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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or did she really mean to make it worse?

70 replies

Takamine · 23/09/2017 21:53

Friend came over for coffee. We're close , have been for a couple of years. She's well aware things are rocky for me and DH at the moment, particularly around sex. So we're chatting, DH is around, joining in occasionally (they also get on well) and (we have just had babies) she throws in that she was all over her DH when she came out of hospital, and that recently he'd been giving her the knock back because she was after it so much. It seemed to come from nowhere, and was when DH was in the same room. Wtf is that all about. 3 times she brought it up - is this just an oversight on her part or something else?! For background, she is very open and we have all chatted about sex before, but the timing today couldn't have been more off

OP posts:

PickAChew · 23/09/2017 21:56

it's a rare woman who is up for sex as soon as she gives birth. I'd be suspicious of her motives.

PickleRickSanchez · 23/09/2017 21:57

If your friend is aware of these sexual issues, and if the sexual issues are related to the fact that you've recently had babies so don't feel ready for sex yet, then I'd say that her blatant telling your DH that she's permanently horny is a major red flag tbh.

And yes, I'd say it was totally intentional. Nobody is that thick.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/09/2017 21:58

Weird. What was she thinking?!

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 23/09/2017 21:59

I would back off from her tbh. She was trying to make your dh envious - whether it was because her dh is getting sex full stop - or sex with her - I think you need to assertain, before you continue to class her as a close friend.

hareagain · 23/09/2017 22:00

Sack her off big style.

Tinkerbec · 23/09/2017 22:00

Some weird flirtation or attention thing possibly or trying to gee up your husband.

Very weird though:

Hunkle · 23/09/2017 22:02

TMI from her!

She knew exactly what she was doing three times

RebornSlippy · 23/09/2017 22:02

I have never heard of anyone rampant for sex a day or two after giving birth. And I've met a lot of post-partum women.

She's full of shit as well as stirring some. Weird.

RandomMess · 23/09/2017 22:05

I was rampant but didn't tell anyone else at the time, and certainly wouldn't be telling anyone

In front of their husband
If I knew they were having issues

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:06

Oh I believe her she's sex mad

But it's left a bad taste

OP posts:

miniloco · 23/09/2017 22:07

Trying to seem like a 'cool' wife? Like the wife every man would want to have? Can't think of any other reason. Regardless it's shitty behaviour especially from a friend.

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:09

To be fair we have all talked about/joked about sex together (our husbands also get along very well) and in general she always has to be the best at everything, which I let slide. DH and her do have a flirty relationship but it's not a concern at all (I can't stress this enough!) however, this feels odd. I haven't been able to talk to her since (I've blanked a couple of messages) I'll be really sad to loose her as a friend but you are all confirming that this was off. Do I tell her?

OP posts:

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 23/09/2017 22:11

Just back away gracefully or she will likely rate you as hormonal and then you will really want to lamp her one. .

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:12

We have a lot of mutual friends. It will be really hard to just duck out

OP posts:

Gemini69 · 23/09/2017 22:13

She's not funny.. she's not cute.. she's not classy.. and she's certainly not friend Lady

and you explain yourself to nobody x

Italiangreyhound · 23/09/2017 22:13

I'd not want her around me or my dh.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 23/09/2017 22:16

See her in company but not on a one to one anymore. . If she asks why not just say spare time is taken up now with dc /dh etc. No need to spell it out. .

PickAChew · 23/09/2017 22:18

Back away gracefully. Yes.

If you're with mutual friends and she comes out with such shit, it's a good time for an ORLLY?! response. Don't be afraid to call bullshit on her if her "humour" is OTT.

But don't invite her to your home again.

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:19

We see each other 3+ times a week and usually with DH/family in tow at least every other week. I wish I had asked at the time what she was playing at

OP posts:

PickAChew · 23/09/2017 22:20

That's quite intense, if there's no school runs or regular unavoidable events involved in the meetings.

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:25

Our children get along, and so do we (usually). Our schedules are very similar

OP posts:

Gemini69 · 23/09/2017 22:25

She's left you feeling embarrassed and exposed in front of your DH about an issue very private personal and important to you both.... she knew exactly what she was doing OP

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/09/2017 22:26

I don't think she's after your husband and it's quite sad that other posters do. I think she's in competition with YOU and you are the focus of her bragging/boasting.

Next time you're on your own with her ask her outright why she feels the need to do that? I'm sure that you can think of other examples of her competitiveness too. Ask her.

lookatyourwatchnow · 23/09/2017 22:29

Oh what an absolute knob she is. Why would your close friend kick you while you're down like that?

Original poster

Takamine · 23/09/2017 22:29

Why are girls so shit

OP posts:

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