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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"yeah, the kids all have a vomiting bug"—visitors!

65 replies

happilyLostCareer · 18/06/2017 04:58

Grrrr. Friends turn up at our yesterday with DC 6, 4 & 10 months, all pale, whiny, with running noses and dodgy tummies. After 10mo vomits all over herself & the playmat, and 6 yo continues to whine while shoving her face into mine, DH's, and DS's, parents gaily say "oh don't mind them, the kids all have a vomiting bug" and then stay another 2 hours while their kids monopolise the toilet!!!

They were coming round because they know I'm on my knees with sleep deprivation after 7 months of waking every 10-45 minutes with DS, and we've all been really ill with a cold and thus were too tired to meet them at the usual cafe meeting on Saturday morning. They went to that too and distributed a few viral particles round the cafe...

And guess what, now we all have the bug too.

What is wrong with people?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 18/06/2017 05:09

Selfish fuckers
But why on earth turn up at all when you are so tired. I wouldn't have let them all in

Original poster
happilyLostCareer · 18/06/2017 05:15

We thought it would be 30 mins & healthy kids, not 3 hrs & a pukefest!

OP posts:
NYPDSue · 18/06/2017 05:31

Some people just don't get the sickness bug thing. We had a large Christmas gathering and I had a text from one friend on the day whose dd had been sick several times in the night, he thought they's see how she was during the morning and then decide whether to come (for lunchtime). I had to text back and say please don't come Hmm

Selfish idiots.

SandysMam · 18/06/2017 05:39

I hate this SO much!! I nearly died from kidney failure after a sickness bug, people just don't think...or just don't give a shit! Hope you and your little one don't catch it! Sounds like all you need!

jennymac31 · 18/06/2017 05:47

WTF - some people are absolutely selfish and inconsiderate. I hope you'll be having words with them after you & your family have recovered.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/06/2017 05:53

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Why inflict a nasty illness on others. You have a baby fgs, everyone knows babies can get really ill fast. I have ME/CFS and getting this would be very serious as it could be for anyone with a chronic illness or compromised immune system. Dh and I went on a trip with a group of friends. One of their mother's was visiting from the US and brought a vomiting bug with her. I spent the whole time in the hotel room drinking flat Coke and eating dry biscuits, close to passing out while the mother had mild symptoms and had fun visiting places of interest and wine producers.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/06/2017 05:54

Meant to say and that was before I got ME.

Ceebs85 · 18/06/2017 05:55

I hope you've said something. Who does that and in any case why would she force her poor children out of the house!

Original poster
happilyLostCareer · 18/06/2017 05:56

Unsure what to say really. Husband is one of those engineers who constantly crack jokes about academics being clueless halfwits with no common sense (we are academic & ex academic). Wife is a doctor. She knows well that cathing bug after bug does not necessarily confer immunity (ie kids stop getting sick mostly when they're old enpugh not to share germs as much, not cos they're immune to everything), but with 3 kids, full time work & wanker husband she is usually too tired to overrule husband's good ideas on childrearing...

So not much that i say will change his views...

OP posts:
YoureNotASausage · 18/06/2017 06:06

I think you should send her a message and say 'I feel bad saying this to you but you carelessly brought a vomiting bug into my house when we are already on our knees and now we are all sick too. Please think in future'.

I'd be fucking livid. There's only one thing that scares me in life with 3 small children and it's a vomiting bug ripping through all of us.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/06/2017 06:15

Do you have the guts to say: "We now all have the vomiting bug, dc being very young in particular is suffering. I know it was (your dh's) idea to still come. I'm surprised, being as he's such a sensible engineer and all. Ha ha ha. Looks like the jokes on us again."

GreenRut · 18/06/2017 06:16

That is shocking. If your dcs have a vomiting bug then you bloody stay at home. It's not rocket science.

haveacupoftea · 18/06/2017 06:16

I have a relative like this. Always announces during or after visits that her son has some bloody virus or nits. I have a tiny baby and she had her DS visiting the other day. When he started to look a bit flushed she started to fret that he might have picked up chickenpox from some other kid that has it! Sorry but if your child has been exposed to chickenpox can you let me know before bringing him to visit my 4 week old baby and give me a choice as to whether I want to risk him getting ill Angry

mummytime · 18/06/2017 06:24

Sorry but I would let them know they have added to your problems by giving you the bug. And the drop them.
He sounds like a bully. And they were totally unreasonable to come round. I still feel guilty for visiting friends years ago (probably about 15) when my eldest became ill during the day, AND it wasn't vomiting and he was really symptom free when we left home.

TheMaddHugger · 18/06/2017 06:35

YoureNotASausage Sun 18-Jun-17 06:06:46
I think you should send her a message and say 'I feel bad saying this to you but you carelessly brought a vomiting bug into my house when we are already on our knees and now we are all sick too. Please think in future'.

^ This

And Madd ((((((((((((hugs)))))))) OP

1Potato2 · 18/06/2017 06:46

I'm confused as to why, on being told they had a sickness bug, you didn't ask them to leave?

They should not of been there in the first place though.

lizzyj4 · 18/06/2017 06:55

What You'renotasausage said - although I'd send it to the husband too. They''re selfish idiots who obviously need it spelling out.

Too late for you unfortunately but you might save other people if you tell them straight that they are not welcome when they have a vomiting bug.

babsjonhson · 18/06/2017 07:05

They sound like crap friends. Academic or not they're total arse holes.

Original poster
happilyLostCareer · 18/06/2017 07:35

1potato2 we did everything we could to get them to leave but apparently the kids were having too much fun wrecking our garden in between trips to the loo!!!

Have sent message similar to the two upthread. Currently feeling sick, furious and disinclined to ever cross paths with these bloody people again.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 18/06/2017 08:07

As an emethophobe they'd have been asked to leave my house the second I knew they were ill.

Sickness bugs for us aren't only horrible in the usual way but send me off into a spiral of anxiety and panic.

I just don't get why you didn't ask them to leave? 'Oh no we'll stay as the kids are having so much fun' should have been met with 'I'm not joking, we have a big week and can't afford for anyone to be ill, you really need to go' and if they still refused I'd have taken myself and my child away from them.

Sorry OP, I know you are feeling poorly but when I read threads like this (people being bossed about and dictated to in their own homes by 'friends' it always makes me wonder why people tolerate this shit).

I'd be re-evaluating the friendship too.

Crunchymum · 18/06/2017 08:08

And my message would have been a lot more direct "thanks for giving us your bug, please don't ever come to my home again if any of you are ill"

harderandharder2breathe · 18/06/2017 08:10

I really don't know why you're friends with such rude and selfish people, I certainly wouldn't be after this!

Completely horrible and selfish to inflict a sick bug on anyone but a small baby in particular

donajimena · 18/06/2017 08:17

My SIL invited us to a party for my niece at her house. We drove 1.5 hours settled ourselves in. An hour in birthday girl was sick and she casually informed us that she'd been sick in the night but had put it down to excitement. .. she hadn't wanted to cancel and have her upset. Angry
I was fucking upset when my two started puking the next day.
One of many reasons why I am nc with the selfish bitch.

Funnyface1 · 18/06/2017 08:26

I can't understand how people can be so selfish. But I would have asked them to leave.

Nonibaloni · 18/06/2017 08:54

It works both ways. I kept my dc at home rather than visit my 92 year old granny. He had vomiting and diahorrea for 2 days and no way was I risking infecting all the elderly people.

You'd have thought I'd cancelled my wedding to play poker. Apparently she (ancient granny) wouldn't have minded.

I think people honestly don't realise that you can contain these things and bloody well should.