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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know your neighbours?

57 replies

btfly2 · 23/05/2017 11:11

Just that really. If so, how well do you know them? Aibu to prefer to keep some distance and choose not to go further than that? I know it sounds weird but I believe is more about self defence and my real trusting issues with people in general.

OP posts:
HallowedMimic · 23/05/2017 11:15

I don't know them at all. I wouldn't recognise them if we passed on the street, and I like it like that.

We live on a residential street, with a fairly busy road outside, and I chose it especially because I got the feeling we could avoid seeing the neighbours.

There are no gangs of children running about outside, and no one setting up neighbourhood watch or similar.

There are no parking wars, bin wars, or 'I noticed a man standing suspiciously by a lamposst' dramas.

I love it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/05/2017 11:19

Our next door neighbours have become our best friends.

And I still regularly see 7 friends from the street I lived on in London, and we moved away in 2004.

So yes, I love to be friends with neighbours.

bookwormnerd · 23/05/2017 11:21

I know them to say hello and make small talk. We went and introduced our selves when we moved in. If they needed me to pick up shopping or do them a favor am happy to. My dh has helped with lifting stuff. I do live in a place where everyone says hello though

A1Sharon · 23/05/2017 11:22

I love my neighbours!
They are all in the 60-80yo bracket, but all absolutely lovely. We all help each other out, my DH puts all their bins out etc. We use each others bins if ours are full, take in parcels etc.
In fact I pick up/drop off my recently widowed neighbour regularly to the airport etc.
They feed the pets etc when we are away, they use our trampoline for their grandkids when we are away...its lovely having such nice neighbours.

Natsku · 23/05/2017 11:24

Not really. I say hi if I see them in the garden, occasionally make small talk about the weather or gardening, but nothing more than that.

XxStefxX · 23/05/2017 11:24

I know all my neighbours, theres quite a mix of young and old on my street and we all seem to get on well and make the effort when we see each other. I know if I ran out of sugar I could knock on any of their houses xx

AgainPlease · 23/05/2017 11:25

Absolutely! Large terraced houses in 'naice' part of london. Both neighbours on either side are SAHMs. With with left neighbour we go to lunch once a month or so, neighbour on the right i sometimes pop over for a coffee, especially during weeks her H is working away and needs someone to chat to.

Love my neighbours! We let them know when we go on holiday to keep an eye out on the house and I'll even leave a spare key with one of them.

anotherpoisonprince · 23/05/2017 11:27

Yep. Been living in this house for 20 years I know lots of my neighbours. Some better than others tbf.

VanillaSugar · 23/05/2017 11:28

My neighbours on my right are lovely and we regularly socialise. My neighbour on my left thinks that my land is her land and gets hysterically angry when I ask her not to trundle her wheelie bins through my garden. My Left hand neighbour accosted a man in a parked car this morning and loudly complained about me (because I caught her in my front garden (which is behind a stone wall) and I said "I'd really rather you didn't do that.") My right hand neighbour then heard it all and phoned me up to ask if I was alright and did I need a coffee?

I used to live in a cul de sac where all our kids played in the street, we'd have parties and would close the road for any excuse (royal wedding, queen's 90th) for a massive street party.

I don't think it's me Sad

JsOtherHalf · 23/05/2017 11:28

We live on a pretty quiet residential road.
I could name the residents of the nearest 5 or 6 homes.

A couple of them feed our cats when we are away and have babysat.

MissMooMoo · 23/05/2017 11:29

Yes I know most of the people on our street and would recognise them/say hello when out.

Ravenblack · 23/05/2017 11:30

I live on the edge of a row of detached homes in a cul de sac and I am tucked up a corner in a very private slot with a 60 foot long (slightly curved) drive, and the road ends with a dead end 100 yards from my drive. (I am No 1.)

I know No's 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, & 10 as they are all in my close. Then the road goes around a bend, and although I see those people when walking, I don't know their names.

The other 9 homes I named, I do swap Christmas cards with, and speak to on the driveways for half hour once or twice a week. I have also taken a couple of the old ladies in the close for doctors appointments and suchlike, and I am in a couple of hobby groups that several of the neighbours go to.

We also meet at the pub once a month or so. (Some of us.) We are a close community but don't go in and out of each other's homes. And I do know all their names and some of their extended families.

I love it here, it's a gorgeous area, my neighbours are fab, and it would take dynamite to move me.

