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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To douche with tea tree oil before a smear test?!

339 replies

floraeasy · 12/04/2017 17:40

Was talking with friends today. I have a smear soon. Just mentioned I was going to pick up some tea-tree oil on the way home. They asked what it was for so I told them I douche before these appointments.

I occasionally do it after sex too. In fact I try not to have sex in the few days leading up to an internal.

They were Shock.

Now I feel weird Blush To me, it's like giving my teeth an extra good brush, flossing, mouthwash before seeing dentist. Just preparing myself, you know?

A lot of women in the US seem to have this as part of their regular routine.

By the way, I've been doing this for a few years now and no gynae problems so far.

OP posts:
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Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 13/04/2017 23:25

I love the "Demure" Douche advert. Priceless.
More Sad Men than Mad Men.

I also have subconsciously crossed ,y legs tighter and tighter whilst reading. Especially at the raw mince part.

MsGemJay · 14/04/2017 07:01

Obviously! The nurse is a professional. She's goi g to be used to dealing with everything. No need to feel like you need to 'prepare' it negates the point.

HOWEVER, good on you for going! They're so important x

saracrewe2 · 14/04/2017 08:11

I didn't think douching was a thing since the 1960's any more but hey if it makes you feel good then why not? When I have thrush I pour a dilute solution of apple cider vinegar over my nether regions and it is bliss it works really well, never considering douching though

When I had dd2 someone assumed I was desperate for a boy and told me about a douche pump that she made to douche herself pre sex in order to make her vagina more favourable for Y sperm. She was suggesting I try it for "next time", it sounded very mechanical. I declined of course.

kathkim · 14/04/2017 08:20

Having a bath kind of fixes that as the water goes inside and then whooshes out. For those of us who shower though, we don't get that, so maybe a rinse out of your insides could help.

CoteDAzur · 14/04/2017 08:32

Your insides don't need help. They don't need rinsing. They don't need to be cleaned.

You. Are. Not. Dirty.

ScarlettDarling · 14/04/2017 10:50

Oh my God....raw mince? Envy

Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2017 11:10

Please don't put this in Classics.

Floggingmolly · 14/04/2017 11:18

All threads about our nethers end up in Classics, Sparkling. It's a Rule now, penis beaker lowered set the tone.

Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2017 11:25

True Flogging. Tea Tree Fanny will probably end up there. Hmm All newbies will be directed to it so they can spit tea over their keyboard at the hilarity of it all.

kathkim · 14/04/2017 12:00

He also said 'this shit just doesn't occur to men - this must be because of what we've done to women'

I don't know. I was an an American forum once and these women were talking about their dating woes. One of them mentioned she wouldn't be continuing her relationship as she'd discovered the man was uncircumcised. Cue a lot of the women saying stuff like "disgusting", "unhygienic" and that they would dump a boyfriend for this, etc.

Also much talk of how it would put them off dating a Brit as they know it's not such a widespread practice here.

Also makes me think of that SATC episode where Charlotte though her uncut boyfriend looked like a "sharpei" and he goes off to get it sorted.

Original poster
floraeasy · 14/04/2017 12:15

I shall forever think of myself as TTF now Grin

Seriously though, I'd just as soon this thread disappeared. Posted in a moment of madness Blush.

However, I have learned a lot and hope that if there are others out there interfering with their hoo-has they will have learned to let well alone also. Thanks for the jazz-clearing tips too, ladies!

The only thing that concerns me a little is that I will be awaiting my results with more trepidation than usual, as from what I've understood here, my latest smear will have been the first accurate one I've had in years!

OP posts:
Original poster
floraeasy · 14/04/2017 12:16

*JIZZ even ffs!!!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2017 12:23

It's in AIBU which never disappears. You could get it moved to 30 Days Only or Chat then it will.

Original poster
floraeasy · 14/04/2017 12:28

I shall email MN then thanks. If I have any more mad urges to post my private life I shall remember to use Chat. I don't even have an online presence so usually quite private on the 'net. Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
floraeasy · 14/04/2017 13:17

The nurse that does my smears and sorts my contraception has known me since before I started primary school, her children were in one year above me and one year below me. In fact, I saw her in Tesco today. It was a little weird at first but she's a professional, she's seen hundreds of fanjos so I just let her get on with it

I know I'm being so silly!

The thing is, I am fine about the procedure. No nerves. Nothing like that. Don't mind if it was a male nurse or a female. No worries like that. Just wish the person doing it only recognised me by my fanny and not my face Blush.

Will just have to style it out!!!!

OP posts:
BlueChairs · 14/04/2017 16:09

Douching is awful for you ... I don't think European women have hopped in the US bandwagon of messing up your PH balance with an expensive douche and having to treat the subsequent thrush with an expensive treatment ...

BlueChairs · 14/04/2017 16:15

To flush it out after sex I just roll my stomach muscles and it kind of ... pushes itself out.

princessconsuelobananahammock · 14/04/2017 16:28

You're on the DM website!

Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2017 16:36

Hmm Well it's going to be there forever now. It was only a matter of time.

Darbs76 · 14/04/2017 17:22

I've heard of people doing it but it's not common in the UK. It's actually quite dangerous.

limitedperiodonly · 14/04/2017 18:16

What's the problem with it going in the Daily Mail? As their article highlights the fact that douching is unnecessary and may be harmful, it's good, to bring it to a wider audience isn't it?

Bit like the thread about the poster with copious vaginal bleeding that turned out to be potentially lethal sepsis. There was a repeat of that overnight but I don't know what's happened to the OP. I hope she is all right.

Or do we want to keep the good advice to ourselves?

Original poster
floraeasy · 14/04/2017 18:18

I wish to goodness I looked like the model they used for the article!!!!!! Envy

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/04/2017 18:19

It was pretty much a given that this would end up in the wider press. You could have put money on it.

SmileEachDay · 14/04/2017 18:34