To think people who have never been poor, really do not understand it

[brasty]

Just that really. Big difference between not having enough money to do what you would like to do, and going months and years where you constantly have to scrape just to get by. And the impact this has on you mentally.

YANBU but its all relative. I don't think (thankfully) anyone in the UK truly understands poverty.

I agree with you, but I think there have been a lot of threads about this recently so people are probably more aware than they were before IYSWIM

Well that's true, obviously.

It's true of many things, not just poverty.

Of course YANBU. But this applies to many many things tbh. People who have not been diagnosed with a terminal illness, or people who have not had a child, or people who have not experienced depression or bereavement etc. We can sympathise with people in these situations but not fully understand what it feels like because we haven't experienced it.

It's all relative. Scales of economy and all that. Homeless people might argue that those who scrimp and save to get by but do, in fact, get by, don't know how lucky they are.

I think you're right - and I'm someone who has never been really poor. I've lived frugally, I'm quite good at it, but I've always known where the next meal is coming from. And the next 3 months' worth of meals, bills etc. But I know I don't understand the mental strain, because I've never experienced it. And living on a tight (but doable) budget just isn't the same.

OP, were you thinking of how being in poverty affects other things? Could you give examples?

Yup, it's one of the reason wealthy socialists annoy me, it's easy to give money away and enjoy sharing when you have a lot. Love to see how they would cope if they had to give everything away.

I meant the mental strain and the sense of shame. It is why many middle class people will boast about shopping at charity shops, but really poor people are ashamed if they have to do the same.

Yup I agree with that also. It's easy to play at being poor. There's also a lot of stereotyping as well- poor thick as mince council estate types who are all racist etc etc

YANBU - I think you're right.

I've been unemployed, been on benefits, and have been in very low paid jobs, so although I'm well-paid now, I know what it's like to have no money. But I've always known that if I REALLY hit rock bottom - I.e. couldn't eat, was homeless etc, my parents could and would help me. I often wonder what it must be like not only to have very little money but to have no financial safety net at all, other than the ever-shrinking welfare state. It must be scary and cause a lot of anxiety.

I've got the song Common People in my head now.

True with loads of things, not just poverty.

Poverty tends to be seen as people not trying hard enough or making lazy lifestyle choices.
Disability, depending what type, tends to also be seen as not trying hard and making dubious lifestyle choices.

I think the lesson is that some people are twats.

Completely agree with you.

We had a few very bad years of very low income (income support and tax credits only income etc) when my dh became ill with depression and unable to work and at the same time we had a severely disabled child I had to care for so I couldn't work either. We had weeks where we really didn't know how we were going to eat - we had to ask dds school to help us with uniform costs and we couldn't afford to fix a problem with the lights in our house (mortgaged from when we had better income) so we had to go without lights upstairs for 3 years. We were unable to sell it either. Right mess.

During that time we had people come up with all kinds of nonsense. People think you can just somehow Magic up £20 here and there. When you're struggling even 10p counts!

It's true, but i wonder if as many as even 20% of people have the empathy or the inclination to truly understand something they have never experienced.

Can I give you this example? Ireland's new Taoiseach got up and made a speech about how his appointment ''proved'' that prejudice has no place in Ireland. He meant it, he believed it, he moved himself to tears. I feel less moved from my position on the live register. He may be gay and half indian but he came from a wealthy educated successful family and he's basically a tall young ish attractive ish clever very well educated ambitious male who is only slightly not white and yet he thinks he knows that his success proves there's no prejudice. He's no idea what it's like to face prejudice in the face of a job hunt when you're a straight poor pasty faced white male from the inner city or even a single mother trying to get back in to the work place after years of being unable to work due to childcare costs and restrictions.

Alain de BOtton's clips about status anxiety helped me. Mentally I mean. Yes, some people are twats cloudperson But some of them are in power and making decisions.

Are you listening, Messrs Duncan Smith and Bliar?

This is one of many reasons I think politicians (whose decisions affect poor people a lot) earn far too much, especially if they are of the route
wealthy family -> Eton -> Oxbridge -> Parliament.

I remember the months of getting paid and everything going out of my bank in bills on the same day. One month I had 40p for the month. No family, no one to ask. It was horrific and I was so embarrassed.

Caulkheadupnorf - how did you manage?

Even when I went through a period of homeless, I would have more than 40p to manage - not much more though.

My Dh was very poor growing up, he often went hungry.
He gets it. I don't.
I've never been hungry, never had more month at the end of my money.
I try to understand but I can't really.

I don't think it's fair to say no-one in the UK truly understands poverty.

I'm sure you're right, OP. And as another poster said, there are all sorts of situations that can only be truly understood by someone who's been there - but those living in real poverty are constantly judged and pronounced upon.

I think you are right that a lot of people haven't experienced it but just because you haven't been through it, doesn't mean you can't understand. It's called empathy.

I don't think it's fair to say no-one in the UK truly understands poverty.

true, but I think we are getting there. When people are refused life-saving NHS medical treatment, that they could have if only they had the money for example, it's a different matter entirely than the Christmas threads when some people moan (on an expensive computer) that they can't afford £500 worth of toys to their children.

Things are honestly looking grim in this country if you cannot afford good private health care and pension.