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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What would a goal weight be for dd?

78 replies

Thingsgettingstranger · 25/05/2017 19:44

Posting for traffic. Dd is 16 and 5'2. She is quite overweight. She is committed to losing weight and being healthier (starting tomorrow). I have little experience helping teenagers with weight loss and was wondering 1) if anyone has been through this and has any tips for me and 2) what a good goal weight would look like for a 5'2 16 year old girl?

Also, I know eating disorders are prevalent with young people so I will be keeping a close eye on dd and making sure she is being healthy. This is 100% her decision and she just wants me to support her.

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 25/05/2017 19:47

As someone who grew up with a mum and older sister constantly on a diet I'd maybe not focus so much on weight but healthy eating and exercise, maybe with the view to fitting into her clothes better? it's such a tricky subject and it would be awful if your daughter got into the mind set of her self worth being wrapped up in her weight!

Screwinthetuna · 25/05/2017 19:48

I can't help with the target weight, sorry, but I wouldn't let her get obsessed with diet as you don't want an eating disorder emerging.

What I'd do if I was her mum would be to start the new healthier lifestyle with her. Cut out the junk, obviously, but just practice portion control. Join the gym with her and go together as buddies and sign yourselves up for some fun gym classes. Set yourselves a goal, whatever that may be, and make it fun!

Ummmmgogo · 25/05/2017 19:49

anywhere between 7 and 9 stone would be best x

Bodypumpaddict · 25/05/2017 19:49

I agree with buster.
Focus on being Healthy, fuelling the body etc. Diets don't work & create body issues....

NapQueen · 25/05/2017 19:50

Im 5'2 and Id be happy and comfortable at 9 stone, but I am 32 and so Im not sure if a teen would be aiming fir less? As it is I am 4st overweight but at least I get to blame the two kids.

Titsywoo · 25/05/2017 19:51

Don't give her a goal weight. As others have said better food (less crap more veg) and more exercise.

Original poster

Thingsgettingstranger · 25/05/2017 19:54

Thank you everyone. I see what you're saying about making it less about the weight - that makes a lot of sense. I'm struggling to think of healthy family meals too - does anyone have any?

OP posts:

Sparrowlegs248 · 25/05/2017 19:56

How much does she weigh now? Maybe start with a smaller target if she's a lot to lose, then it won't seem.such a long way off.

I agree though, to focus on healthier eating and more activity is best.

Mixedupmummy · 25/05/2017 19:56

www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/healthyweightcalculator.aspx?WT.mc_id=101007

This is a great tool. Has the option for putting in child & what age. Will give you a range for weight and calories.

AgeingArtemis · 25/05/2017 19:57

Vegetables are low calorie, so anything that has a tonne of veggies and not too much "fattening" stuff will be relatively filling for low calories.

Stir fries, veggies stews, soups, curries with lots of veg (and no cream or coconut milk)

roarfeckingroar · 25/05/2017 19:58

8 stone would be about right. I'm a couple of inches taller and feel best at around 8.4 so gives a bit of leeway

MatildaTheCat · 25/05/2017 19:59

Depends on build and body shape. Might it be more achievable to set herself small targets and hen re-evaluate? So aim for half a stone,not hen a stone and see where it goes.

Whenever there is a weight/ height thread here there is a huge amount of variation in size. So one person can be 5'2 and feel fat after 8.5 stone (me) and another of the same height feels fine and says they are a size 10 at 10 stone.

lionsleepstonight · 25/05/2017 20:03

I'm 5 3 and 9 stone looks good on me. Any less is hard for me to maintain.
How much does she have to loose? Maybe a target of a stone at a time may seem more achievable than saying 3.

Berrybakecake1 · 25/05/2017 20:05

The best way to start is by losing 10% of overall weight and she how she feels after that and if she's needs to take it further. 1-2lbs a week. And drink plenty of water.
At 16 I was 5ft7 and weighed 16st I was fairly miserable but didn't have any support like your dd has.
I would agree with others that at 5ft2 7-9st sounds about right (more towards the 9st but that's just my personal preference)

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 20:08

Good for her!

