Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

I wonder if the people who say 'hyperbowl' also say say 'Penny-lope'.

there are no English rules of pronunciation that tell you otherwise.

... and of course that's true, PigletJohn as those words aren't English, so there wouldn't be (not arguing with you, btw). I was surprised that neither of dd's Primary teachers knew how to pronounce Penelope or Nike when they were teaching the class Greek myths, though.

Although there are not enough English pronunciation rules to tell you roughly how anything should be pronounced

I used to think that meringue was pronounced merring-gyou and was a sort of fish. I decided that the sugary thing was spelt marang.

Mind you, I did wonder why the Famous Five were constantly going on about how delicious meringues are. Even the nicest fish didn't seem to me to merit that degree of enthusiasm.

A friend was concerned about mountain sheep falling down steep slopes but was reassured when we told her that one set of legs was shorter than the other so they fit better! Sorry, shouldn't have teased

I have heard though that you should never mock someone for a mispronounced word as it means they learned it by reading

I don't think anyone is mocking.

Laughing at all of these, especially the haggis ones...

My dad gave me a clutch of those marble/stone eggs that were big in the 80s once after a trip to Lossiemouth. He told me they were fossilised haggis eggs and ridiculously valuable so I couldn’t tell anyone I had them.

I also thought Gerry Adams was Sinn Fein

When we were small children my Dad used tell us that we could catch wild rabbits by running up and salting their tails.

Of course, no chance that small children would ever get anywhere near them anyway. I can't remember how long I might have believed him for.

Slightly off topic but I've just told DS that some people think Christopher Marlowe - the writer - was stabbed in a ballroom bra (instead of bar-room brawl). He's crying laughing at me.

Here's a sheep one to tease people with: why aren't sheep green, to be camouflaged?

Maybe there are green sheep, but we never noticed.

Finally got to the end of the thread... Here's mine. Despite knowing the word occupied, I somehow decided that the word on the opposite side to vacant on a toilet door lock, was o-cup-y-ed, with the emphasis on cup as in teacup.

Also thought To let signs were missing an i.

@iklboo Kit Marlowe would no doubt have totally pulled off a ballroom bra

My partner confused John Lennon with Lenin.

"Apparently, Lenin was a bit of a socialist".

Penny Lope the An-tel-o-pee