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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at DH?

71 replies

Meowstro · 06/07/2017 10:25

This morning I came down stairs to cook breakfast, was in a really good mood despite lack of sleep and thought I'd cook for DH before he goes off to work. I find him on the sofa, startled, with his trousers undone and holding his phone. He looks a bit embarrassed so I assume he's watching porn which we are agreed we are fine with. As I'm heavily pregnant, really uncomfortable at the moment and don't have an issue with him watching porn, I tell him to carry on and I'd get out of his way whilst he does what he needs to because soon he'll be losing his ability to do that openly.

I go upstairs and watched a bit of a TV show. When next I look at the clock, I realise he's gone off to work without so much as a goodbye!? He had a whole 40 minutes before he needed to leave for work when I caught him.

AIBU to be pissed off and to bring it up when he gets home? I can't work out if it's my hormones and I'm overreacting or it's genuinely rude of him to just sod off like that after I've given him that space?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 06/07/2017 10:28

The guys prob embarrassed!
If the porn thing isn't an issue to you, then I wouldn't take it personally. Most likely he just legged it as he was mortified.

ChildishGambino · 06/07/2017 10:31

Yeah he's probably just feeling a bit shit

DandySeaLioness · 06/07/2017 10:38

He's embarrassed OP, if you're ok with him watching porn then just leave it be, no point embarrassing him even further. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy & the delivery Smile

Underthemoonlight · 06/07/2017 10:40

Well he's shot himself in the foot their as he missed out on his cooked breakfast 😂

Original poster
Meowstro · 06/07/2017 11:03

I can see how he may have been embarrassed but I've caught him a couple of times before and we've not made an issue out of it. I just felt he could have at least called out he was leaving whilst walking out the door. Somehow I feel like it was a huge sign of disrespect but accept I may be overreacting.

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 06/07/2017 11:08

On the sofa is grim. .

Bathroom with door closed /locked if he wants privacy. .
He is free to do it but surely you can expect to be able to make food without the risk of his knob putting you off your sausages!!??

Batteriesallgone · 06/07/2017 11:12

When you say you went upstairs do you mean to your bedroom? Did he think you'd gone back to sleep?

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 06/07/2017 11:15

Er, he sounds disgusting. Can't believe you're bringing kids into that house.

Pengggwn · 06/07/2017 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissionItsPossible · 06/07/2017 11:19

Iwasjustabouttosaythat what an outrageous and nasty thing to say

Northernparent68 · 06/07/2017 11:20

Iwas, what's disgusting about this situation ?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 06/07/2017 11:22

Iwasjustabouttosaythat What on earth are you talking about?

leighdinglady · 06/07/2017 11:22

iwasjustabout what on earth is disgusting about masterbating? I hope you don't bring up in such a judgemental, body shaming way. It's just two adults in the house

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 06/07/2017 11:28

yanbu to be upset OP, I would be too. It doesn't feel right if I leave or my DP leaves the other at home without a kiss goodbye, it just seems.. rude really. That being said, he was probably cringing like fuck and scuttled off with his tail between his legs. Plus like a PP says, he could have assumed you were asleep. On balance, I probably wouldn't really make an issue of it, but I might mention that it hurt my feelings that he just left. Maybe.

Goingtobeawesome · 06/07/2017 11:37

Text him that you were disappointed/upset/whatever emotion it was that he left without saying goodbye. Hopefully he'll reply nicely then it can be done with. He'll come home and then you can talk about appropriate places to wank if you feel you need too.

Original poster
Meowstro · 06/07/2017 11:41

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Not sure what you're referring to as disgusting but don't care either way, it's the two of us and I've stated it'll change when dc comes along. Masturbation isn't illegal, last time I checked. I can't believe how much you reek of repression.

Justhadmyhaircut Didn't really see anything but, now you say, I haven't been able to bring myself to get the sausages out Grin

Sure, the sofa isn't ideal and I'd prefer the bathroom but I usually rush in first thing with my full bladder so maybe that's why he was on the sofa.

OP posts:
PinkHeart5911 · 06/07/2017 11:43

Er, he sounds disgusting. Can't believe you're bringing kids into that house

Wtf? So he has a wank? Why does that mean he shouldn't have a child? Confused

I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it on the sofa personally, not everyone wants to be locked in a bathroom looking at a toilet having a wank.

OP I'd see no need to mention it when he got home tbh, more than likely he was just embarrassed. I'd give it no more thought

SaltySalt · 06/07/2017 11:43

iwas

Everyone's a wanker Wink

EssentialHummus · 06/07/2017 11:59

I'd personally not want to see him at it (I'd expect him to be in some other part of the house if we were both home) but otherwise what PP said - he was embarrassed, is all.

Original poster
Meowstro · 06/07/2017 12:07

EverythingEverywhere1234, I think that's it really. My family try to avoid leaving the house on a bad note as you never know what could happen, that means at least saying goodbye and keep safe whilst meaning it. He says goodbye whenever he's leaving first or at the same time and will always come upstairs to do so too.

Definitely knew I wasn't going back to sleep as I said I'd come down to make breakfast but I'd give him time and I apologised. Not sure why I was apologising though and maybe that's part of why I'm pissed off when he didn't say goodbye, maybe I'm annoyed at myself too 😂

OP posts:
Billben · 06/07/2017 12:15

Er, he sounds disgusting. Can't believe you're bringing kids into that house.

Oh, give over.

lanouvelleheloise · 06/07/2017 12:17

I know what you mean - I would be really upset if DH left without telling me in the morning. It's one of those basic courtesies that is just the rule in our house. I think he probably was embarrassed, but I would mention it (gently) anyway.

LadyPenelope67 · 06/07/2017 12:22

surely you can expect to be able to make food without the risk of his knob putting you off your sausages!!??

Actual pmsl here 😂😂😂

BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 12:23

This is an interesting thread Grin

I tell him to carry on and I'd get out of his way Don't know why but that made me snort. It's very accommodating of you, but you probably broke the mood so he couldn't just 'carry on' - it's not like walking in on somebody having a poo is it?

He probably scuttled off to work all embarrassed and is hoping you'll forget about it by tonight.

Chickenagain · 06/07/2017 12:36

Sorry, but I think wanking on the sofa to internet porn is bloody grim, a quickie just before he pops off to work. Nothing at all against masturbation, but bloody hell - there is a time & a place. What next? On the bus? Bet he didn't wash his hands after either. Just yuk!

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