PoppinsMoppins · 23/05/2017 11:32

I say hi when o see them, but shamefully don't even know their names. Would be nice to be a bit friendlier really, but it is hard to start that up.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 23/05/2017 11:36

I do indeed. That said, it's just me and my DP and one other family who I could call neighbours, we live in a farmyard in two barn conversions and they have known my DP since he was knee high to a grasshopper. They're a lovely family, just mum dad and one daughter of about 14. The mum used to bake for my DP before I lived with him, she's that much of a 'mother' type 😂

mumthatruns · 23/05/2017 11:37

Know both my next door neighbours, regularly chat to both. neighbours on the right have a little one a month younger than mine so do regular play dates (coffee and chats!) with them, BBQ's with both.
On hello and friendly terms with neighbours one each side of our neighbours too.
Downstairs flat to us also get on well with, take in deliveries and chats etc as we have a shared garden.

I think it's nice to know who you live by!

BastardGoDarkly · 23/05/2017 11:38

I know all the ones on our culdesac yes.

ExplodedCloud · 23/05/2017 11:39

I know the people in our little road. Some better than others. It's nice. We made an effort to be approachable when we moved in and they responded :)
Not too claustrophobic but a bit more than just "Good Morning".

ihop · 23/05/2017 11:39

I know there names, we say hi and have occasional chats outside. We do some favours for each other eg neighbour puts out the bins and I bring them in. I'm happy with that.

tinypop4 · 23/05/2017 11:39

I know my immediate neighbours. I'm in a semi detached and on friendly terms with the young couple next door. On the other side, we have a lovely lovely neighbour in her 60s who lives alone. My dh helps her with diy, gardening where she needs it, and in return she is always kind to watch our dc in an emergency, or even babysit for us now and again.
We know a few others to wave too but not the street community that we had on our road as a child. I miss that for my dc and wish playing out with the nearby kids was a thing

shinyredbus · 23/05/2017 11:40

we have about 12 houses in our row - we know most of them. We know our immediate neighbours pretty well (sometimes have lunch over at theirs as the mum is an excellent cook!) Most are married with older children, we were the last on the row to have kids. All the kids are about the same age (are are all the original owners of the houses) - secondary school and often are seen playing together on the garden outside.

Once a year, the committee organise a big picnic in summer and everyone gets together - lots of food/drink and we hire a bouncy castle for the kids. this is when we speak to the neighbours we don't really know (there is a block if plates opposite us). Its all quite lovely!

Sometimes we help with feeding the cats when they are away etc.

CuppaSarah · 23/05/2017 11:43

I make chit chat with everyone in the other flats, but we aren't friends. We were with our upstairs neighbours, but after the many sleepless nights listening to them screaming and throwing either furniture or each other about and numerous police visits to them, our relationship became strained.

MycatsaPirate · 23/05/2017 11:46

Know most families in our cul-de-sac. We moved in 18 months ago and it's a lovely friendly place. Next door are a family of four, two young kids. Other side is a lady of 91 who I often help out by taking her to the doctors or shopping.

Across the road is another family of four, 2 kids about DD2's age and further up on both sides is a mix of the older generation and young families. We all know each other and chat in the street. It's a lovely place to live.

EdmundCleverClogs · 23/05/2017 11:47

My neighbours vary from a pain, to dodgy to absolutely inconsiderate dickheads.

Had one neighbour on the lamb through all our gardens after a raid down the road.

Across the road just take the piss, constantly parking their endless cars across our front door. I say endless, because every so often the old one will get towed for some reason, before a new one turns up. I think they think they're somehow out-smarting the ones taking them away Hmm.

Next door are cunts. Constantly shouting and screaming, dog barking and breaking into our garden (to the point we can no longer use it), and blaring music through amps. Yesterday we had Ed Sheeran's album on repeat for hours, including a sing along that sounded like a seal being clubbed to death (there was also clapping along, the knobs).

I used to know all my neighbours, but it was the nosy types who only liked talking to you for gossip. I would love decent neighbours, I don't want to have to contemplate moving to the South Pole....

ScottishBadger · 23/05/2017 11:47

Yes.
One side are my father and mother in law.
Other side is my husband's aunties.

BeachyKeen · 23/05/2017 11:51

Most of our neighbours are the nodding kind. "Morning Jim! " "nice day out, eh Marie?"
One set, that are 2 houses down, we are much closer to. Their son and our son have been friends since grade 7, so we new them long before we moved here last year.
We go over and have back yard campfires, drink wine and roast marshmallows together