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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked with your children - how old is too old....

101 replies

AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 19:31

Quite often we all sleep naked in our house and we are pretty relaxed about talking to each other whilst one is in the bath etc or walking from bathroom to bedroom naked i.e. we're not naked all the time by any means but don't go out of way not to be or never allow the children to see us naked - this is our normal, we're comfortable with our bodies etc. My Ds's 4 and 6, also quite often will sleep in our bed or one of us will lay with them (they have double beds) if they wake in the night etc. Ds's are very aware that privacy etc if with other people and privacy of their own bodies etc. DS1 happened to mention he'd seen mummy naked to one of his teachers today, and though she wasn't overly bothered, she did mention it to me as if I should start to avoid this scenario.... so that is my question really really is 6 too old for my son to see me naked?! AIBU to think its fine?

OP posts:
Countrygirl38 · 04/07/2017 20:00

Not true that kids are always embarassed. I was never embarrassed about seeing my parents naked even as a teen or young adult.

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:01

Teacher said they were just talking about different bodies and he said mummy's had a scar on her tummy, another child said do you see your mum with no clothes on he'd said yes. That was it, dh reckons she told me to let me know other children (and hence parents) would know I had scar. I'm genuinely interested why the sleep thing is seen so differently... again we don't sleep naked all time, but if the children clambour into bed I don't jump up and put clothes on. Incidentally they both slept with us (as we're bf) until they were two and half/three-ish. For my youngest he only moved out 9mths ago.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 04/07/2017 20:01

If it's not a big deal. If you just get ready in the morning, or up during the night, dressed as you chose and interact naturally with your children in an manner which is relaxed and respectful of each other's own desire for privacy then no one gives a shit.

turbohamster · 04/07/2017 20:02

I never grew out of it. Not parading round but we slept naked, I shared a bedroom with my sister and had only one bathroom between 5 so it was practicality as much as anything. Even now if I am sharing a room I wouldn't be fussed about changing in front of them.

Serialweightwatcher · 04/07/2017 20:04

For me personally I haven't let my two boys see me naked since the eldest when 4 told me "mummy you've got LONG boobies" Sad

Pagwatch · 04/07/2017 20:04

My children are 24, 20 and 14.

They chose when they wish to be private and they decide if they want to knock before coming in our room etc

If you have a class of children talking about 'those parents' it's because you actually have some weird, prissy, gossipy parents in the class.

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:04

I genuinely don't think my son (either of them!) is bothered at all.

OP posts:
NachoAddict · 04/07/2017 20:04

My children see me naked, come into the bathroom while I am in there, will talk to me in my room while I am getting dressed, applying suncream on holiday etc.
Ds 1, 12 tends to cover up more and change in private.
DD, 9 is much more private and doesn't let her brothers see her naked but doesn't mind me being in the bathroom helping with her hair or whatever.
DS 2, 4 is almost always naked if I don't expressly tell him to get dressed and thinks nothing of it. He is boob obsessed though so I tend to cover up more in front of him.

caffelatte100 · 04/07/2017 20:04

I think you are doing fine as you are... carry on!

The teacher should not have talked to you about this, I don't think that it's their business at all and so it was inappropriate.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 04/07/2017 20:05

I never saw my parents naked and I didn't grow up prudish. I don't sleep in the nude so its not an issue but im a private dresser and a private toilet user in this house. However of someone was to walk in that's not an issue. They just know i prefer they don't.

alpacasandwich · 04/07/2017 20:07

When they ask you to stop.

I grew up a shy child in a naked house, it was excruciating. I don't want to be confronted with breasts and penises when I'm trying to walk around my own home.

Pagwatch · 04/07/2017 20:08

SnipSnip

That's exactly it. If communication is good, if people are sensitive to each other, it's just very natural to treat each other according to how they wish

Natsku · 04/07/2017 20:08

Its no big deal, just follow their lead so if they start to get uncomfortable then cover up.

DD is 6 and has no problems with seeing me naked. We shower together (open shower in the wet room so we take turns going under the water while the other lathers up etc. She doesn't want to shower alone yet as the shower is in the basement so its a bit lonely for her) and OH joins us in the sauna (quite often just he and DD goes to sauna because they go more often than I do). I don't expect her to be bothered about it for a few years yet.

Plus the town swimming pool is mandatory naked showering (no cubicles) so she's never going to escape the nakedness at any age really!

drummergirl34 · 04/07/2017 20:11

i agree with jennifer - I was just about to write the same - the teacher really doesn't have a point and it's them being unreasonable. Though... it's worth pointing out, the teacher could now initiate some staffroom chat about you being naked around kids etc and imply abuse. Depending on their standing, the other teachers will probably ignore it.

Don't know what to suggest really. (I'm also a teacher)

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 20:11

Natsku that's how I feel, when they get uncomfortable we'll change, we're a very open, communicative family - I've no doubt they'll tell/show me the moment their feelings change.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 04/07/2017 20:13

The thing is kids don't often ask them to stop or the parents don't listen or take it seriously when they do. Then kids get issues with nudity growing up because they were confronted by bits they felt were private.

We all knew kids who's parents wandered around naked at home. Not s single one of them ever thought it was remotely ok, irrelevant of what their parents thought. Not a one.

islandsandshores · 04/07/2017 20:14

Best avoided when school age, I think.

S0ph1a · 04/07/2017 20:15

I wish I had my Own Wing and Own Stair

< misses point of thread >

Sophiealice95 · 04/07/2017 20:15

I have always been nakky with my dds and my dh
I don't know if I would have been different with sons
I would hope not
on the other hand my DH has never been nakky with our dds
so is this a gender thing or just personal choice?
I think we go by our gut instinct and fwiw I feel the teacher should mind her business she sounds judgemental to me

WifeofUthred · 04/07/2017 20:16

Well I'm 36 and my mum still walks around naked in front of me. I don't remember a time when she didn't. We were quite a naked house.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:17

Hmmm. I know which parents I think are "weird" - as in well weird.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:18

I can see why the teacher might raise the issue, frankly.

WifeofUthred · 04/07/2017 20:20

Why Nina? What is so weird about the human body?

AllJack · 04/07/2017 20:21

Nakky?

But as above, go with their lead.

MavisFlumpTheFairy · 04/07/2017 20:21

I grew up in a house where nudity was frowned upon from a very early age; I first saw a naked body other than my own when I started nursing at 18!
With my DCs I don't think they saw me naked after about 8 or 9, probably when they started preferring to cover up rather than run around naked. I think they chose to do so quite naturally, certainly it wasn't imposed by me or DH.
We never used the toilet if someone was in the bath, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to do so and definitely it isn't something DH and I do.