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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he deserves jail? **warning child abuse related**

55 replies

IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 13:14

A man in a town near me has just been sentenced to 8 years in jail after he attacked and killed his uncle. His excuse was that his uncle abused him as a child.

Now, obviously I'm not defending his uncle as child abuse is the lowest of the low IMO, but I don't think being abused gives anyone the right to murder.

All over Facebook people are defending the killer and saying he doesn't deserve to go to jail and that he did the right thing. Is it just me or WTF? Of course he deserves jail, he murdered someone! This mentality of 2 wrongs make a right makes me so worried about the world. Aibu?

OP posts:
sarahmum27 · 28/04/2017 14:00

Because you've never been abused Hmm

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 14:01

Also pretty disgusting that he got less than half the sentence his victim got, for repeatedly abusing him at aged 5.

sarahmum27 · 28/04/2017 14:01

So what do you suggest should have been done to this pedophile?

No one was locking him up for good. If you ask me the poor bloke did society a favour.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 14:02

His abuser wasn't 'alleged.'

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 14:03

No one was locking him up for good. If you ask me the poor bloke did society a favour
This! The fact this bastard is dead means that children are safe. That's a bad thing how? If this country took scum like that off the streets permanently things like this wouldn't happen. (And don't preach about rehabilitation because my friend was murdered by someone who'd already done a "life sentence" and came out just as fucking evil and vicious as before)

sarahmum27 · 28/04/2017 14:04

Exactly, we euthanise our beloved pets, yet we're not allowed to euthanise convicted child molesters?!?

Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 14:06

I don't know know what should have been done with the paedo, I'll be honest. I also struggle to muster up much sympathy for him and have already stated I can understand why he killed him.

I might be thinking of it too logically rather than emotionally.

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 14:09

Logic doesn't come into it OP, that's the point I was trying to make. This man survived the worst thing that can happen to a child and lost it as an adult. The fact he's being punished for it makes me feel sick.

BeyondUser24601 · 28/04/2017 14:09

Maybe he logically weighed it up and decided it was worth a potential prison sentence? I can certainly imagine doing that, in a similar situation.

upperlimit · 28/04/2017 14:11

No, failing to give a shit, OP. I understand that a jail term was necessary but I can't get upset that it offends other people's ideas of fairness.

Dumbo412 · 28/04/2017 14:16

I'm sorry, this isn't going to be a popular stance on things, but maybe the abuse was that severe? Maybe he was so impacted by what happened to him that he couldn't get past it.
Maybe he also felt that his uncle was still a risk to others?

I was sexually abused from the age of three by my sisters dads uncle, years before this, he was linked to the sexual assault and death of one of his nieces. His brother never wanted to believe that he was involved at all,but that pieced so much together for him.
There was one nephew in particular who still allowed his kids around him. Two of his children, his only girls have both grown up to be drug addicts. By the age of 14 one was on crack, the other was addicted to heroin and dabbled with crack, when I last heard of her she was 18-19. I think I saw her a few years ago begging in the town. She looked awful. I doubt she will ever have any type of life.
I also know for a fact that the two girls were abused because one of them told me about the "games" that they played when I was about six. I told her mum but no one listened, the other I'm sure about. We last spoke when I was 14 and she wanted to have a conversation about what he did to me.

My point is, these people rarely stop. They spend their lives abusing all the people they can, and what kind of life is left for their victims?
The man who abused me, had 3 other victims I know of, It has affected my life, but in far less disastrous consequences than the others.

Anyone who abuses children in my eyes deserves death.

Quartz2208 · 28/04/2017 14:25

the 8 years means that his mitigating circumstances were taken into account.
The point is that is our society you cannot and should not be allowed to kill people with impunity (regardless of what they have done to you) and not be punished. That is a cornerstone of our legal system, one which holds that belief that no one has the right to take another's lifes.

Now the fact that he believed if he had told the legal system would let him down is a different point, I believe the legal system does and can let victims of abuse down. That is what should be addressed making sure that the abusers are punished.

VestalVirgin · 28/04/2017 14:25

He shouldn't have gone to jail for murder. He should have gone to jail for manslaughter, and as few years at that makes possible.

The fact that he'd probably have gotten only five years or less if he had murdered his innocent wife in a drunken rage makes me not very sympathetic to those who say that he should be punished because "murder is wrong". Men kill innocent women all the time, and get off the hook.

Yeah, we can't have people run around taking the law in their own hands, but I really don't see why he should be punished more than men who kill just for the thrill of it.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/04/2017 14:29

According to that report, the abuser was at the victim's mother's house. What kind of woman would have anything to do with a convicted paedophile? Even if he was her brother. It sounds like a lot of people let that man down. I hope he gets some help and an easy time in jail.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 14:30

Vestal he plead to manslaughter so wasn't convicted of murder although that was the original charge.

