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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to cancel this holiday

53 replies

grinningacorn · 23/03/2017 10:08

We are due to go on a holiday with DH's family soon to celebrate MIL's birthday, she is really excited.

However, I've just found out I'm pregnant with DC3 and need some honest opinions on whether to go or not. Both previous pregnancies I have suffered horrendous morning sickness/HG, and another pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage. We are due to go away when I'll be approx 10 weeks so expecting to be quite unwell by that point and the trip will involve a plane ride and long drive, but then I will be able to rest for the week with babysitting on tap from family.

I am totally unsure whether to cancel or not. If we do I know that MIL will be devastated. It's not feasible for DH to go without me (my youngest DS is only 15 months and still BF and I'm not ready for a week apart, and I can't look after them on my own whilst poorly either). However, stress / travel make HG so much worse. I'm worried if we cancel that MIL will think I'm being over-sensitive and a bit of a delicate flower. We don't have the best relationship, but do get on ok now.

So looking for some honest views, AIBU and a bit precious to want to cancel and should I just stock up with sick bags and put up with a difficult journey?

OP posts:

ImFuckingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 10:12

why not wait and see? Surely if you develop HG you can cancel and claim on insurance at the last minute, and you might find you feel fine, as not every person gets HG in every pregnancy.

DelphiniumBlue · 23/03/2017 10:14

Does travel insurance cover pregnancy/ HG? I'd be surprised if it did.

ImFuckingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 10:15

It doesn't usually cover pregnancy or routine sickness thereofm but HG is a distinct and serious medical condition, so it should be covered if you have a proper policy.

SmallBee · 23/03/2017 10:16

I'd be tempted to try and get through the travel aspect in order to get the benefit of having all the family around to help. I had HG and over Christmas I could rest an unlimited amount and that was invaluable. However if you do that then bear in mind the return journey won't be so easy as I'm guessing everyone will be going back to work and not able to help?

Are you close enough with MIL that you could just explain your dilemma and ask for her advice?

LoriD · 23/03/2017 10:19

If I was you I would just go because once your there you can relax and enjoy yourself as much as you can.

I do feel your being a bit delicate flower about the sickness really you can't stop living your life and your potently taking a holiday away from your dp aswell as the people are going with you so just get on with it

JonSnowsWhore · 23/03/2017 10:20

With regards to the sickness, I'd try to look at it that to u can either be sick & miserable at home, in the cold, with every day mundane life to attend to, or you can get through the travel bit & be sick, probably still a bit miserable but in a nice warm place with babysitters & a swimming pool (if it's that type of holiday) to relax you. I know what I'd choose

Original poster

grinningacorn · 23/03/2017 10:22

Thanks all. To answer questions, we haven't yet bought insurance so I guess will need to 'declare' the pregnancy when we do, I'll check through it carefully to see about HG - thanks, I hadn't even thought about that yet!

Small, we're waiting to the last possible minute to discuss with MIL as she's not very good at keeping a secret, and given the previous miscarriage we want to keep it just close family and friends until things feel a bit more certain.

OP posts:

deste · 23/03/2017 10:22

I would go because "if" you are unwell does it make any difference if you are unwell here or on holiday. You would be able to rest better on holiday because as you say you have plenty help.

StatisticallyChallenged · 23/03/2017 10:23

Honestly JonSnowsWhore, I developed hyperemisis whilst I was on holiday and it was horrific. The last place you want to be is somewhere warm with other people, and travelling with it is almost unbearable.

ImFuckingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 10:24

You should always have insurance before booking a holiday, not after.

StatisticallyChallenged · 23/03/2017 10:25

And it absolutely does make a difference if you are on holiday or at home. When you are throwing up 10+ times a day all you want to do is hide from the world!

Original poster

grinningacorn · 23/03/2017 10:27

Thanks Statistically, I think it's difficult for people who haven't had HG to understand (which is kind of why I'm worried about discussing with MIL). There is the tendency to say 'get on with it' as Lori does above, and underestimate just how totally debilitating it is!

