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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly exhausted

89 replies

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 20:16

I want to get off the treadmill. My day goes like this:
Up at 6 (though I usually haven't slept well and have woken several times, so I'm exhausted).
Get kids up. Nag them to get up and get dressed. Get myself up and dressed. Do house jobs like feed cat, put food in slow cooker etc. Leave house at 7.30. Drop two youngest kids with grandparents for them to be taken to school. Drive dd1 to high school which is near the school I work at.
Do photocopying and admin stuff. Teach all day with a club at lunch. Get dd1 and tutor for an hour sometimes, before picking other two from after school club.
Do the usual dinner and washing up. Wash uniform and nag dc about homework and teeth and bath etc. Do some school work. Collapse into bed. And repeat.
I have depression, sleep poorly and also now need to fix a serious fault with my car.
I have nothing left.

OP posts:
whatdidImiss · 28/09/2017 20:26

It does sound exhausting OP. Could the GPs take the kids this weekend so you could just sleep? Where is your ex - does he do anything?

headintheproverbial · 28/09/2017 20:28

YANBU. Sounds shit. Could you consider taking some time off work (sick leave I guess).

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 20:33

Grandparents won't take them at the weekend. Ex does every other weekend and after much begging from me, has agreed to take them on a thurs night when it isn't his weekend. I don't want to take sick leave but it is heading towards me genuinely being unable to carry on.

I have had a prize giving this week. School did finish at 1 so I did house jobs and then had to be back at the venue for 5.30. That finished at 9.30 and I got home for 10pm. Ex luckily agreed to put kids to bed but normally he says no. I've an open eve and a sat morn to do next week as well. I do all doctors, dentists, school cake sales, buying uniform and clothes in general, haircuts, everything for the kids. I'm so so tired.

OP posts:
thegreenlight · 28/09/2017 20:35

That sounds like my day - though I have to drop off at nursery and breakfast club. I'm a teacher too. What is sad is that I'm married and the major breadwinner but still do all this Confused.

BusterGonad · 28/09/2017 20:36

Can you give up the extra stuff like cake sales etc and buy a weeks worth of uniform so you don't need to wash daily? Can you get help with the sleep problem? Maybe meditate or medicate? Could you get the eldest children/child to help with household tasks?

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 20:38

The sleep problem is caused by the depression. I've just started anti depressants so they'll take a few weeks to kick in. The kids need to bring cakes in for school, that kind of stuff is important to them. I could buy more uniform bits.

OP posts:
Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 20:39

This is my depression talking but I don't see the point. This isn't a life and I'm just surviving at the moment.

OP posts:
OyyVeyy · 28/09/2017 20:43

Hugs 🤗 for you OP

BusterGonad · 28/09/2017 20:45

Op many mums feel like they are just surviving, but obviously at the moment your depression is getting the better of you, if you've just started new meds then please remember they OFTEN make you feel worse before you feel better, and also remember that you may need to try quite a few different ones to find the right match for you. Be gentle on yourself, your brain is currently going through massive changes due to the medication

BusterGonad · 28/09/2017 20:47

I understand about the cakes, of course you don't want to let your kids down, you are doing great and sound like a great mum, hopefully you will start to feel a bit brighter soon.

Booboobooboo84 · 28/09/2017 20:48

Op it will get better, how old are your children?

chocolateisnecessary · 28/09/2017 20:49

That sounds like my day tbh. Up at 6, school/playgroup run, work from home, pick up, work, pick up, club, dinner, work, bed at 11.30. It's exhausting.
I've struggled with depression a bit. Could you go for a walk in your lunch break? Just for 20mins? I down green juice before bed so I know I've had more vitamins.
Don't mean to sound glib but those things really help.
Be kind to yourself. It will get better and the meds will help.

slyoldfoxystoat · 28/09/2017 20:53

Sounds bloody hard for you all. Long days for you and kids and no break from it. Can you recharge your batteries at all at half term?
Am not a teacher so not sure how much work etc I have to do in holidays.

zippyswife · 28/09/2017 21:00

Firstly I'd like to say that I take my hat off to you. Teachers never get enough thanks or praise. And doing such a tough job and managing your own dcs too is going to be beyond knackering.

You will feel like you don't have time to do this but I really think you should try some mindfulness (I have 3 young dcs and am a police officer so am busy too). I do the headspace app and it has really given me extra time in my day and helped with my anxiety. I also have given myself more slack/let my standards drop a bit with dinners/housework etc- try to give yourself a bit of a break.

Your sanity is more important than running lunch clubs. Explain to your head that you are stressed and need an actual break at lunch- a 20 min walk and 10 min headspace would do you the world of good.

I've also taken up running since having dc3 last year. I find it so liberating and it always makes me feel amazing. I cannot recommend it enough. I try to squeeze it in early in the morning at the weekends.

Good luck. Things won't always be this crazy. You won't always be so pulled and busy. Try to enjoy the good bits and give yourself some slackFlowers

zippyswife · 28/09/2017 21:03

RL best friend is a teacher. Trying to manage teaching and her dcs made her so stressed. She was off with stress for 5 months or so. When she returned she was eased back in slowly and is now the SEN for the school which is less stressful. So maybe have a think about your options.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 21:11

I'm also anaemic so I am physically unwell too. The dc are 7, 9 and 11. I think I'll try a nice walk in my lunch break. I feel like I'm just functioning rather than living.

OP posts:
zippyswife · 28/09/2017 21:16

Are you taking something for that. I'm susceptible to anaemia and can barely get off the sofa when it's at it's worse. Getting on top of that will make things better.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/09/2017 21:17

That sounds so hard.
With your dc's ages, you are so so close to having an easier time.
Hang in there, hats off to all single parents working full time x

zippyswife · 28/09/2017 21:17

To be honest. From what you say I really think you need some time off. There's nothing to be ashamed of. If you need to go off sick do it. Get yourself back on form.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 21:18

I have some iron though can't face taking it at the moment as the new anti depressants are causing nausea. I've had them before so they do work after two weeks, so once the initial side effects die down I'll take the iron.

OP posts:
Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 21:18

I know I need time off. I maybe need to get signed off

OP posts:
Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 21:19

I don't want to let my exam classes down though

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 28/09/2017 21:20

Can I just say Op, my husband is a teacher and has an ongoing battle with anxiety and depression. Admittedly I do the brut of the childcare etc and I work and I suffer from a autoimmune disease and I'm knackered all the time but the key is to find coping strategies and prioritize yourself over keeping the house tidy etc.

Original poster
Farontothemaddingcrowd · 28/09/2017 21:21

It's interesting so many teachers struggle. Being single doesn't help as I have no one to share the load with, physically or emotionally. Hence talking on here:)

OP posts:
Tantpoke · 28/09/2017 21:24

I was exhausted like you and my GP signed me off for a few weeks as well as giving me meds to cope.

Once my DD and DS could walk themselves to school things changed for the better which was only last year but OMG its made a massive difference.