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AIBU?

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Original poster

To write to her school?

152 replies

triplesalco · 24/09/2017 07:34

My NDN moved in two years ago.

Friendly, chatty and generally lovely.
Their daughter is at a local high school and I know this because all letters for them from the school (in headed envelopes) have my door number on them.

The first few times I'd just drop them through their door. Then the next few times made sure to knock and hand it over with a "didn't know you'd moved into mine!?"
Now yesterday, another one arrived.

My great nephew (2) was visiting and got and opened the post before I did. I got the post was ready to apologise and be all PA about if they'd changed door number etc, then I read it. School is threatening court action and debt recovery.
Now as the parents have not changed the address, should I anonymously contact school with a please amend you details of this student?

OP posts:
x2boys · 24/09/2017 09:13

well i thought that but how much debt could you get in for not paying lunches it would be easier to send in a packed lunch???

cdtaylornats · 24/09/2017 09:13

Presumably if the OP rings up the school will go and ask the child what their address is.

dairymilkmonster · 24/09/2017 09:13

I would just phone the school and say the letters are coming and they don't live at your address. No real need to say you know them or get further involved.

Jenacles · 24/09/2017 09:17

I would just call/email and ask for details to be updated. But don't try to use their details to do it.
We recently had debt collection letters come to our house in someone else's name. Got in touch with West Midlands police, who advised to open letters (it is only a problem if you are deliberately acting to cause detriment to the addressee) then emailed the company, who replied that they had now updated their details.

metalmum15 · 24/09/2017 09:20

Dds high school won't provide lunches if there's no money available (think they're allowed one then the credit has to be topped up ) and trips have to be paid for in advance. They're very strict when it comes to money.

metalmum15 · 24/09/2017 09:20

Dds high school won't provide lunches if there's no money available (think they're allowed one then the credit has to be topped up ) and trips have to be paid for in advance. They're very strict when it comes to money.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/09/2017 09:20

X2boys I assumed it was a private school. The "headed envelopes" doesn't sound like a state school. Very easy to get into debt with a private school.

Anyway Balloon Slayer has the answer. An excellent suggestion.

Of course you should tell the school. Ok - you could wait for the bailiffs and technically they should go away once you have proved you are not them but it will be a hassle and unpleasant and why should you for something that is not of your making.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 24/09/2017 09:20

If you're planning to tell this school the facts of what hPpened (which I believe you should, and then return the letter to next door so you haven't interfered with the post) then you're hardly in a position to remain anonymous. The school clearly had your address... they literally know where you live!

Just state the facts clearly, as you have done here. Mention that you feel awkward about the situation and would rather your neighbours didn't find out you'd had to go to these lengths. In my experience schools try to be as discreet as possible.

I feel for you though - this is a shitty situation x

Tartyflette · 24/09/2017 09:22

missing the point a bit but how can you get in debt with a state school?
Lunches, school trips, extracurricular lessons/activities, covenants not paid?

Tartyflette · 24/09/2017 09:23

Argh. And another x-post.

ShellyBoobs · 24/09/2017 09:24

Stay out of it. None of your business

WTF is MN on today?!

Potential bailiffs knocking on OP’s door? Yeah it’s none of her business

There's always some clown who can't wait to get in with 'none of your business', regardless of the situation.

x2boys · 24/09/2017 09:25

It says local high school in the Op Mum which is why i thought state school? Anyway im getting far to involved in a stranger on the internets next door neighbours debt problems!

TansyVioletta · 24/09/2017 09:26

I assumed it was a private school.

LonginesPrime · 24/09/2017 09:27

I would just write 'not known at this address' and send back. I wouldn't keep passing the post on as the school won't realise there's an issue.

I definitely wouldn't go into any detail (DOB, etc) that makes you look more linked to the NDN than you are.

Plus, if the NDN is deliberately giving your address out (or deliberately not correcting it), you're adding to the proof it's their address by giving them access to the post they're having sent to you.

It could be a one-off, but if they're in the habit of not paying their debts on time, they would be able to get credit cards and other debt and could 'prove' they live at your address because they have access to the post that's sent there.

TansyVioletta · 24/09/2017 09:27

Lots of private schools have High School in the name.

youarenotkiddingme · 24/09/2017 09:32

Love threads like these.

