to him about it all.

You know your not being unreasonable.

I think I'm so used to my dad saying I am ..that I start to question myself.
His favourite thing to say is .."you don't realise your doing it"
So I start doubting myself

The only reason I was taking my dad is because he is good at measuring ..I'm useless

Why are you telling him what your plans are, is he paying for it?
If not just do it the way you want. He sounds like a bully who's used to getting his own way.

Is he used to dictating and controlling everything at home?

Respectfully take his advice on board, but in the end it's your choice/home/life.... is this why you're moving out?? Shame he doesnt show you any respect in return or trust that he raised you qith enough common sense to make your own sensible decisions

Room size roll ends are the way to go, as long as you don't mind different rooms having different carpets. They're likely to be better quality/longer lasting than "the cheapest" and at a decent price, though obviously you have less choice. Your dad's daft.

How old are you? You aren't a child because you've bought a house. So stop letting him treat you like one.

Okay, see it just because he can measure. Find someone else that's good with a tape measure. It's really not difficult.

Ask around local carpet fitters ( not chain stores) for quotes, we had our entire 3 bedroom house done for under 900

Have you posted about your Dad's controlling ways before? Something involving cauliflower cheese?

Anyway of course YANBU. Ignore him. Distance yourself. If necessary tell him to mind his own business.

I would not be spending any time with someone who feels he can shot at me and call him names. Family or otherwise.

Plus the really cheap carpets on those rolls in carpet right are horrible and will wear out in a year or two... if you can get a better bit of carpet for the same price, that's got to be better. You may save money if you can use one piece to do two rooms... oh and better underlay if you can afford it makes a big difference

Go to a local carpet store, not a major brand. I’ve used both and found the chain store wouldn’t take up/take away the old carpet and was more expensive. The local guys were brilliant. They came and measured up, then we went to them to choose carpets/offcuts. They removed all the old carpet and were still cheaper than the chain store.

Oh and go by yourself, don’t take your dad.

Yanbu, and he shouldnt be shouting at you for not listening. Thats not how you have a conversation. He's not helping you if he's being a bully.
If you buy offcuts, you can get offcuts of higher quality than buying from a roll of cheap carpet.

You can learn to measure yourself, using squared paper and a tape measure. Do it 3 times and see if they all match. You'll find it easier if no ones shouting at you.

off cuts are nice, and usually very thick. They are cheaper because they only have a certain size/bit left.

If you ask for cheapest carpet they have usually its the thinnest carpet they have.

This is your house, please remeber that. Also ,learn how to measure so you don't need his help anymore. It clearly doesn't go down well you asking him for help.

Congrats on the house btw :)

You’re “rubbish at measuring”? Seriously? How can you be rubbish at measuring. It’s literally using a measuring tape from one point to another. Stop being so helpless.

Your dad is a muppet. You don't need the cheapest carpet, you need the best carpet you can get for your budget.

sounds a bit like my dad - although he doesnt do the name calling. Just say something like you will take what he says into consideration but you cant rely on him forever as you need to start making your own decisions. I was told i was making a mistake. I responded that it was my mistake to make (turned out not to be a mistake)

I found local carpet shops eyewateringly expensive, and I really would have liked to have supported them.

Ended up with much reduced, excellent quality stuff from Carpetright. Worth shopping around. We found that Tapi had a big range of different carpets, didn't use them and the shops smell very weird indeed but the staff were friendly and you might find them good.

He sounds abusive. The carpet shop will measure your house for you, mine always does. Explain your budget, explain you’d like to see some off cuts. Don’t involve your dad again. It’s your house, your decision.

Nod and smile. Then do what you want. I do that when my parents get a bit pushy. I don't want an argument but if I am paying out of my money I'll do whatever I choose.

We bought cheap stair/hall carpet thinking/hoping that we'd be moving soon.

A year later, house not sold, carpet looks rubbish. Its really not worn well at all.

Whether its off cuts, ends of roll etc pick carefully, the sales people will tell you what you want to hear.

Shop around, and get the carpet supplier to measure for you. They don't charge for this - I would be happy to measure a rectangular room but not stairs.

Not excusing him but maybe he needs to feel that you're listening to him? Maybe he's got some issue going on about not feeling heard? I would try listening. Give him your attention. Properly listen. Acknowledge him. Maybe thank him. Then, go about your business.

(BTW, I recently bought new carpet from a shop - 2 rooms and stairs for about £700, which included underlay and fitting.)