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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with my dad evicting us?

74 replies

GhostPower · 22/06/2017 17:01

So just a bit of background history without outing myself...

My sister and I had a big falling out over something I had requested nicely and she did it anyway. I tried to explain to her what she did was wrong and that it upset me a lot. She was being very rude and patronising and just could not see where she went wrong and very unapologetic to say the least.

My dad has always favourited her and treated her differently than myself and other siblings and we've always voiced this but he always denies it. Our DP's can also see this too.

Am I wrong to think that in a situation so black and white if a person has done something wrong they should apologise?

My DP and I sat down with my parents and explained to them where I was coming from but my dad could not see our view.

My dad got involved and sent me this lengthy letter which basically said I was wrong and I should know better??? Yes I don't get it either. That my sister needs him and he will support her.

Naturally this upset me and my DP didn't like what was said either and spoke to my dad. Admittedly things got heated and my husband defended me.

Now my dad has evicted us and wants us to leave asap with our kids.

AIBU to be upset when we haven't done anything wrong but yet we are the ones being punished?

OP posts:
Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 22/06/2017 17:06

It is hard to know. What did you ask her not to do? We only have one side of the story and it seems like something is missing.

DonkeyOaty · 22/06/2017 17:06

You need to contact Shelter to find out what is your best course of action wrt the eviction.

If your dad has always favourited your sibling then best cut ties and prevent yourself getting snarled up in further shenanigans.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 22/06/2017 17:11

Evict you from where... ? The family home or a house you rent from him?

SantanicoPandemonium · 22/06/2017 17:11

Without knowing what the fall out was about, it's hard to say if he's in the wrong. When you say your husband defended you, how did he do it? Was it lots of shouting or did it get physical?

If you live in the same home as your father, I can see how he wouldn't want to share a house if you're all fighting. If it's a seperate house that he owns, then he'll have to serve proper notice and go through the correct procedures to get ou out legally.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 22/06/2017 17:11

What has your mum said also?

abbsisspartacus · 22/06/2017 17:14

Did you have a proper tenancy agreement?

HildaOg · 22/06/2017 17:14

What was the fallout over? Why did you have to get your dad involved? How did your husband 'defend' you?

Nobody can give you advice based on the very vague information presented. If someones that vague on facts it's usually because the facts don't support them.

sonjadog · 22/06/2017 17:16

It isn´t possible to comment on this situation without more detail, sorry. Situations are often not as black and white as you would like this one to be.

Trollspoopglitter · 22/06/2017 17:17

He needs to give you 2 month notice to evict you, even if you don't have a written contract.

ImsorryTommy · 22/06/2017 17:19

How 'heated' did things get with your husband defending you?

NerrSnerr · 22/06/2017 17:19

It's hard to comment- what did you ask her not to do? Are you renting with a tenancy agreement or living at home.

NicolasFlamel · 22/06/2017 17:21

What do you mean by "heated"?

Underthemoonlight · 22/06/2017 17:24

I know it's not really mn bussiness but if you want any advice you need to explain what has gone to best advise and also to give you an unbiased opinion to help resolve the issue at hand.

user1476869312 · 22/06/2017 17:27

It sounds like living in separate homes would be best for all of you, if you can't stop fighting and sulking. Do get help from Shelter or the LA, and while things are getting sorted out, remain as calm and polite as you can with the family members you currently have to live with.
It's possible that the bad feeling between you all is down to overcrowding as it is, in which case your dad 'evicting'; you could be doing you a favour.

Pestilentialone · 22/06/2017 17:33

You may see it as a black or white situation but neither your DF or DSis do. Most of life is some sort of shade of grey.
Seek advice as suggested above. It seems like it is time to be independent.

Sirzy · 22/06/2017 17:36

Very few situations in adult life are black and white....

DrowningSeas · 22/06/2017 17:36

Depends on the context here,

Did you ask your DSIS to do something illegal? If so YABU

Where are you living that he is kicking you out from? As again, context is needed to to pass advice.

MissEliza · 22/06/2017 17:38

Why are you keeping the details so vague?

CotswoldStrife · 22/06/2017 17:40

It's hard to see why you involved your parents by explaining your side of whatever happened. You seem very determined to put your side across to everyone and have them agree with you, but it's difficult to comment based on what you've said so far.

khajiit13 · 22/06/2017 17:40

Totally depends on what you asked her to do/not do

ChasedByBees · 22/06/2017 17:40

Sorry I agree with everyone else. You've stated that she was objectively wrong but you've not allowed us to judge that.

If you and your DH live with your dad he may not want to live with someone who he feels threatened by.

QueenofallIsee · 22/06/2017 17:49

Do you live with your Father or do your rent your home from him? In either case, I think you need to be independant from him, but if the latter then he can't just evict you because you were mean to his favourite child! You have rights as a tenant even with no contract.

Start looking for somewhere to live in your own time and remind yourself how much better off you shall be out of this unhealthy family dynamic

Saiman · 22/06/2017 17:51

As pps say it really depends on what it is that happened.

But also why your df thinks she needs support and especially what 'defended' and 'heated' means.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 22/06/2017 17:52

If relations are strained with your dad, then perhaps it's best to move and not have him as your landlord?
Could you afford to rent elsewhere?

WorraLiberty · 22/06/2017 17:54

Too many gaps in the story, OP.

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