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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Deary me. Housemate didn't think this through.

64 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 06:33

A couple of days ago flatmate parked 1 of his 3 motorcycles blocking the garage door so I couldn't get my car out. There is about 5 other spaces in and around the front garden where it could have been parked, or even in his side of the double garage.

I went to go out at 10.30am, found driveway blocked. Knocked 3 times on his bedroom door before a grizzly housemate opened it and went to move his bike.

Later, at 4.30 ish, he asked me to move my car out of the garage as he wanted to tidy the garage. No problem and thought he planned to re-organise his bikes and tools. But he re-arranged the lawn mower, gardening tools plus a couple of boxes so nothing was even an inch over his side. Not much was on his side to begin with as it was mostly on my side and in front on my car. My personal boxes were moved across to the garage side wall. My car still fitted on my side, though I wouldn't have been able to open the car door.

So I re-arranged everything again so I could park in the garage and still not have anything over the 'line'.

Silly thing is .... the way it was stored, before he passive aggressively re-arranged was more convenient for him. Now I can only drive my car in far enough for the door to close which prevents housemate from working on his bikes as easily and with the security he desired. (He has lost the 2 foot gap behind my car to get to the power point and internal access door - which is one the side wall beside my car)

Sorry everyone, this got rather long. So AIBU to NOT offer to move everything back the way it was OR wait until he asks? I know he is pissed out with this situation.

OP posts:

SpamHeadedBastard · 09/09/2017 06:36

Let him get on with it. Maybe the inconvenience will stop him from being such a petty bastard in future.

ShreddieTuesday · 09/09/2017 06:45

Sounds like consideration is needed on both sides.

Ceto · 09/09/2017 06:47

YANBU. What a pillock.

valeinoyikbuno · 09/09/2017 06:49

Sounds like you need to actually talk to each other. Passive aggressive snideness really doesn't lead to harmonious flatmate friendships and you both sound as bad as each other. If you want the money saving of sharing a household rather than living solo there has to be consideration, communication, respect and kindness on both sides.

Shumpalumpa · 09/09/2017 06:53

YANBU.

daisychain01 · 09/09/2017 07:17

This is a small scale example of how Wars happen. Entrenched views, inability to bend and sway, wish to cause maximum damage on the other side, lack of willingness to communicate.

Result - both sides lose out because they would rather continue harming each other than try to meet half way.

lljkk · 09/09/2017 07:19

You need to take time to talk to each other about how to arrange things to help both of you. Find an hour to rearrange things together.

daisychain01 · 09/09/2017 07:22

Perhaps the initial wrong is on his side because he started it with the
PA nonsense, but try to stop it turning into a crisis by at least trying to resolve it. Otherwise it could 'sour' things to the point of no return.

SEmyarse · 09/09/2017 07:30

Why are you all implying its partly her fault?

Shes kept to the line and arranged things so she can actually get in her car. Seems quite reasonable to me. Of course shes got to get in her car and he created the line! She couldnt start piling boxes back in his side, coud she?

Hissy · 09/09/2017 07:34

You need to work on this together!

Original poster

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 07:36

Sadly, it is housemate's choice. Either to move the lawn mower etc over to his side a little thus allowing me to park further forward or not. I'm happy whichever way. The stuff he moved is for communal use - gardening, outdoor chairs and a spare fridge that only contains his beer atm. So in reality I have less personal space in the garage than he does.

I consider myself kind and considerate. Doing thoughtful things such as opening front door so housies don't need to get their keys out to come in, I do all the bins and put them out on rubbish day as I am home more often than them, wipe up any kitchen messes, empty the dishwasher, lots of little things here and there. I let them borrow stuff so they can save a dollar or two. And yes I do realise that I must do some things that annoy them ....I am not perfect like Mary Poppins....ha ha.

OP posts:

PurpleWithRed · 09/09/2017 07:40

Which of you is playing Trump and which playing Kim Jong Un? Briefly entertaining, we all enjoy a bit of passive-aggressive conflict, but is this the way you want your home life to be? I appreciate he started it but you've had your fun, time to get back to adulthood.

MrsJamesAspey · 09/09/2017 07:41

I flatshared for 7 years during my 20s with lots of different housemates, I had a rule that if something annoyed me don't mention it for a week, if it still annoyed me after that week then speak to the flat mate and sort it out. Most of the time I wouldn't even remember the annoyance a week later, so lots of arguments were avoided.

He's made he's own life more awkward so I'd leave him to it, and just have the satisfaction of knowing that each time you go into the garage.

Original poster

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 07:48

PurplewithRed - I love your analogy. (smile). Promise you though, that this will never go nuclear and we both have better hair styles.

OP posts:

Clutterbugsmum · 09/09/2017 07:56

The way I see it housemate parked purposely to inconvenience to the OP, then had a hissy fit and 'rearranged' the shared garage space again to inconvenience the OP.

All the OP has done is rearrange the 'stuff' in way that she can still use the garage to park her car, while NOT putting any of the communal stuff back where it was.

If the Housemate find now more awkward to do what he does in the garage then it's his own fault, HE needs to be more considerate, the OP doesn't need to keep putting up with it. I suspect this one of many things that the housemate has done to annoy the OP.

juneau · 09/09/2017 08:00

It's not up to you to mend this situation OP. Your housemate is an entitled, petty twat. He moved all the stuff and inconvenienced you, not the other way around. I'd let him stew tbh. Maybe he'll learn a lesson to not be such a dick in future .... or maybe he won't.

ZenNudist · 09/09/2017 08:02

If hes not said anything id just leave it.

Not great to block the door but if he doesnt want any of the communal stuff on his side and thats the only way you can get your car in then youve no choice.

GloriousGoosebumps · 09/09/2017 08:05

Let him stew in an inconvenience of his own making for a few days. He needs to learn that things work better if there is a little give and take on all sides.

FrancisCrawford · 09/09/2017 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddielizzard · 09/09/2017 08:28

did something happen prior to this that made him such a petty dick?

Original poster

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 09:00

This behaviour is out of character although he has only lived here for 10 or 11 weeks. I can't think of anything that has been said or done previously that would cause him to feel like retaliating. Thought we all got on really well. He doesn't know that I know that he smokes in his bedroom. The ensuite extractor fan running a lot is a dead give-a-way! (not stupid as he thinks I am)

The only reason I can presume is stress. Last week the silly bugger went to court and his license was cancelled for a few years. He has not been to work for 2 weeks...could catch the train.

OP posts:

TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 09/09/2017 09:24

Is he thinking it's unfair that you get to park your car in the garage and he isn't able to park his bikes there or something?

Original poster

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 09:31

It is a double garage. Fits his 3 x motor cycles and 2 x bicycles plus sundry tool boxes in one half with my car, fridge and gardening stuff in other half. He parks his car outside the garage on 'his' side of driveway.

Third housemate relies on public transport (and me sometimes).

OP posts:

FortunatelyUnfortunately · 09/09/2017 09:45

YABU. Life's too short for this kind of shit. Stop this childish PA behaviour (both of you) and talk to each other to work out a solution.

Witchend · 09/09/2017 09:48

Go and talk to him.

It's more than possible that either he did both these things thinking about convenience for himself and nothing about you, or you did something to him that he has taken offense to.

If you don't talk then things will get worse. remembers friends who lodged together falling permanently out about lasagne

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