Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

I too thought that about the car. And only last week I was telling the kids about how I had watched a calf being born and the farmer put his hand up to the elbow in the cows bottom

Until dp pointed out that it would have been the cows vagina. However I'm still not convinced.

That in life I would be judged on my ability, achievements and kindness to others rather than my looks. That was definitely a lie fed by parents and school.

The most dangerous one is until the age of 28 I thought you just put fire out with water. Our tumble dryer caught fire, I filled a saucepan with water and my housemate was like "fucking STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

See also: for years I pulled toast out the toaster using a knife.

Its a miracle im still alive really...

Brighton aha not just me then! It does seem logical right?!

Subtlecheese I'm sorry you feel that way. Those qualities are definitely important to the people that matter in your life.

I thought for years that sheep were taken in at night to barns like cows, horses etc. I thought they'd all freeze being out 24/7.

I thought star fish were make believe cartoon animals... til I saw some at an aquarium . Mind blown. Friends in stitches for weeks.

@londonloves I thought that about seahorses

@Pacificplaza My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter blush.

Helpful hint: MY OH advised me (also have an old non AC car) to only run the fan on #2 speed (out of 4) as that was a more efficient way to use it until the engine had warmed up. Something to do with not setting off the heat fan pump thingy which would be pointless on a cold engine. You can tell I paid close attention...

My sister wouldnt eat jam for years as a child because I'd told her it was made from octopus babies and she was convinced that was the truth.

I thought mammoths were mythical creatures like unicorns until I saw one in a museum and lost my mind 😂

I used to think that women had less ribs than men, as this is what's in the bible, and I was brought up very religiously. (As in, God took a rib from the man and fashioned women out of it, and to this day, women have les ribs than men do...)
But it's not true at all.

I thought for years that sheep were taken in at night to barns like cows, horses etc. I thought they'd all freeze being out 24/7
Horses & cows can/do live outside 24/7 too

That chocolates caused worms until a patient paediatrician pointed out that the chocolates on their own can't create worms. It was one of those how can I be so stupid moments.
Can't beat my DSIL who grew up believing that cash machines had tunnels linked to banks who would send money at each request, up to her 20s

I convinced dd that cured ham was from a pig that had been poorly. .
She is 28 and just recently clicked...

I thought I'd grow up to marry a cartoon character. It was only when I was in halls of residence, looking at my poster of the cartoon animal, thinking what will our children be like - that it twigged. CARTOON CHARACTER!!!!

You mean my eyes dont steam up?! Haha i feel really dumb now.
I also thought "houston we have a problem" was "euston we have a problem" and that euston was just some man until listening to radio 1 the other morning.

I thought I'd grow up to marry a cartoon character. It was only when I was in halls of residence, looking at my poster of the cartoon animal, thinking what will our children be like - that it twigged. CARTOON CHARACTER!!!!

Erm

I didn't realise trains had wheels. I'd never looked, and never pondered how they moved until one day watching Thomas the Tank Engine. I was late 30s at the time, and couldn't understand why other people weren't as astonished as me when I told them.

This is stupid but I still don't know the answer to this one: I have had one fallopian tube removed, so what happens to the ova when it is released? I have visions of it bouncing down my leg

paranoid when you say "halls of residence" do you mean at university?!

Not me (honest) but my roommate at uni thought unicorns were real. She was absolutely convinced that she'd seen them at Longleat. Still friends now and it's still funny.

I was astounded by the fact that the actual lyrics to "Oh dear what can the matter be?" have no mention of 'three young ladies locked in a lavatory'.

I blame my grandfather.

We got my fil a learn to drive a steam train experience day for his birthday. He showed us the pictures and I asked which wheel was the steering wheel. Dh's whole family were there and they all just exchanged a look that said 'I knew she was a fucking idiot'. It took me ages to work out why there wasn't a steering wheel.

Only this year did I realise a wolverine does in fact exist in the animal kingdom and is not just a made up character in comic books.