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AIBU?

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Original poster

To write to her school?

152 replies

triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:34

My NDN moved in two years ago.

Friendly, chatty and generally lovely.
Their daughter is at a local high school and I know this because all letters for them from the school (in headed envelopes) have my door number on them.

The first few times I'd just drop them through their door. Then the next few times made sure to knock and hand it over with a "didn't know you'd moved into mine!?"
Now yesterday, another one arrived.

My great nephew (2) was visiting and got and opened the post before I did. I got the post was ready to apologise and be all PA about if they'd changed door number etc, then I read it. School is threatening court action and debt recovery.
Now as the parents have not changed the address, should I anonymously contact school with a please amend you details of this student?

OP posts:
caoraich · 24/09/2017 09:56

Yes - I'd ring the school and explain. Just give the information from the front of the letter not the contents you accidentally opened.
We had similar with previous owners who decided not to change their address with a letting agent they owed money to. Letting agent were grateful and we haven't had any more letters.
I had looked our our various letters to prove we did indeed own the house but were never asked for them.

SoupDragon · 24/09/2017 09:58

what debt would a local high school be chasing?

I wondered this too but the OP doesn't say the school is a state school.

Mittens1969 · 24/09/2017 10:04

This happened to us at our previous address. The man we bought the house from didn't have his mail redirected and we asked the NDN for his address so we could forward it. (They'd been business partners, and these were business letters.) He just said to keep bringing the post over to his house and was very cagey.

We started returning the post to sender, then we had a call from the Inland Revenue asking if we had his new address?? So we knew it was a tax dodge! Am

And then when we moved away but when we visited the old house, we found that the NDNs' house had been repossessed.

So yes, I would notify the school. You just don't know what's going on here.

Migraleve · 24/09/2017 10:07

Yeah, having bailiffs at your door for people who don't live at your address is funtimes! Woo hoo!!

Oh ffs I’m not saying it’s fun! I’m saying it’s not the big scary stuff it’s being made out to be. Because it really isn’t.

emmyrose2000 · 24/09/2017 10:09

The fact this is ongoing makes me believe the NDN deliberately gave out the wrong address to start with, precisely because they knew there was some ongoing financial issue.

There's no need to make a mountain out of a molehill. Simply email the school and tell them that the neighbour's correct address is (whatever), and to please change their records accordingly. Also ask for a confirmation email that they have done so.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/09/2017 10:12

At my DD’s school if you’re behind with fees they just don’t let your child in the school, so I’m assuming it’s a state school? Could be for after school club or residential trips?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/09/2017 10:14

Having bailiffs at your door for other people is still stressful and heartbreaking. We had it once and had to prove we lived there and us alone. We’d just moved so had nothing with our name and address on, the bloke didn’t believe us (we’d moved into SIL’s house and the bailiff was for her, so family name etc was the same), it was a nightmare! It’s only because her DH came over and took him to their new house that they left us alone

FlowerPot1234 · 24/09/2017 10:19

Very much your business - your address will be down for debt recovery and you most certainly do not want that. Tell the school about the matter and ask your NDN how they are getting on with making sure they have sorted out their change of address, as you are still getting their post.

user789653241 · 24/09/2017 10:27

I just keep sending them back. Tell the neighbour that you are doing so.
And not get involved.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/09/2017 10:28

At my DD’s school if you’re behind with fees they just don’t let your child in the school, so I’m assuming it’s a state school? Could be for after school club or residential trips?

Doubt it is after school club. At dd's school if you are more than a week behind they don't let you go. And it is only about £8 a day so that would only be a debt of £40. Seems a bit OTT to get debt collectors in. (Do they even have after school club at secondary.) Trip - maybe. But wouldn't they just not let the child go?

It is a puzzle. Grin And far more interesting to debate than poor Op's original question.

BewareOfDragons · 24/09/2017 10:37

Alert the school in writing as has been suggested. Follow it up with a phone call or a visit. But you do need to sort this, because as other posters have said, bailiffs showing up at your door can be a problem.

user789653241 · 24/09/2017 10:40

I agree with alerting the school. Whatever is going on, it's no good.
And you passing the letters can not be good either. You are making it your business by doing them a neighbourly favour.

Original poster
triplesalco · 24/09/2017 10:44

To answer some (quite amusing and some but rude) questions!

It's a state school. All the state schools round here have headed envelopes, my kids attended a different state school and it was the same.

Why would I know why there is debt? Lunches? Trips? School fines? Gambling? Bail?

I did not open the letter. My great nephew did, he is 2. I didn't reach it in time. But in all honesty, how many of you seeing a letter with YOUR address on it but not in your name and seeing the words DEBT on it, wouldn't keep on reading?

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 24/09/2017 10:55

Absolutely contact the school... Balloonslayers draft is good...

Would email then follow up with a call to school. You then have paper trail of what you've done who you've informed.

We've had this at several addresses we've lived at. When it's junk mail-a pain in arse...

But... Other people's legal threats /debts/ccj are a real pain...you must act to protect your interests!!

We had a man (I only knew by sight) who had lived in the same block, run up debts but gave our flat as his address....several times...
My I had a fun time pursuading the bailiffs I wasn't his girlfriend.... I had police involved (I called them as I was so upset with bailiff mail saying they were going to break into my house and take goods up to the debt amount), I also wrote to court who were sorting his debtors, that me, and my address were nothing to do with this man.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/09/2017 10:58

I wouldn't phone them, I would go in and see them. I would explain that you have been receiving their letters for some time and that you know this is your next door neighbour, and that up til now you have been dropping the letters through their door.