LouHotel · 25/05/2017 20:10

I'm 5'2 and weight 11.5 stone when i was 16, i got this down to 8 stone by the time i was 19 and 10 years on i fluctuate comfortable between 8-9 stone (+baby weight for a few months)

My issue was i didnt have a sport i like and back then gym and running wasnt really geared towarss young teens. I also have brothers who are 6'4 so the family food portions didnt take into account my natural petitie size.

Personally i found portion control worked as well as having my largest meal at breakfast/lunchtime and a small tea so you have more time to burn the calories. Really she need to find a hobby or a gym as dieting alone wont work long term.

From a meal perspective sainsburys used to do these little cards with meal suggestions on and my mum followed that for me (until i cooked myself)

It is doable and at her age it will be much easier for her to overhaul her lifestyle than someone in their twenties or thirties.

reallyanotherone · 25/05/2017 20:11

8 stone would be about right. I'm a couple of inches taller and feel best at around 8.4 so gives a bit of leeway

I wish people would stop saying this. Yes 8.4 might "feel best" for you, but for many, i.e me, 8.4 at 5'4 is eating disorder territory. I "feel best" at about 9.7. People telling me
I should weigh 8.4 just makes me feel shit about myself, i know it's not healthy for me, but it doesn't stop me thinking I'm a stone overweight.

There's a reason there is a healthy weigh range. You can't just pluck a weight based on one person and say everybody should be that weight at that height.

According to the nhs healthy weight for 5ft is anywhere between 7st and just over 9st.

O/p, as others have said focus less on weight, eat healthily and up exercise. Go on how she looks and feels rather than numbers. If she wants a tangible goal, then 9.7 is reasonable in the first instance, as that is nearing the healthy weight. Set a reasonable first goal, you can always change it. 8st could be setting her up to fail. Alternatively, the old trick of buying a pair of trousers a size smaller?

user1495388403 · 25/05/2017 20:12

8 stone should be a good for that height.

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 20:12

YY to this post ^^

Kabex · 25/05/2017 20:12

A target weight for her is about 9 stone for a healthy BMI and realistic goal. I agree with the others that you should focus on healthy eating and exercise. Maybe an aerobics/dance class twice a week to start. A running group where she can make friends. Good luck to her

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 20:13

Sorry, that should have been YY to reallyanotherone's post. Well said.

peachgreen · 25/05/2017 20:18

Please don't give her a target weight. Seriously. Once you start looking at those numbers it can be a slippery slope. I had eating disorders all through my teens because no number was ever good enough.

Cook healthy meals, get out for family exercise, don't buy snacks. Encourage her recognise when she's hungry, have a big glass of water and then if she's still hungry in 20 minutes, have something to eat. Do things that will help her feel good about herself - get her nails done or take her to a spa or whatever. But please don't make her feel like she only 'wins' if she gets to X number.

Original poster

Thingsgettingstranger · 25/05/2017 20:20

Thank you everyone. She is 11st 6lbs. I think I'll take your advice and focus on health and fitness more than the weight (although that does need to be addressed). I think we'll set a first target of 11st, then continue from then. Thanks everyone!

OP posts:

WiddlinDiddling · 25/05/2017 20:27

All this goal weight stuff... bad idea.

In any case, it depends so very much on her build and frame - my sister is 5ft 4.. she looks great at 11 stone, and over at 12.5. At 9 stone she looks emaciated and ill!

(I have used her as example as im no good as an inactive overweight wheelchair user!)

TaraCarter · 25/05/2017 20:31

If she was a fully grown adult, the healthy weight range for that height would be anything in between 7 stone 3 and 9 stone 11.

She isn't necessarily fully grown, so she needs to go very carefully. Teenage girls have naturally higher nutritional needs than adult women, so the crash dieting that many adult women go for is especially dangerous for teens' health.

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