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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked with your children - how old is too old....

101 replies

AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 19:31

Quite often we all sleep naked in our house and we are pretty relaxed about talking to each other whilst one is in the bath etc or walking from bathroom to bedroom naked i.e. we're not naked all the time by any means but don't go out of way not to be or never allow the children to see us naked - this is our normal, we're comfortable with our bodies etc. My Ds's 4 and 6, also quite often will sleep in our bed or one of us will lay with them (they have double beds) if they wake in the night etc. Ds's are very aware that privacy etc if with other people and privacy of their own bodies etc. DS1 happened to mention he'd seen mummy naked to one of his teachers today, and though she wasn't overly bothered, she did mention it to me as if I should start to avoid this scenario.... so that is my question really really is 6 too old for my son to see me naked?! AIBU to think its fine?

OP posts:
DaisyDando · 04/07/2017 20:22

My 2 year old DS told me to put some clothes on this morning.
You might be reading too much into the teacher's comment.

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:22

Nina, I was bf my four year old 9mths ago and my 6yr old 2 years ago.... when did I cross into weird, my body wasn't sexual or weird then, it was nurturing and nourishing, when did this weird line appear that I've mysteriously crossed...

OP posts:
PurplePeppers · 04/07/2017 20:23

I followed what my dcs felt about it. At 6 and 8yo, they could care less.
They started to be more 'private' (both about their own bodies and seeing us, well rather me, I think they still don't care about seeing DH naked) around 10~11yo.

I would probably be more uncomfortable about sleeping naked with a child. That feels more 'wrong' to me. Maybe because of the potential for abuse (NOT saying this would be the case for you!!!). But you can see this would happen and how this could be misinterpretated.

PurplePeppers · 04/07/2017 20:24

Sorry it should have been
At 6 and 8yo they could NOT care less about me being naked.

Natsku · 04/07/2017 20:26

I'm still comfortable being naked with my mum (when she visits we go to sauna together) but there was a period of time, from about 10ish until early 20s when I wasn't comfortable with it so we didn't go to sauna together then. 10ish was also when I stopped being comfortable seeing dad naked and certainly wouldn't be comfortable with it now so I think gender does make a difference.

Sophiealice95 · 04/07/2017 20:28

Yes, we always call it nakky (pronouced as Shaky ) one mans meat .....
pun intended !

SloeGinRocks · 04/07/2017 20:28

We are very naked in this house.
Me, DH & DCs 5 & almost 8.
Grandparents are pretty makes too on DHs side. I would say my parents have become a little more modest as they've got older (in their 70's) but I remember both my parents being naked when I was a kid at home.
Our kids love it if we get in the bath with them. I tend not to do this much anymore as it's not very comfortable now they are bigger.
I must add that we would never be naked in front of anyone outside the immediate family and I wouldn't be naked in front of in-laws - because that would be odd! They are pretty eccentric though so when MIL runs around when she gets out the bath or leaves the door open I just take no notice.
I fully expect my kids to become a bit more prudish at some stage and that's fine too.
I would get pretty cross if a teacher criticised the fact that I am naked in my home sometimes! Hmm

Sophiealice95 · 04/07/2017 20:30

I also BF both my dds so I am wondering if there is a link? They also slept with us till they were about 4 , we all loved it because we all had a good nights sleep !

Natsku · 04/07/2017 20:31

I've been naked with my ex-MIL and other members of my ex's family! But that's sauna culture for you.

misit · 04/07/2017 20:31

My DM would slap my legs if I wasn't sitting in a ladylike manner. She told me that my DF had never seen her naked, women had to preserve their mystery.

Needless to say I grew up very repressed and have passed that onto my DD without even trying. Oh dear.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 04/07/2017 20:31

I honestly can't remember when it stopped. Probably around the age of 8 or 9 (2 sons and I'm a single mother). I think it was just a natural change towards being more 'clothed' (i.e. underwear) around the house at some point.

My boys never saw anything odd about seeing me naked or me seeing them naked. Well, apart from one occasion when I was pregnant with my second son and I shared a bath with DS1 (he was nearly 3). I was very small breasted but with my second pregnancy I seemed to go up 3 cup sizes overnight. I stripped off to get in the bath with him and he suddenly pointed at me and said "What are those ?!" pointing at my chesticles with a look of shock and awe Grin

ellenripleysbiceps · 04/07/2017 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 04/07/2017 20:32

DD at 8 loves being naked and couldn't care less if i have clothes on or not but DS has never liked being naked and started asking me to put clothes on when he was about 3 so I don't wander round naked often (only if he's out) I sleep naked but DS knocks before coming in, not that he comes in often, 13 is apparently too grown up to cuddle Sad

TheSeaTheSkyTheSeaTheSkyyyyyy · 04/07/2017 20:32

As above, go with their lead. It will be VERY obvious when they're no longer comfortable with you seeing them naked.

For me it was definitely older than 6.

Sophiealice95 · 04/07/2017 20:32

Oh yes my dm is 85 and still goes around nakky doesn't bother us because it is the norm for our family. Probably where it all stems from .

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:33

Sophie that's sort of what I meant, for me that feels like 2seconds ago, I'm surprised I've gone from being a nurturing parent to 'weird' so quickly in some people's views.

OP posts:
SloeGinRocks · 04/07/2017 20:34

pretty naked bloody phone

Crumbs1 · 04/07/2017 20:35

Sorry off at a tangent to dispel notion of mansion. Wing sounds a bit grand but isn't. It's because the house has three separate parts - an 12th century part (cottage, rear of house, low ceilings, staircase to our rooms), the largest 17th century extension where most of the children still have rooms accessed by a separate main staircase) and a very modern oak framed and glass add on that we added to give additional bedroom/bathroom space for other children and guest room plus music room and my office.

Marmalady75 · 04/07/2017 20:36

The teacher may have been trying to give you a heads up in case other children told their parents and someone made a joke/comment. I did this recently when a child in my class was telling everyone that his parents had got back together and were trying to make a baby. I have a good relationship with the mum and thought she would rather know. The mum just laughed and said she was doing a test in the next day or two and that no doubt I'd hear about how it went.

SloeGinRocks · 04/07/2017 20:37

ellenripplybiceps THAT is hilarious XX

Sophiealice95 · 04/07/2017 20:37

AnotherDime you are not weird at all. You are perfectly normal for you and your family. I think it's lovely and you enjoy your family in the way you want to . The older I get the more I think go by your gut instincts.

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:37

Marmalady that's what dh thinks, we've never had a problem with his teacher and really like her.

OP posts:
PollyPerky · 04/07/2017 20:38

we really needed to know that crumbs Confused

twelly · 04/07/2017 20:41

Any age is fine , it depends on the family. I do not think it was right of the teacher to infer it was scenario that should be avoided , it is nothing to do with her

twelly · 04/07/2017 20:42

Any age is fine , it depends on the family. I do not think it was right of the teacher to infer it was scenario that should be avoided , it is nothing to do with her