I would take your council tax bill, or similar, with your own name and door number, to prove this.

And I wouldn't take the current letter with you as, despite it being an accident, it's still an offence to open someone else's mail (as far as I remember).

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/09/2017 11:01

And yes, it is a very real problem when bad debts are attached to your address, as your NDN no doubt knows!
I myself have had debt collectors come to MY door FOR the NDN, in case I knew where they had gone (they didn't threaten me, they were just seeking info, but it's still a bit of a shock!)

So yes, you need to deal with this. And the best way is, IMO, to go to the school and do it in person. And maybe talk to a solicitor or the police about the legality of what your NDN is doing.

SandyDenny · 24/09/2017 11:02

Have you emailed now?

Witchend · 24/09/2017 11:16

They may have asked school to change it and it not gone through.
When my parents moved into house (40 years ago) they were accidently told the wrong number. (Because the house next door is 3a not 5 as assumed)
They told everyone as soon as they discovered this. There are a couple of businesses/people that still address it to the wrong number despite having been told, written to, phoned etc on a fairly regular basis.
Luckily the postman has always been very good at looking at the name and assessing which door to put it through.

It is also possible with computers that they're correcting it somewhere on the files and the computer is overriding it because they don't realise they haven't corrected the main one.
Again my parents had a large number of letters (tax/bank/driving licence etc) suddenly turning up addressed perfectly to their address but the wrong name. This was after being in the house 20 years.
Turned out he lived at a street the same name, but was a new build and they'd been given the wrong postcode-my parents. Really silly as they weren't even in the same postal district.
But the computers didn't say "Oh the village says "Whitehaven" but the postcode is wrong, it's more likely the person has the postcode wrong than the village name." No, it automatically corrected the village to their village to match the address.
Poor chap was going spare as thing after thing disappeared. My parents were getting freaked out by these letters! Eventually one arrived which had the name of both villages on, and then my parents were able to contact him and get it sorted out.
Mind you there's one or two things even now occasionally slip through, but at least they know where to readdress them.

melj1213 · 24/09/2017 11:42

I'd just email the school, let them know you have been receiving the NDN's mail and to update their records.

Dear School Administrator,

My name is triplesalco I live at 123 High Street, My Town. I have been receiving letters from your school addressed to at for a couple of years now.

lives at 125 High Street, My Town. Whenever I receive letters from the school I have taken them to and asked her to correct this clerical error. However, since I am still receiving letters from the school this clearly has not happened. This suggests either has not yet informed the school of the miscommunication or the system has not been updated correctly at the school. Either way it is becoming an inconvenience so please can you correct the records at your earliest opportunity?

If you require any further information or clarification regarding this issue please feel free to contact me. My email is and my phone number is .

Thank you,

Mittens1969 · 24/09/2017 12:45

We had the same problems at our current address as at our previous one. Letters came to our house addressed to a couple who never lived here, threatening action to reclaim credit card debts. It was scary as I was at home during the day at the time with a toddler.

In the end, we managed to convince them that the couple had never lived here, we'd bought the house from the original owners. We even had to send a copy of the deeds to the house!

Crazy that it should happen to us in two different houses! It's horrible, you definitely need to contact the school, OP.

FlandersRocks · 24/09/2017 12:48

My eye did the 2 year old open it Grin

No matter though, I probably would have!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/09/2017 12:49

@melj1213's draft looks spot on - I would send it straight away. I might add a request that the school confirms that they have been made aware that this is not the correct address, and that they are dealing with the situation.

Biker47 · 24/09/2017 13:32

it's still an offence to open someone else's mail (as far as I remember).

It's not. If you're opening it and using the contents to injure or to the detriment of the intended recipient then it's an offence.

If it has your address on it, you then have a reasonable excuse for opening it.

Opening it and trying to communicate with the sender about the error, or finding out how to get it to the actual intended recipient are reasonable excuses for having opened it.

I opened a letter that was sent to my house the other week, was from the DVLA, sent it back with a note saying I didn't know that person, haven't been sent to jail yet.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/09/2017 14:17

Are you sure that it's reasonable to open a letter to return it, when these letters have the school crest on them? The letters could be returned to sender WITHOUT being opened under those circumstances, which would surely render it unreasonable to open them.

I know this was an accident if it was opened as the OP has stated - but I wouldn't ever open a letter that has a return option on the envelope.

melj1213 · 24/09/2017 14:52

The Postal Services Act 2000 states:

A person commits an offence if, intending to act to a person’s detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him.

Therefore the OP would only have been committing an offence if they had knowingly opened the letter for the express purpose of withholding it/not passing it on to the correct recipient. It is not an offence to open a letter that has been sent to your address with someone else's name on it as they have no proof you didn't read the name wrong etc.

I live with DD9 ... I don't even look at the particulars of envelopes (unless they're obviously hand written so it could be for DD, though that's only usually around her birthday and Xmas) as DD doesn't get any official correspondence so any post coming through the letter box is 99.9% likely going to be for me and I just open it straight away without scrutinising it first.

Occasionally there has been a letter for a neighbour that I have realised when I have seen it's headed from a company/bank I don't work with and then registered the name/address is wrong. If it is a neighbour's letter addressed to them that had just got in my stack I will just put it back in the envelope, pop round and explain it was in my mail, apologise for opening it and let them know I hadn't read more than the first line or two once I realised it wasn't for me. If it is for a previous tenant/owner but addressed to my house I will either put it back in the envelope, seal it up put it in another envelope with a note about not reading the name, just the address and forward on (previous owner left their forwarding address when I bought the house) or return it to sender with "not known at this address" written on the envelope.