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AIBU?

To be pissed off at DH?

71 replies

Meowstro · 06/07/2017 10:25

This morning I came down stairs to cook breakfast, was in a really good mood despite lack of sleep and thought I'd cook for DH before he goes off to work. I find him on the sofa, startled, with his trousers undone and holding his phone. He looks a bit embarrassed so I assume he's watching porn which we are agreed we are fine with. As I'm heavily pregnant, really uncomfortable at the moment and don't have an issue with him watching porn, I tell him to carry on and I'd get out of his way whilst he does what he needs to because soon he'll be losing his ability to do that openly.

I go upstairs and watched a bit of a TV show. When next I look at the clock, I realise he's gone off to work without so much as a goodbye!? He had a whole 40 minutes before he needed to leave for work when I caught him.

AIBU to be pissed off and to bring it up when he gets home? I can't work out if it's my hormones and I'm overreacting or it's genuinely rude of him to just sod off like that after I've given him that space?

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SomeKnobend · 06/07/2017 12:47

Was it porn or was he messaging an OW - hence the sheepish scuttling off and embarrassment? Disclaimer: I always think OW.

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BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 12:51

Blimey that's quite an assumption to make some!

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wheresthel1ght · 06/07/2017 12:58

Maybe he took your retreat as a sign you were cross and he has gone to work rather than have a row and decided discussing it after work was a better option?

I do think k you are overreacting a little. I left without saying goodbye to dp cos he had wound me up by getting under my feet when he could see i was trying to get sorted

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Joey7t8 · 06/07/2017 13:07

It's embarrassing being caught wanking, even though it's a natural thing that we all do. That's almost certainly the reason he scuttled off with saying bye.

Can't see a problem with him doing it on the sofa either provided he doesn't make a mess of the upholstery. Far more comfortable than a toilet seat.

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BabyLlama · 06/07/2017 13:12

Iwas what a ridiculous and offensive comment!! What a shock that a man has a tug on his joystick now and again. Next you'll be saying that a couple actually has sex to conceive a child, or that they have sex when they already have a child/children. Is that disgusting too? Get a grip

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Thephoneywar · 06/07/2017 13:14

What's wrong with doing it on the sofa. I've done it on my sofa, we also have sex on our sofa.

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Meowstro · 06/07/2017 13:18

Chickenagain Always fun when the prudes come out of the woodwork. Is it the sofa that bothers you or the porn? Of course he'd wash his hands it'd take a special kind of weirdo not to but make you feel better, he always uses tissues

SomeKnobend I'm pretty sure it was porn, by the angle he was holding the phone, he was watching a video and I trust it's not another woman. Nonetheless, maybe best not to throw that out there if you always think it as default?

wheresthel1ghtp My usual reaction is to leave him to it and I think I chuckled too so he'd know I wasn't mad. I think I've resigned myself to the fact he was probably embarrassed though.

OP posts:

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Meowstro · 06/07/2017 13:23

Thephoneywar I'm not sure I've lots of sex on my sofa too. Tbf, I think if he knew I were home, the bathroom would be fair but home alone, I think more people masturbate on the sofa than admit to.

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Joey7t8 · 06/07/2017 13:31

Nothing at all against masturbation, but bloody hell - there is a time & a place. What next? On the bus?

What's the problem with an early morning wank? And there's a big difference to doing it in the privacy of your own lounge to the bus!

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blackteasplease · 06/07/2017 13:32

I think he should it in the bathroom or in the bedroom is OK if you are out.

Masterbating on the sofa when you might walk in is gross.

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BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 13:45

I think he should it in the bathroom or in the bedroom is OK if you are out

So why just the bedroom? Is the sofa not ok if OP is out? Or the kitchen? And how is having a quick one on the sofa the same as on the bus? I've shagged on the sofa/on a dining room chair/on the conservatory floor and in the summer house down the bottom of the garden (get me!), but every one of those places is private, unlike a bus. I'm confused about wanking rules, obviously!

The point is, OP clearly doesn't mind her DH having a quick tug so that's not the issue, and no amount of pearl-clutching is going to change that

Loving this thread though

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RiverTam · 06/07/2017 13:49

Justhadmyhaircut why on earth should he have to wank in the bathroom? I don't wank in the bathroom and I'd be pissed off if I was told to do so.

My guess is that, as the OP says she didn't get much sleep, he thought she'd be having a lie in so the sofa would be private (better than wanking in bed next to her, surely?). And then he got embarrassed.

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Tippexy · 06/07/2017 13:49

Well, I'd divorce him for supporting the porn industry and seeing nothing wrong with the way women are treated as objects but I'm obviously not a "cool wife" like everyone on this thread.

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RiverTam · 06/07/2017 13:53

Tippexy the OP addressed that point in her OP. This isn't about their views on porn. I don't like porn either, but that's not the main thrust, as it were, of her AIBU.

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BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 13:54

Well, I'd divorce him for supporting the porn industry and seeing nothing wrong with the way women are treated as objects but I'm obviously not a "cool wife" like everyone on this thread

I'm not a 'cool wife' and actually I hate that term - it's ridiculously catty.

And anyway maybe he was wanking over a photo of his wife - how do you know he was 'supporting the porn industry'?

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Adamadamant · 06/07/2017 13:54

So not only do you let your husband watch porn but, while heavily pregnant and lacking sleep, you cook him breakfast before he goes to work. Not only should he have said goodbye to you but also he should be letting you know that he's the luckiest guy in the world!

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BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 14:18

But Adam maybe her DH lets her watch porn too, cooks her breakfast and lets her have a lie in when he's not at work, and also tells her he's the luckiest guy in the world

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Meowstro · 06/07/2017 20:48

BadTasteFlump Exactly that. I'm not just here waiting on my DH hand and foot whilst he wanks off everywhere

Tippexy In actual fact we don't support conventional mainstream porn but that's a whole other thread on how ethical porn can be. What works for your relationship and what you accept is clearly different from me.

So DH came home and I casually said I'd missed him say goodbye. Apparently he was shouting for a while but had to go so it was me in a hormonal pissy mood it seems.

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BadTasteFlump · 06/07/2017 20:52

I'm not just here waiting on my DH hand and foot whilst he wanks off everywhere

I just spat my tea out reading that line. Has to be my favourite use of the hmm face ever

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Brittbugs80 · 06/07/2017 21:20

**Er, he sounds disgusting. Can't believe you're bringing kids into that house

Maybe you should have been a wank?!

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Brittbugs80 · 06/07/2017 21:22

And anyway maybe he was wanking over a photo of his wife - how do you know he was 'supporting the porn industry

Or using shark videos. Like Chandler did in Friends

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youaredeluded · 06/07/2017 21:56

Probably paying some woman online for videochat. Poor baby and poor you. Sounds grim as fuck.

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RiverTam · 06/07/2017 22:06

What the fuck, deluded??

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QuimJongUn · 06/07/2017 22:07

Well, I'd divorce him for supporting the porn industry and seeing nothing wrong with the way women are treated as objects but I'm obviously not a "cool wife" like everyone on this thread

Clearly I'm seriously uncool too

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SloeGinRocks · 06/07/2017 22:13

Ok have to ask now sorry...but do none of your DH's not wank in front of you ever? When you don't want to have sex for e.g.?

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