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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he deserves jail? **warning child abuse related**

55 replies

IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:14

A man in a town near me has just been sentenced to 8 years in jail after he attacked and killed his uncle. His excuse was that his uncle abused him as a child.

Now, obviously I'm not defending his uncle as child abuse is the lowest of the low IMO, but I don't think being abused gives anyone the right to murder.

All over Facebook people are defending the killer and saying he doesn't deserve to go to jail and that he did the right thing. Is it just me or WTF? Of course he deserves jail, he murdered someone! This mentality of 2 wrongs make a right makes me so worried about the world. Aibu?

OP posts:
justnowords · 28/04/2017 13:19

In theory, id be inclined to agree. In practice, I dont know. I wouldnt endorse it but as a fellow child abuse victim I just cant it in myself to condone him for doing what he did.

onalongsabbatical · 28/04/2017 13:19

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind.
I'm not religious, by the way, but I don't think taking personal retribution is the way to go, it will lead to anarchy. This is exactly why we have a state, to perform functions like justice and punishment impartially. He could, as an adult, have reported the abuse and had his uncle prosecuted. Not an easy path, but the path he took hasn't done him any good, has it?
So - YADNBU.
The mob doesn't think - that's what makes it a mob - herd mentality.

Mrsemcgregor · 28/04/2017 13:21

It's definitely not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

He should go to jail of course, but he needs to be helped as well. He obviously was left very traumatised by his childhood experiences and that needs addressing.

xStefx · 28/04/2017 13:26

Perhaps he has been so traumatised over what happened to him he wasn't thinking straight maybe?
Perhaps he knew fully well he deserved prison but wanted this monster off the street so he couldn't abuse other people?
I personally wouldn't say he deserved prison myself (if the abuse happened) but I also don't believe in capital punishment or an eye for an eye either. The man I think probably deserved some help and some time somewhere but not sure a prison setting would help him overcome his trauma from the abuse he suffered. Sad situation

Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:26

I'm not down playing anything he went through, I can understand why you would want to hurt someone who has hurt you so badly. I'm just so shocked that so many people think this was ok for him to do. Even people I know who I thought were quite rational have sided with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:27

What would you suggest happens to him xStefx? He violently took a mans life!

OP posts:
BenadrylCucumberpatch · 28/04/2017 13:31

Was the abuse reported? Did he tell anyone, ever?

I only ask, because what's to stop any old sociopath with a grudge just murdering a family member and then saying "I did it because they abused me".

Then not only is the person murdered, their name is also trash for eternity too. The dead can't answer questions.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 13:33

I'm not going to lie, I've never been in that position so I'm not going to judge. Who knows what torment and trauma he went through. PTSD or any other post traumatic condition is unpredictable, and I have to say my sympathies lie with the abused child who became an adult. Obviously murder isn't right, but I can't say I'm concerned about a dead paedophile.

Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:34

He only told his wife about the abuse I think. It was never officially reported.

OP posts:
muckypup73 · 28/04/2017 13:36

Child abuse victims spend all their lives suffering, murder is wrong, but the victim may not have been in sound mind because of the abuse, I dont belive he deserves jail.

Neverknowing · 28/04/2017 13:42

He deserves jail because murder is against the law. There's no 'it's not illegal if...' it's illegal, you don't get away with murder otherwise I could murder my rapist (I'd love to) could I also murder the man who cut me off the other day? I know it's not even close to being the same thing but this is why we have a jail system, the police punish (yes often not enough or not well) the public do not.

sarahmum27 · 28/04/2017 13:44

Saor absolutely right.
Op I take it you've never experienced sexual abuse have you?
Sorry but I agree with your Fb friends.

Neverknowing · 28/04/2017 13:44

Wow. Sorry about the shitty grammar there, I'm incredibly tired.

sunnysouthend · 28/04/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chloe84 · 28/04/2017 13:46

I don't think 'excuse' is the right word, OP. Abuse is a mitigating factor.

It's difficult to say whether the sentence is just as we have no information to go on other than what you have posted. We don't know if the judge believed the man was abused, whether the murder was pre-meditated etc.

BeyondUser24601 · 28/04/2017 13:46

He killed someone with premeditation and that cannot be condoned by the state. He was not in any immediate danger, it was not self defence.

However I'd guess the 8 year sentence shows they believe his mitigating circumstances.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 13:50

He was cleared of murder and jailed for manslaughter so the mitigating circumstances were presumably taken into account. That said, victims of sexual abuse and violence are woefully let down by the justice system and the lasting impact upon victim's mental health can be devastating. He also didn't go looking for him with a knife or gun, but beat him violently in the heat of the moment after he confronted him about the abuse.
I can see why people have sympathy for him, I do too. When I read about the rubbish sentences (or lack of) for people who commit gratuitous violence or the sentences for rape etc I think 8 years is too long.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 13:52

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/man-jailed-over-eight-years-12959095.amp

I think this is the case OP is referring to.

LedaP · 28/04/2017 13:54

but I can't say I'm concerned about a dead paedophile.

So you have found the dead man as guilty? How do you know that?

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 13:55

Given that the news coverage states that he was abused without allegedly being invoked, I'd say so.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 13:56

This is the uncle. He certainly was guilty.

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/local-news/middlesbrough-child-abuser-who-changed-3667753.amp#xxri=19

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 13:56

Involved not invoked.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 13:57

Having read that, that he was still abusing kids and accessing pictures of abuse I give even less of a shit that he's dead.

Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:59

Yes that is the case im referring to and no I've not been abused. No need to twist my words though.
I have sympathy for him and his family too, however I can't condone him killing his alleged abuser.

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 14:00

All due respect OP it's not up to you to condone or condemn. The justice system has done its job wrongly imo but that's life.