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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked with your children - how old is too old....

101 replies

AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 19:31

Quite often we all sleep naked in our house and we are pretty relaxed about talking to each other whilst one is in the bath etc or walking from bathroom to bedroom naked i.e. we're not naked all the time by any means but don't go out of way not to be or never allow the children to see us naked - this is our normal, we're comfortable with our bodies etc. My Ds's 4 and 6, also quite often will sleep in our bed or one of us will lay with them (they have double beds) if they wake in the night etc. Ds's are very aware that privacy etc if with other people and privacy of their own bodies etc. DS1 happened to mention he'd seen mummy naked to one of his teachers today, and though she wasn't overly bothered, she did mention it to me as if I should start to avoid this scenario.... so that is my question really really is 6 too old for my son to see me naked?! AIBU to think its fine?

OP posts:
nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:44

Re. the word "weird", you did notice I was quoting someone who had responded earlier? This someone thought anyone who did not approve of people not being dressed around children, was "weird"! So it's okay for some of you to use the word. Interesting...

Scoobydoobydont · 04/07/2017 20:46

I would probably be more uncomfortable about sleeping naked with a child. That feels more 'wrong' to me. Maybe because of the potential for abuse (NOT saying this would be the case for you!!!). But you can see this would happen and how this could be misinterpreted.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what is wrong with the world!!

Jesus Christ. If it comes out a parent sleeps naked (naturally) with their own child there will be people who think they are abusing them?

BarbarianMum · 04/07/2017 20:47

My initial plan was to take my lead from the kids but they are 11.5 and 9 and still no sign of embarrassment. If it goes on much longer I think I will start feeling the need to cover.

Kinderbonbon · 04/07/2017 20:47

I'm still walking naked and my kids are 13 and 10 and walking around us naked. My mum is 63 years old and I still go talk to her when she is the bath !

nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:47

Today 20:38 PollyPerky

we really needed to know that crumbs confused

Indeed. Sounded like imagination overload... For a minute I thought I had inadvertently wandered into Mumsnet Interiors!

donajimena · 04/07/2017 20:54

crumbs that still sounds palatial to me! Can you invite me to dinner please? Grin
Seriously your home sounds beautiful!

QueenOfTheSardines · 04/07/2017 20:54

We're a bit nudey and the kids are 10 and 8 and neither looking askance yet. I always knock before going into their rooms or when in bath and sometimes they are all shy and next minute bouncing around with their bums out. If they were uncomfy with us being in the nip we'd make an effort to wear nightclothes I suppose but they don't seem fussed.

I'm just not uncomfy with having my clothes off round them and that's a good message to give to girls I think? That natural women's bodies are fine and nothing to be ashamed of even in the 40s.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 04/07/2017 20:56

I'm quite happy being naked around the DC (6&7). I'd still share a bath if the DC weren't so gangly. We just don't fit any more.

I don't like it when one climbs into bed with us when i'm starkers though. I find that too hot and sticky and quite honestly very likely to have a DC inadvertently squash a nipple or boob. It hurts!

I have never seen my parents naked so I'm not sure where my lack of modesty comes from Grin. If they ever say they aren't comfortable I'll cover up.

lozzylizzy · 04/07/2017 20:57

I do walk around naked in front of the kids and sometimes share a bath with the little two but I would always sleep in knickers in case the kids want to get in bed with us. I don't see the problem with being topless with the younger two (if its hot) but I would generally wear a vest if I knew they were getting in bed if that makes sense

RhinestoneCowgirl · 04/07/2017 21:02

I think some families are just more naked than others.

Was talking to SIL and she said she'd never seen her parents naked. In my house it wasn't full on nudity but not always covering up either.

Mine DC are 8 and nearly 11 and I still wander out of the bathroom in the nip.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 04/07/2017 21:05

Indeed. Sounded like imagination overload... For a minute I thought I had inadvertently wandered into Mumsnet Interiors!

What do you mean "imagination overload"?

A few posters asked Crumbs to explain the earlier reference to a "wing" of their house so that's exactly what they did Confused

Liara · 04/07/2017 21:07

10 and 7 and they are both very comfortable with nudity (as are we).