OP posts:

Primaryteach87 · 23/03/2017 10:29

I wouldn't but I have been very ill with pregnancy sickness. If you do decide to go, get to the doctor now to get medication as the evidence is that early intervention stops it escalating. Take B6 tablets too!

JonSnowsWhore · 23/03/2017 10:29

I have had it though. I suppose all people react differently with it. I know what you're saying I barely left my room when I had it but having people around me to deal with my kids at that time so I could just relax would have been a dream come true, I would have travelled for a week of that I tell ya! Maybe that's just me though

JonSnowsWhore · 23/03/2017 10:32

Yes yes to the medication too! Alright nothing will completely take it away, I had to go through a whole string of different medications to find one that just dulled it down to a level where I could cope a little bit better, but even that was such a relief

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 23/03/2017 10:34

You can go on holliday at another time. YANBU, choose what his best for you. If you need to go to hospital or see your MW you are better off being close to home IMO.

drspouse · 23/03/2017 10:34

A quick Google comes up with some policies that cover it and others only if hospitalised.

www.travelinsurancebasics.com/pregnancy.php

So get it NOW and ask when booking it. Do you have any through your bank already?

Original poster

grinningacorn · 23/03/2017 10:35

JonSnow I know what you mean, a week with no kids would really give me the chance to hide away for a bit, I just wish I could teleport myself there though. Thanks for the tips about getting meds early though. I was told this last time (after starting meds very late) and this time round have already booked an appointment with my Dr for first thing next week to start medication in a bid to ward off full on HG.

OP posts:

Original poster

grinningacorn · 23/03/2017 10:37

@drspouse we have one of those very basic annual policies which comes with the bank. It doesn't cover cancellations and covers very basic things like luggage, but we always take out a separate proper policy which we haven't done yet. Thanks for the tip, I will look now.

OP posts:

juneau · 23/03/2017 10:37

Hmmm all these people saying 'Go, it will be fine' are a bit hazy on what HG is actually like. Vomiting 20-30 times a day while travelling on a plane and on a long car journey? That sounds hideous to me, not just for you, but also for everyone else. I think it's fair enough to see how you go, but if you do develop HG I would stay at home, perhaps with the 15-month-old, and your DH and the older DC go. Could you have someone stay with you for a week while they're away - your DM, for instance? Have you had to be hospitalised for HG in the past? Are the meds any help to you?

stitchglitched · 23/03/2017 10:38

YANBU. I had HG with both my pregnancies and no way would I travel in that state, not least because I needed regular hospital admissions and wouldn't like to have to deal with all that in another country. I couldn't even walk down the road without throwing up in a bush let alone go on a plane! Do what is best for you and your physical (and mental) health. Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy.

fivepies · 23/03/2017 10:39

I booked a holiday then fell pregnant. Suffered from HG. There was no way I could have coped with a flight never mind the holiday. So we cancelled it all. My insurance company paid out, I just had to provide a doctor's note confirming the HG.

Fingers crossed for your pregnancy and hope your HG is less severe this time around x

Stripeymug · 23/03/2017 10:39

As you have already booked and found out before buying insurance its unlikely that you will be covered tbh. As others have said do you have cover with current account etc? Speak to you Midwife about medication etc.

Once there it will be just the same as being at home/work but the journey wont be good.

user1490210924 · 23/03/2017 10:41

Have you spoke to your GP about your HG? I suffered really bad on my first a few years ago and ended up on fluids overnight. This time I suffered again really bad and again ended up on fluids overnight but I got prescribe anti sickness medication to take and it worked wonders.

JonSnowsWhore · 23/03/2017 10:41

June I'm really not 'a bit hazy' about it, I used to cry to myself every night & morning about just having to drive my kids to school. My first comment was meant in a bit of a lighthearted way, if the OP was on here saying she definitely didn't want to go then I totally get that because it is an awful thing to go through. But she's just asked for opinions etc so some people are just trying to help her out with solutions where she might still be up for going

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