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Original poster

What would a goal weight be for dd?

78 replies

Thingsgettingstranger · 25/05/2017 19:44

Posting for traffic. Dd is 16 and 5'2. She is quite overweight. She is committed to losing weight and being healthier (starting tomorrow). I have little experience helping teenagers with weight loss and was wondering 1) if anyone has been through this and has any tips for me and 2) what a good goal weight would look like for a 5'2 16 year old girl?

Also, I know eating disorders are prevalent with young people so I will be keeping a close eye on dd and making sure she is being healthy. This is 100% her decision and she just wants me to support her.

OP posts:
ihatethecold · 25/05/2017 20:33

When I was 16 I weighed 7.5 stone and wasn't skinny.
I was also 5ft 2.

BTG3385 · 25/05/2017 20:39

Fucks sake these posts are ridiculous. She is 11st 6 and going through the most hormonal time of her life. She isn't going to shed 3 stone plus! She just needs encouragement to eat better and exercise more. The weight is not important. Being healthier and feeling better about herself should be her only goal and that should not be linked to how much she weighs.

Going back to what can you do....cook better meals that are tasty, nutritional and filling and don't buy crap at the supermarket.

mellowbean · 25/05/2017 20:55

I wouldn't set a target weight, I would give her goals such as 15,000 steps a day, 30 mins cardio 3 times a week, food, don't eat anything above 5% fat so for example she could eat crisps and cakes but weight watchers type of thing, portion control just check your plates are not oversized then get her to aim for half veg, quarter carb and quarter protein, do this at lunchtime as well. Snacks should be fruit or a cracker and humus or low cal cereal bar. I know mn loves eggs but they are a good start to the day, and one treat a day or every other day. Perhaps set a goal to go down a dress size in 6 weeks. Or run a marathon. Good luck and it's good your addressing this.

Dozyoldtwonk · 25/05/2017 20:56

Speaking as someone who developed a number of food issues around that age when people were saying I was overweight (I was) & I went on a diet as a result, I would agree with previous posters who have said to focus on health, keeping active, eating filling nutritious foods & most importantly enjoying life doing so. I have managed to stay slim the whole of my adult life but not without having a number of issues around food and a fixation on my weight, unfortunately.

Please try not to focus on numbers, calories & targets & try not to focus on what the scales are saying too much - a piece of glass or plastic doesn't define someone's worth (& it's so easy to get into this mindset, I still am in my early 30's). A healthy relationship with food is vital for the long term; help her to see she is beautiful with or without the extra weight…Smile

trilbydoll · 25/05/2017 21:01

I was very skinny at 16 and could eat whatever I wanted. Sadly at 32, eating crap and doing no exercise has the effect you would expect!

I wish my default was a bit more active and a bit more self control over biscuits. If you can achieve that, it should give her a decent foundation to be generally healthier.

Atenco · 25/05/2017 21:02

healthy eating and exercise

I don't know what the latest scientific evidence says, but they used to say that dieting caused people to put on weight afterwards.

There are so many different sports and activities, it would be good if she found one she liked.

And to always stop eating before she feels full.

peachgreen · 25/05/2017 21:04

Yet another teenager girl being taught to be obsessed with numbers on a scale. Good grief.

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 21:07

To be fair I don't that's what's happening here peach

peachgreen · 25/05/2017 21:26

Plum Lots of posters have given OP very good advice to not set her DD a goal weight but instead to focus on eating healthily, listening to her body and getting fun exercise as a family. She's ignored that and has decided to set her a target weight. At 16, not only is your body still changing and developing, you are in the prime danger zone for developing an eating disorder. Setting a target weight at that age is a terrible idea - it's teaching DD that she's only okay if she hits that magic number. It's not teaching her a healthy lifestyle - it's teaching her to obsess over what it says on the scales. As someone who had years and years of eating disorders, I know how dangerous that is.

Far better measures of increased fitness and health are things like how easy it is to run 5k, how many lengths she can do in the pool, how much energy she has in the mornings, how good she feels in her own skin.

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 21:39

Ah, I missed the update peach

I was going on the 2nd post by OP:

Thank you everyone. I see what you're saying about making it less about the weight - that makes a lot of sense. I'm struggling to think of healthy family meals too - does anyone have any?

Plumkettle · 25/05/2017 21:42

You're quite right of course. Numbers obsession is not the way to go.

Crunchymum · 25/05/2017 21:47

Targets are all wrong.

This isn't a quick fix, it has to be a complete lifestyle overhaul.

Don't get your DD obsessed with scales and calories and portion control at such impressionable age.

Go with healthy options, cutting down processed food, lots of physcal activity and seeing how her clothes feel on her.

