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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Deary me. Housemate didn't think this through.

64 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 06:33

A couple of days ago flatmate parked 1 of his 3 motorcycles blocking the garage door so I couldn't get my car out. There is about 5 other spaces in and around the front garden where it could have been parked, or even in his side of the double garage.

I went to go out at 10.30am, found driveway blocked. Knocked 3 times on his bedroom door before a grizzly housemate opened it and went to move his bike.

Later, at 4.30 ish, he asked me to move my car out of the garage as he wanted to tidy the garage. No problem and thought he planned to re-organise his bikes and tools. But he re-arranged the lawn mower, gardening tools plus a couple of boxes so nothing was even an inch over his side. Not much was on his side to begin with as it was mostly on my side and in front on my car. My personal boxes were moved across to the garage side wall. My car still fitted on my side, though I wouldn't have been able to open the car door.

So I re-arranged everything again so I could park in the garage and still not have anything over the 'line'.

Silly thing is .... the way it was stored, before he passive aggressively re-arranged was more convenient for him. Now I can only drive my car in far enough for the door to close which prevents housemate from working on his bikes as easily and with the security he desired. (He has lost the 2 foot gap behind my car to get to the power point and internal access door - which is one the side wall beside my car)

Sorry everyone, this got rather long. So AIBU to NOT offer to move everything back the way it was OR wait until he asks? I know he is pissed out with this situation.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 09:50

He brought this on himself. Let him stew until he politely asks you if the stuff can be moved so he can access the power etc.

I think this stupid git is going to be the source of many issues. I'd be looking at your contracts to see if you can ask him to leave if he is a difficult twat to live with.

Largebucket · 09/09/2017 09:54

So he effectively wanted half the garage for his exclusive use, half the drive for his exclusive use then "your" half to hold the communal equipment and "your" side of the driveway to site his bike.

If you talk to him about this do you think he will be reasonable? From the outside it seems obvious he's being selfish about space so I'm not sure he's going to be particularly receptive to discussion.

TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 09/09/2017 09:55

Ah ok. I thought he'd maybe parked across the garage because he was hacked off he couldn't park there himself but that obviously isn't the case. Why does he have three motorbikes?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 09:57

Why would you tell the OP to go & talk to him?

He chucked a tanty because she asked him to move his bike from in front of the garage so she could get her car out. He had room in the garage for all of his bikes, it shouldn't have even been parked there, so he definitely shouldn't have been a grumpy arse when he was asked to move it, let alone throw a tantrum and move the communal stuff ALL to her side.

He moved the stuff over in a way that meant she couldn't park her car in the garage & so she then had to move all the communal stuff & her stuff around so she could park in her side of the garage.

...and yet some of you think SHE is being petty & needs to talk to him?

Give me strength.

CurryInAHurry · 09/09/2017 10:03

Say "did you have a problem with me asking you to move your bike the other morning?"

FortunatelyUnfortunately · 09/09/2017 10:11

AnnieAnoniMouse because it is the adult, logical and polite thing to do and the quickest way to an amicable solution.

Fairenuff · 09/09/2017 10:20

I wouldn't say anything. Sulking is manipulative behaviour and the sooner he realises that isn't going to get the reaction he wants, the sooner he will stop it and talk to you like an adult.

Shumpalumpa · 09/09/2017 10:24

Doing thoughtful things such as opening front door so housies don't need to get their keys out to come in, I do all the bins and put them out on rubbish day as I am home more often than them, wipe up any kitchen messes, empty the dishwasher, lots of little things here and there. I let them borrow stuff so they can save a dollar or two.

You're doing too much so people take the piss. Please stop. They are perfectly capable of getting their keys out, taking out the rubbish on a rota, wiping their mess, emptying the dishwasher sbd buying thrir oen things.

sonjadog · 09/09/2017 10:28

I wouldn´t say anything. I´d just go about my business being sunny tempered and in good cheer and let him stew. And then when he wants to talk about it, I´d be available to chat. But I wouldn´t make the first contact. He created this situation - he can make steps to sort it out.

