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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To write to her school?

152 replies

triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:34

My NDN moved in two years ago.

Friendly, chatty and generally lovely.
Their daughter is at a local high school and I know this because all letters for them from the school (in headed envelopes) have my door number on them.

The first few times I'd just drop them through their door. Then the next few times made sure to knock and hand it over with a "didn't know you'd moved into mine!?"
Now yesterday, another one arrived.

My great nephew (2) was visiting and got and opened the post before I did. I got the post was ready to apologise and be all PA about if they'd changed door number etc, then I read it. School is threatening court action and debt recovery.
Now as the parents have not changed the address, should I anonymously contact school with a please amend you details of this student?

OP posts:
Heathen4Hire · 24/09/2017 07:36

No. Stay out of it. None of your business.

caroline161 · 24/09/2017 07:36

Yes of course. Just explain what's been happening and what has now happened and ask then to amend the details.

Gizlotsmum · 24/09/2017 07:38

Send them back not known at this address. Don’t ignore them but don’t ask neighbour to change address they would have done it by now.

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:39

Heathen
I really don't want debt collectors at my door. They've made it my business by not changing the door number surely.

OP posts:
Whatshouldmyusernamebe · 24/09/2017 07:39

Actually I think you should because otherwise the bad credit could affect you if it's attached to your address.

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:40

Gizlotsmum
I've done that with previous occupiers post but it still comes!

OP posts:
MagicMoneyTree · 24/09/2017 07:41

I don't agree with saying out of it completely. You don't have to mention accidentally opening the post. Just contact the school, say you've asked her to correct the error because it all keeps coming to your house and nothing has happened and you feel like the best action would be to explain that she's at number 2, not 4 and could they update as a matter of urgency. When someone wrongly puts your address down as theirs it becomes your business.

MaisyPops · 24/09/2017 07:42

I would send them back to the school saying 'nobody of this name lives at this address. I think these letters are for our neighbour. Normally I don't open them but... understandably I'm now quite concerned. Had I opened them sooner, I'd have contacted sooner.'

I know some are saying not to mention the neighbours but I absolutely would. Why should the OP risk getting bailiffs at her house and having to prove everything is her family's property because someone has fraudulently used her address to rack up debt?

Newtssuitcase · 24/09/2017 07:43

Yes, just ring the school and explain they have the wrong address. I don't understand why you wouldn't Confused. Your neighbour clearly won't because they're hoping to avoid paying the debt by putting down your address.

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:48

I was thinking about using the details of off this letter, full name, date of birth etc and asking them to amend the details from my door number to theirs. Would that be weird?

OP posts:
StepAwayFromCake · 24/09/2017 07:49

I very much doubt whether the school would change your neighbour's records on your say-so. OTOH it has now gone too far, with her debt being chased at your address. Opening the letter by mistake is a non-issue, but taking it to the school would be, as that could be considered interfering with the post or depriving the intended addressee of their post, both of which I believe are illegal.

However, I would contact the school and explain the situation. Speak to the Bursar or Business Manager and be completely honest. It does affect you. Offer to provide evidence of your name and address. The electoral register should be proof that she does not live at your address.

flumpybear · 24/09/2017 07:49

Phone the school. Explain they've been asked to change the address but haven't done so and now you're taking matters into your own hands - I suspect they've done it to protect themselves from whatever they've racked up debt wise but that's their problem

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:50

Newtssuitcase
That's my concern

OP posts:
MagicMoneyTree · 24/09/2017 07:50

You can't pretend to be them, no. That's fraud. Just say you're the neighbour and they live next door. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, just inform them of the facts and stay out of the actual content of the letters.

shakingmyhead1 · 24/09/2017 07:59

it doesnt need to be a drama just call the school and tell them they are not at your address, sorta quick and simple really

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 08:00

Wasn't going to pretend to be them.

Would've just been all the required information anonymously.

OP posts:
TheLionQueen1 · 24/09/2017 08:03

Why do you need to do it anonymously? Just call the school Monday and explain you've been getting post for someone from them not at your address, you believe it should be for mrs x at number 4? They'll quickly be able to change that and you haven't done anything wrong to let them know, or anger the neighbours or admit you read that letter?

I would have done that after the second time of asking them anyway, regardless to content of letter

Migraleve · 24/09/2017 08:08

I dont get the fear of a debt collector at your doo. You literally say to them ‘oh that’s not me’ - NOTHING bad would happen and adverse credit is to do with people not bricks and mortar.

I would have phoned the school after the first time of handing letters back; but it’s not too late to call and say can you please stop sending these to me, X lives at number *

MagicMoneyTree · 24/09/2017 08:09

You're making too much of it. Just call them, say there's been a mix up and ask them to change it. Let them take it from there.

Migraleve · 24/09/2017 08:10

was thinking about using the details of off this letter, full name, date of birth etc and asking them to amend the details from my door number to theirs. Would that be weird?

Or you could simply phone and be you and tell the School they have the wrong address

What on earth is complicated about it

SoupDragon · 24/09/2017 08:13

I had a similar problem with DS's school anda neighbour's boy. It happened both ways with me getting their post and them getting mine. I just emailed them and they sorted it out.

overnightangel · 24/09/2017 08:15

Ring the school and explain and make them change the address
Bin the letter
Job sorted in 30 seconds

SweetCrustPastry · 24/09/2017 08:18

This happened to us with an ex-lodger. When I contacted the company that kept writing to him they asked for his new address so I don't think it will be a problem for the school to fix this if you ring them OP. They have to take your address off their records if you tell them. It's against the law for them not to.

Supermagicsmile · 24/09/2017 08:20

Absolutely ring them!

OurMiracle1106 · 24/09/2017 08:25

Personally I would go to the school next time one comes with the unopened envelope and say that this person doesn't live at my address taking a recent bill as proof and ask they amend address