CaulkheadUpNorf · 25/05/2017 21:49

What do you normally cook? Are snacks prevalent?

peachgreen · 25/05/2017 21:50

Plum Ahh I see - no worries! Smile

bibbitybobbityyhat · 25/05/2017 21:50

I agree that having a target number is very unhealthy and setting your dd up for a lifetime of problems.

If you have any bathroom scales, I'd suggest you ditch them!

And sadly some of the answers on this thread shows you just how fatally flawed asking a serious question on Mumsnet can be Sad.

Glittter · 25/05/2017 21:53

50-55kg max. She sounds like she has about 15kg to lose but if she's strict I reckon with exercise and diet it shouldn't take longer than 6 months.

Glittter · 25/05/2017 21:56

And I obviously didn't read the whole thread🙈
But I think she would feel a lot better about herself if she thin?

AppearingNormal · 25/05/2017 22:01

Increase the amount of water she drinks. Eat food she likes. But smaller portions. Bulk things that aren't so good for weight loss with veg ( eg spaghetti bol, light on the pasta plenty of veg in the sauce), big omelette with 2 eggs but only one yolk, get her off sweetners, lots of chicken heavily seasoned, make food taste great, curries don't have to be fattening if you make them, get rid of bread completely, but drink lots of water, a glass before every meal. Don't force her into exercising, don't get her to join a gym or exercise class, if she hasn't suggested it herself don't even go there. Just get her to be more active generally. Even things like vacuuming help. Never talk about her weight unless she brings it up. Do not weigh her. Lots of good exercise videos on YouTube she can follow on private.

Socksey · 25/05/2017 22:01

Depends on her build.... as previous posters have said.... focus on health and wellbeing..... so a good diet and exercise... balance in everything, so no food banned but rather learning about portion sizes....
Some people have suggested weights between 7 and 9 stone.... it varies depending on the individual.... for example, I have been 10 and a half stone ( give or take a pound or two) since I was 15.... and I'm almost 45 now.... and still a size 10-12.... now as then I eat well but I have maintained a good exercise regime which I enjoy ( that's important.... no point in doing it if it's not fun)

Socksey · 25/05/2017 22:02

Btw.... I'm also 5'2"

Designerenvy · 25/05/2017 22:03

At this age I'd try not to set a target weight. Make it more about a healthy lifestyle. Add fruit/ yoghurt as snacks, drink plenty of water, high fibre breakfast like brown toast and maybe eggs or bran flake/ weetaBix
For dinner aim for half the plate full of veg or salad, quarter carbs: rice/ potatoes/pasta and the last quarter protein: fish/ chicken/beef.
Try home made soup for lunch or omelette or wholemeal wrap with chicken/ salad.
Add in walking daily or even some aerobics....she might find it fun for ye to do it together!

It's great she's making a start. Best of luck .

kaytee87 · 25/05/2017 22:04

Between 7st3 - 9st11 according to the NHS

BuggersMuddle · 25/05/2017 22:04

If you / she know what the cause is (I mean yes, obviously overeating, but does she exercise at all?) perhaps setting incremental targets would be best? They don't all need to be weight / food related - just general healthy lifestyle goals.

So e.g.

  • If she doesn't eat breakfast and eats a big lunch, eating a healthy breakfast
  • If she doesn't exercise, could you go for a brisk walk together or a cycle?
  • Are there any triggers for comfort eating she could identify and try to exchange for something else?
  • Is portion measuring an issue - learning & adopting proper portions for her size could be a goal (I know a bit about this as I'm 5' and piled on weight when I could no-longer do the 10-12hrs of exercise I was doing a week for health reasons. When you're wee, you're wee and I only got away with huge calorie intake because of my levels of exercise - when that was gone, well I'm still short).

You can't change everything all at once, so unless there's one over-arching reason I'd be inclined to try behavioural goals.

If she's very sedentary, would a Fitbit or even a cheap pedometer help? Even when super fit I love tracking steps. It's fairly benign as you're not really comparing yourself to much - 10,000 steps a day fairly easy to achieve and beyond that you're competing with yourself.

reallyanotherone · 25/05/2017 22:25

50-55kg max. She sounds like she has about 15kg to lose but if she's strict I reckon with exercise and diet it shouldn't take longer than 6 months.

55 kg is about 8.5 st.

Where did you get that figure from? Random? Based on your own build? On what you think is acceptable?

Do you honestly feel it's a good thing to tell an overweight teenager she should be a maximum of 55kg? When nhs says 9.5 stone is within normal range?

You've never met this girl. She may have a build where 55kg is unachievable without very strict dieting.

This is how eating disorders start. There is no one weight for a particular height.

I find it utterly unbelievable that people think it's ok to give such 'advice".