When they're not, we'll stop.

HorridHenryrule · 04/07/2017 21:08

Your 4 year old moved out of your room 9 months ago I thought it was just me. I worry that I will turn my 2 year old son into a needy boy. I tend to over think things but its nice to read that I am not the only one. How easy was it to put him in his own room?

kaytee87 · 04/07/2017 21:11

It's fine as long as everyone involved is comfortable with it. Frankly it's none of the teachers business and I don't think she should have raised it.
We wander around naked a lot. My ds is only 11mo but I don't see us stopping this at some arbitrary age, just whenever there's a natural time that ds doesn't like it anymore.

HorridHenryrule · 04/07/2017 21:13

I stopped bf ages ago and he still wants to sleep with me its only now and then he will sleep in his bed. That is also in my room.

HorridHenryrule · 04/07/2017 21:15

Nudity is fine I have older children and if I'm on the toilet but naked I will not rush of and put clothes on mid pee if my children decides to burst in. I don't think my bladder will allow it so its up to them if they want to look. The human body is nothing to be ashamed about. They have never seen their dad naked and he would never like them to see.

Blatherskite · 04/07/2017 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AnotherDime · 04/07/2017 21:21

HorridHenry, both mine went into own rooms when they were ready, rooms were available but it was their choice, but it still is a rather 'flexible' arrangement!! Wink

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 04/07/2017 21:22

Ninab
You can say it was me that used weird
You don't have to be uptight about naming me

I think you are struggling to follow my point.

No one needs to be naked or dressed , it's personal choice and both are fine

The weird thing would be the ones who were so uptight about parents being naked around their own children that their children wander into school muttering about how odd nudity is.
It was your reference to 'those parents' I was referring to. The one where you tried to imply that anyone who was naked in front of their child risked being muttered about amongst school friends . I suspect it would only be a topic of conversation amongst the weird people who actively gossip about such things.

Being full dressed. Fine
Being naked . fine

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 07/07/2017 13:00

FYI, this thread has been lifted by the Fail.

"Would YOU let your child of six see you naked? Parents debate how old is too old (and some still strip off in front of their offspring in their 20s)

A mother-of-two took to Mumsnet to ask whether she was being 'unreasonable' to allow her six-year-old son to see her naked. The comment sparked a debate between parents"

ChasedByBees · 07/07/2017 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorksAkimbo72 · 07/07/2017 13:11

I was never concerned about being naked in front of my 2, until about a year ago when my DS was 10. I talked to him about it, and told him I didn't know why, but I felt a bit uncomfortable getting changed/being naked in front of him now he was a bit older. He shrugged and said, "Ok...I'll just make sure I knock before I come in." It hasn't been a big deal since. He is a nudist at heart...he doesn't give a toss about his privacy just yet, but he wasn't a bit put out that I felt a little uncomfortable. I didn't grow up in a naked household, so maybe my discomfort stems from that.

Pagwatch · 07/07/2017 15:24

The Daily Mail is so tragic.
A child walking into your bedroom when you happen to be naked becomes 'stripping off' . It's like their desperate use of 'flaunting' for a woman on a beach in her bikini Hmm

You wouldn't think their reporters would be squeamish about genitalia when they spend all day in close proximity to Paul Dacre, one of the worlds biggest cunts.

seventhgonickname · 07/07/2017 15:51

I'm naked around my dd,she likes her privacy but has started sleeping naked like me.She isn't bothered by me as she sits on my bed for a chat while I'm dressing,undressing.My body is no longer a thing of beauty but it is what it is and the nice thing about your naked skin is that it always fits even if it goes a little baggy in parts.

SafeToCross · 07/07/2017 16:09

I have two dds and I aim to cover up now when walking around the house, however if they come into my room and i am naked I don't make a big deal of it. DH, as they are dds, has tended to cover up more, but equally would get changed with them in the room if say they were in bed with me . I do think privacy and being clothed becomes more important at onset of puberty for most. Don't expect that they can voice discomfort either - .

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