MarilynWhirlwindRocks · 28/04/2017 14:56

My instant, gut reaction is why the Hell should anyone guilty of child abuse (thereby sentencing kids to any number of devastating, life-long consequences) deserve full human rights?

They have, after all, acted inhumanely. In the vilest way possible.

(BTW, it's highly unlikely the abused man would have felt he had the right to murder, as stated upthread...more that the depth of his turmoil and trauma was clearly still so intolerable as to have affected his soundness of mind).

However, I'm against capital punishment (too easy an escape, IMO: I'd argue that a perpetrator being made to face the crimes they've committed, see the devastating impact their actions have caused to others, and contributing in a meaningful way whatever reparations help those same victims heal, is a far more fitting penalty).

So it would be hypocritical of me to condone vigilante action for that same reason.
No easy answer. I suppose governments prioritising, and not bloody cutting, budgets for first-class therapeutic support services would be a start?

Rightly, child sex abuse will always be a very emotive subject.

PodgeBod · 28/04/2017 15:16

8 years is far too long in my opinion. I've read about people getting less for murdering babies.
I think this is no less then the abuser deserved, actually. He created the conditions that turned his nephew into a killer.

stitchglitched · 28/04/2017 15:18

'He created the conditions that turned his nephew into a killer.'

Really good point.

Quartz2208 · 28/04/2017 16:29

he would have been found guilty of manslaughter using the loss of control defence in that his loss of control had a qualifying trigger but not for revenge . 8 years does seem harsh though given 7 year sentences for infidelity

The law relating to this and sentencing is quite rightly quite tightly governed people cannot and should not be allowed to act out their own form of punishment particularly resulting in the loss of life. The judge does has discretion

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/04/2017 16:54

I'm with everyone on Facebook. He shouldn't have gone to jail
. The evil child abusing cunt deserved it. My sympathies are with the poor bloke who suffered the abuse and terror. Not a disgusting pervert.
I hope he's rotting in the pitts of hell.

WesternMeadowlark · 28/04/2017 17:07

I don't know about "deserved", but we as a society have no choice but to punish acts of vigilantism (sp?) because otherwise, as pps have said, anyone could claim someone they wanted to kill was guilty, kill them and get away with it.

I wouldn't have an issue with rapists and murderers getting the death penalty, but having the death penalty inevitably results in some innocent people being executed, so imo we can't have it, and that's just tough.

It would be great if more people, good and bad, got what they truly deserved in life, but all we can do with the justice system really is minimise damage, sadly.

That having been said, I don't think we're there yet with the justice system. It could still do with quite a few changes to make things properly fair.

WhooooAmI24601 · 28/04/2017 17:11

Surely if the Uncle hadn't repeatedly abused him, he wouldn't have grown up to murder folk? It's not as though he went on a rampage killing anyone willy-nilly; he killed the man who - some might say - ruined his life. I find it hard to feel sorry that a paedophile is dead, no matter how historic the abuse.

silkpyjamasallday · 28/04/2017 17:15

I used to be of the view that I honestly couldn't scrape up an ounce of care for a murdered peadophile, they are the lowest of the low. I would struggle myself with murderous feelings if god forbid anything happened to dd, so I can understand this man wanting to take justice into his own hands and murdering his abuser.

But, many child sex abusers were themselves abused as children, 40-80% of juvenile sex abusers were abused as children. This is where for me it becomes difficult as obviously the abuser themselves may also have suffered the same horrific abuse. It isn't a justification but I do think it needs to be examined. The chain of abuse continues if nothing is done to keep peadophiles away from children permanently. A 'life sentence' should be a life sentence not just a few years with the possibility of parole, they should rot in jail for the rest of their natural lives imo and not given any of life's pleasures. Prison in this country is not enough of a punishment, so many prisoners have access to phones and drugs covertly as well as tv and PlayStations provided by HMP. If prison was tougher and sentences were kept to and more severe it would be more of a deterrent.

BastardGoDarkly · 28/04/2017 17:22

Baby Ps mum got 8 years, how is that justice?

No, you cant have people offing others and walking, but getting the same time for this as for torturing your toddler to death is insane.

I hope the poor man finds some peace now.

Original poster
IAmTheWorwax · 28/04/2017 17:28

His sentencing was really unfair but I still stand by my word that if you murder someone, no matter the circumstances you will be punished. If the judge had let him go how many others would take it upon themselves to kill people they feel deserve it?

Anyway it was good to read other people's views on this, thanks for not turning it in to argument. I know this subject is very emotive for a lot of people.

OP posts: