Do you know your neighbours?

[btfly2]

Just that really. If so, how well do you know them? Aibu to prefer to keep some distance and choose not to go further than that? I know it sounds weird but I believe is more about self defence and my real trusting issues with people in general.

We've lived here a few years. Small cul de sac, one direct neighbour. Got to know the original neighbours, older lady, became widowed ended up in a nursing home shortly after. We did each other little favours, I mowed her grass, she'd let me put excess rubbish into her bin. New neighbours have an older DC same age as DS2 and will be in the same class at school. They're beginning to play together which is lovely.

Been here two years on street with stand alone houses. 6 on my side of this bit of road and know by name. People look after each other's pets. MainlyFamilies with kids and couples. Been into houses for coffee with 3 of them. Chat if out gardening, passing for a walk.

My one set of neighbours are very nice. We went over for cocktails at Christmas and we'll always stop to make small talk. I think they'd quite like to be friends but me and DH are pretty anti-social.

The neighbours the other side are really weird. I think they're shy but they just come across as rude. We say hello but that's about it.

I do, however, know nearly all of the local dog owners from around my area and am friendly with them all

We know our neighbours, we occasionally have coffee or wine & a chat, we share excess garden produce and cake, we invited them to the big garden party we had for DS2s first birthday and have been to a dinner party at one of their houses. I'm not sure we'd call them friends as such because both sides are our parents age (everyone in our lane except us is retirement age) but we get along pretty well, keep an eye out for each other, they foiled a burglary attempt on our house etc.
We were (& still are) good friends with our old neighbours and it was my only regret moving that we couldn't take them with us when we moved for work.

I know them to have a chat in the street with...they're all quite elderly. In the past we had one neighbour we socialised with though.

We live in a cul-de-sac of six houses and know 3 of the neighbours to make small talk with. The other 2 are elderly ladies who we barely ever see - but I drop a Christmas card through their letter box each year. I like having neighbours that we can make small talk with. The last place we lived, our neighbour was so anti-social he seemed to dash into the house if he saw us to avoid having to say hello. Miserable git.

My immediate neighbours I chat to regularly, we take parcels in for them quite often - DP and I work shifts and so usually one of us is at home most of the time. I recognise and say hi to probably half of the rest of the people on our street, which is pretty good as it's quite a large residential area.

Yes.
On one side & also a few houses up & across the road, we have lovely neighbours. All but 1 are retired couples, one or two elderly people. The couple next door (in their 60s) offered to help with lifts, shopping etc when DC3 was born via CS. We make sure to check on the elderly neighbours in bad weather. The one family who live nearby have similar aged DC to mine & we are trying to set up a playdate.

On the other side is a family of parents in 40s/50s & their older DC (late teens/early 20s). The parents are fine but their DD bangs on the wall if my kids are playing 'too loudly' at teatime & once came round to complain about their noise at around 5.30pm (I have 3 boys who were all under 6 at the time, the bigger 2 were being a bit noisy & the little one was crying because he didn't want to lie down & have his nappy changed) So we are polite to them but avoid where possible.

When we first moved in 4 years ago we invited them all round for Christmas drinks, which I think helped. All accepted except the next door we don't really get on with.

Yup. Lived here for 20 years.
There's single Mum C and her 2 kids at #14
Single woman C in her late 50s or early 60s at #16
New young couple (M &L) at #14 - not yet moved in, still decorating. I miss M who lived there before (elderly, true feminist, took no shit, independent to the end).
Me and 2 DS at #20
Single man M in his 30s at #22
Single woman B in her 60s at #24
Couple E & E in their 30s #26
Older man T #28
New man renting during the week F #30

That's just my side of the road. I know lots on the other side and lots up and down the road, either to say hello to or on more friendly terms.

Gosh that's made me feel all happy now.

We are by no means in each others lives, quite the opposite I think because we are all terrace along here. During the winter months you barely see anyone, but when it's nicer and we see someone as we're coming or going we usually have a chat.

I am on closer terms with a few of the ones above and have coffee, or can knock to ask to borrow things etc (likewise they do the same - water each others plants etc).

We've lived in our home for a year now.
One side of the neighbours we rarely see. Mum works shifts, and her teen kids leave for school early and get home late. Don't really hear any of them. We say hello if we do see each other.
Other side of the neighbours are elderly (60/70). Both retired, and the woman dotes over my DS (2) when she sees him. We aren't on name bases, but often say hello, and make small talk.
I quite like it how it is. I'd hate to have nosey or noisy neighbours that you seek to avoid.

I live on a lovely street, once here, people tend to only move when they have to. That said, one set moved about 5 years ago... three doors away, they needed a bigger home!

I have keys to my immediate neighbors' houses and the two opposite, we all pet-sit for each other, do bins, take in parcels and generally be nosy when someone's out or an alarm goes off.

DH is away quite often and I know that in an emergency I could knock on any of about 8 doors for help.

We're not in each other's pockets but have had the odd coffee/wine/gin with about 5.

I think our annual street party makes a huge difference, you get to meet people and, although I don't remember most names, I'm now on more than a nodding basis with lots more people on the street. It makes for a really good atmosphere.

We live in a rented terraced house. We are on nodding/good morning terms with the neighbours on one side. Have tried to say hello but don't really get a response. Fine by me. The other side we chat to but the Mum works weird shifts so barely see her. She lives with her adult daughter and they get a bit loud when they have a drink so I'll knock on the wall and they stop and she apologises later. Across the street is an utter dick but he provides constant amusement with his petty parking wars that noone else actually engages with. My parents live in a cul de sac where they are all quite friendly. It is nice. They all came out to see me off when I got married despite me having left home years ago.

Oh yes we know our neighbours.
We make cups of tea in their kitchens and light their scented candles when they're on holidays. We made copies to their keys years ago and let ourselves in whenever we fancy a nosey around. It's like having a mini break.

Last time I was having a sneaky cuppa I was startled by an elderly Korean lady who seemed to be haunting the bottom of the garden in the ruins of a garden shed, trying to bury an urn. Her husband did take to opportunity to have a swim in the pool, before he loaded the shed up and took himself and his wife away.

People can be so intrusive, don't you think? Put me right off my nosey.
I had planned on putting out a wash too, but they were there!

Know pretty much the whole street. Next door are a couple our age without children yet never complain if ours have been up/crying etc. DD1 drew a picture for the man last week and they got her some chalk to chalk outside our houses. DD1 also writes/draws pictures/posts small gifts for other neighbours, a few are elderly and one lady has been ill recently. I enjoy interacting with our neighbours and great that DC 'know' them and are caring about them. DH was a little more reserved when first moved to the North but enjoys a chinwag across the lawn now!

I know most of mine are reasonably well. I can go to them if I need something. And they can come to me. Nearly everybody in my building is a foreigner, I think not having any family here makes us a friendly bunch. :)

There aren't many neighbours I'd be able to pick out in a line up! My cup de sac has a large percentage of rentals (inc mine) and 3 houses are constantly changing tenants. I live in a 6 house terrace and only know the couple next door with their dog and the other side who are an older couple with children who regularly visit. The rest I only speak to if I can be bothered.

My neighbours in each direction are half a mile away :D

However we're on the outskirts of a tiny village on the Welsh Borders and I know everyone in about a mile radius... does that count? lol

I've just moved this year luckily next to a young family. We say hi and chat about usual stuff. I haven't met any other neighbours yet apart from an older woman who 'nicely' complained about me letting dd tear around the garden at 6:30 on a Sunday morning . I just didn't think and hope I haven't pissed her off.

I used to live in a massive high rise block of flats and didn't know anyone really. The neighbours didn't like us much I think!

Absolutely but it would be not to in a small village.
We've an elderly couple I cook suppers for, a younger family who the girls babysit for when they're home and whose children come to show me their school work and use the pool. Then up the road is the farmer whose sheep regularly run through my borders and his two adult children - one of whom does our flowers. The weekenders are here about once a fortnight but join in everything and have given the children work experience in the city and use of their ski chalet. We do drinks or supper quite regularly but also have fmore organised events with three neighbouring small villages - square dance, carols, garden parties, bonfire parties and pond clearing/churchyard tidies.

I live in a residential street, and I have lovely neighbours. We acknowledge each other and have a quick chat occasionally, but no intrusion nor drama. It just make life so much easier to have know they have our phone number and can call in case of problems, to take each other bins out when someone is away on holiday etc...
It seems everyone prefers a quiet life, and is considerate about noise, so we're lucky.

This made me think. We live in a traditional tenement flat 16 flats off a central stair. I'd say I know about a third of people's name on the stairs and in about 80% can match the person to the flat ',oh she's the woman from number 7' if I see them on the stair and we'll say hello. Quite a few of the flats are rented and seem change tenents quite a bit so it is hard to keep up.

That's about the ideal level of interaction for me, I really don't want neighbours in and out of the flat or knocking on the door to spread gossip that 'Her from number 13 hasn't washed her windows in two weeks and him from number 9 is a secret drinker.'

I remember a lecture at university where the central point was that closely knit communities only work if you subscribe to the norms of that community and can be stifling and that in some respects the fact that people live more self contained lives is a good thing and there's less stifling pressure to conform.

I grew up in a small town where we knew everyone on the street and I could open the local paper and see someone I knew without fail.

For five years now I've lived in a city suburb and still don't know anyone. Know my neighbours to say 'alright?' at but that's it. We're in a private let house that's been converted into cheap flats and not kept up that nicely, on a street full of half a million pound houses, so I don't know if the people are too keen on getting to know us.

Neighbours next door to us are lovely. We chat if we see each other in the street. My youngest likes to have a chat with them over the wall in the back garden (not sure it's as enjoyable for them as she talks non stop ! ) We take in each other's parcels etc.
When we got our extension done they let us use their drive for materials and scaffolding and this year when they get their garden landscaped I've told them to use our drive if needed.
They are the nicest neighbours we've had .
Other side attached to our semi we occasionally see. They seem o.k. Only issue we've had was when they got their kitchen redone and they knocked a wall out. They didn't tell us, we just got woken up by drilling and banging one morning before 8am. Whole house shook. (We decided not to complain as it was a one off)
Neighbours across road play wacky races with each other. There is always cars parked over pavements and shuffling of cars on the drives. On,y know them by first names and their unofficial nicknames !

One of my neighbours is an utter cock, we keep a friendly distance from the others and have the occasional polite conversation in passing but the one next door is a whole new level of batshit I've never met before !

Wow so many responses! Thank you, it's very interesting, can't stop reading. I guess good neighbours are precious indeed!