OP: "been getting next doors school mail for DD for a while. Have handed to neighbours and asked them to amend details with school. DGN opened letter and now o know it's related to debt. How's best to proceed?"

MN: "just ask neighbour to change address"

"You shouldn't have opened it"

"It's none of your business"

Meanwhile.... back in the real world....

I would send an email to school saying you have been receiving mail for X recipients who are your neighbours. You've been handing the mail to them direct and have repeatedly asked them to update the files at school. It's clearly not been done. So you ask the school to amend the address to X at no y street and will be bringing in a utility bill to prove the address they hold on file is yours.

Then post the letter through neighbours door with a "sorry DGN for hold of the envelope" message and don't mention it to them to that you know contents.

HidingUnderARock · 24/09/2017 09:38

Do what balloon slayer suggested. An email is quicker than visiting or post, but is still in writing so more formal than the telephone. I can't imagine they would change the address of a non responsive debtor because of a random phone call. It also gives them a way of getting right back to you with any questions.

As someone who rented after a serial debtor, its no fun to constantly be phoned and visited and called a liar and mocked and generally insulted for claiming to not be someone you are not.

I correctly took unopened letters round to the landlord to be forwarded on, but when the court bailiff eventually arrived he was unpleasantly forceful in saying that we should have opened the letters and responded to the sender. Its a bit of a no-win, but accidents happen with 2yos and now you know, you can and should act.

elevenclips · 24/09/2017 09:41

Having bailiffs rounds is really horrible. You need to take steps to avoid this right away. Ring the school and explain truthfully that you keep receiving post with neighbour's name on and for them to change the address. You should get written confirmation of this in case you get into a sticky situation. If it was me, I'd go in person to the headteacher and make very certain it's sorted.

A friend had a lodger who moved out and owed £400 to a company (nothing to do with friend). Lodger had given friends address. Lodger moved out without telling friend where they were going (clearly knew debt collectors on horizon, not to mention the lodging money not paid to friend).

Anyway the bailiffs turned up, friend explained had lodger etc bailiffs basicallly said give us cash or debit card now or we take your stuff to the value right now. Friend frightened into paying the lodgers £400 debt on debit card. These people were really nasty, threatening and intimidating. Friend is male and a big guy and was still terrified. They took his money knowing full well it had nothing to do with him. Lodger was female so bailiffs could not even have mistaken identity. They operate right on the edge of the law and say things that aren't true so watch out OP you need to sort this. I cannot believe that someone upthread thinks you can just say to debt collectors "it isn't me". If they have your address they will try to take stuff from your Address regardless. They are horrible really OP.

Sahara123 · 24/09/2017 09:44

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Call school, tell them you've been getting mail for Mr & Mrs XXX to your address . It's not for you , there's no one with that name here, please amend. Thank you. And leave it for them to sort it out. I work in a school office, that's what we'd do.

Starlight2345 · 24/09/2017 09:44

There is always someone who tells you that you shouldn't read the letter,

This really isn't a big issue but should be dealt with.
Phone school..
Letters are coming to my address which is .... for child ...And they live at .....

Thank you..Get on with your day.

There is no need for cloak and dagger stuff...Schools have so much to do rather than trying to chase an address..Give them it.. Simple...Sorted.

Migraleve · 24/09/2017 09:45

Having bailiffs rounds is really horrible.

Not if they are not for you it’s not! Stop putting the fear into the OP. If a bailiff turns up you just tell them you are not who they are looking for.

Migraleve · 24/09/2017 09:48

cannot believe that someone upthread thinks you can just say to debt collectors "it isn't me". If they have your address they will try to take stuff from your Address regardless.

Actually you CAN and thousands of people DO just inform when it’s mistaken identity. The scenario you describe sounds like underhand loan sharks.** Bailiffs will not try and take things from someone who doesn’t owe them a debt.

hollyisalovelyname · 24/09/2017 09:51

I would contact the school and say you keep getting letters for your neighbours from them as the address is wrong and to ask them to amend it.

VeryCunningStunt · 24/09/2017 09:54

Having bailiffs rounds is really horrible

Not if they are not for you it’s not!

Yeah, having bailiffs at your door for people who don't live at your address is funtimes! Woo hoo!! Grin

SteampunkPrincess · 24/09/2017 09:55

what debt would a local high school be chasing? weird

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