I think small situations like these are what forms the relationship between people in a house. If you sort it out for him, then you become the person who can be inconvenienced and will take responsibility for fixing things. Or you can be the person who they have to consider and who expects them to step up.

Witchend · 09/09/2017 10:30

AnnieAnoniMouse because it is the adult, logical and polite thing to do and the quickest way to an amicable solution

And also because we are getting her side only and it's just as likely that she did something he feels aggrieved about first.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 09/09/2017 11:03

OP, leave it.

Let him calm down and let the tiff breeze over.

I'm sure he'll come in a couple of days and ask to move it back.

Either way, it doesn't affect you so let him get on with it.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 09/09/2017 11:05

OP, leave it.

Let him calm down and let the tiff breeze over.

I'm sure he'll come in a couple of days and ask to move it back.

Either way, it doesn't affect you so let him get on with it.

ijustwannadance · 09/09/2017 11:28

He moved fridge to your side, drink his beer!
Seriously though, i'd just leave it.
He is clearly sulking due to him losing his licence (bad driving?)
He is also an idiot for not going to bloody work. If he can't pay rent he will need to move out anyway.

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 11:56

Whoops. I didn't think it through either.

Just realised on reading ijustwannadance's post that we don't have access to open the fridge now. Housemate didn't move the fridge at all but in my haste I placed items in front of it.

Maybe there is a way around the fridge problem but it can wait until tomorrow. It is Saturday night here and a friend and I are enjoying a wine. Friend came up with an evil plan if I ever need to make a point/retaliate.

OP posts:
EggysMom · 09/09/2017 12:08

If the fridge only contains his beer, I'd move the fridge back to his side!

Original poster
MrsCrabbyTree · 09/09/2017 12:15

Fridge requires electricity and power point is on my side of garage. And it is convenient to have it where it is when having friends over for a BBQ. Roll on Spring and Summer.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 09/09/2017 12:15

Much as i love the time honoured AIBU tradition of giving the OP a pasting, I am struggling to see what she has done wrong here. How is she being U or PA? Confused

abigailgabble · 09/09/2017 23:13

YABU to park a car in a garage.

he sounds like a petty twat though so i'd leave him to his own mess.

TitaniasCloset · 09/09/2017 23:39

He sounds like a bit of a dickhead. What did he want you to do? Not go to work until he decided to get up and move his bike?

I think you are going to have problems with this one. Also if he hasn't been to work how is he planning to pay his rent?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/09/2017 12:48

FortunatelyUnfortunately
because it is the adult, logical and polite thing to do and the quickest way to an amicable solution

The OP doesn't need a 'solution'. HE created a problem for her, she fixed it, whilst keeping ALL of the communal stuff on her side, giving her less room. If HE now requires something to be moved HE needs to ask nicely. She does not need to be running around fixing this for HIM.

Not that it would be any more acceptable to me, but she's not even his wife & yet you still want her to be sorting things out for the bloke causing the problem

OP don't move the boxes/fridge etc until he asks nicely. He can stew in his own tantrummy stupidity until then.

Jaxhog · 10/09/2017 17:51

Competitive tidying! Whatever next?

Italiangreyhound · 10/09/2017 18:20

YANBU. Wait until he asks.

FortunatelyUnfortunately "Stop this childish PA behaviour (both of you)" He rearranged things first not the OP.

Italiangreyhound · 10/09/2017 18:22

PS although in the long run I agree with Witchend "Go and talk to him."

I'd try and work it out for comfort for you.

Mazzystarlett · 10/09/2017 18:26

I would suggest peace talks with beer?

KnowsStuff · 10/09/2017 18:29

I think approach him making a joke out of the ridiculousness of the situation and how you are concerned he no longer has enough space so lets move the stuff back how it was together?