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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why can't some people mind their own business?

82 replies

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:28

I actually had an older man in the street this morning and call me a bloody idiot as he rushed on by me because I crossed the road with my two children when it wasn't a green man. Despite it being safe to cross with no cars coming.

I was in a rush anyway because my Dd needed a wee but still why do I need to stop and wait if there are no cars coming?

I replied to him "oh give over. It was safe, my Dd needs a wee so mind your own business you interfering sod"

Dd then piped up with "your not an idiot mummy are you"

So I said no. Some people just need to mind their manners. All within ear shot

Bet he wouldn't have said anything if it was a man who did it with his kids.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 17/03/2017 11:30

Bet he wouldn't have said anything if it was a man who did it with his kids.

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:33

No I don't but I can't see him calling a man a bloody idiot either.

OP posts:

Chloe84 · 17/03/2017 11:34

Did you know the man? How do you know it was because you were female?

People (especially men) are generally more happy to target women with their unsolicited advice.

YANBU, OP. Glad you answered back. What was his response?

TheFlyingFauxPas · 17/03/2017 11:36

I think the safer option is to teach children to cross safely when no cars are coming etc. Teaching them to cross on the green man can mean they blindly cross when he's on because they think it's then "safe". Ds will even indignantly point out the green man in on when I screech "check it's safe!!" Before he trots into the path of a wanker driver

TheFlyingFauxPas · 17/03/2017 11:37

that was meant to be a cross out!!

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:37

He didn't say a word back. Just carried on walking though he picked the pace up a little

Guess he wasn't expecting a response but a gushing thank you for pointing out the error of my ways

OP posts:

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 17/03/2017 11:38

YANBU at all. I think you were quite restrained in your response actually.

Did he respond?

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 17/03/2017 11:38

Cross posted!

Bluntness100 · 17/03/2017 11:42

Actually made me think and yes I suspect this type of arsehole men are more willing to give women their advice, for the simple reason they wouldn't want to risk getting punched out by picking on the wrong bloke.

He's a twat, forget about it.

TheUpsideDown · 17/03/2017 11:42

How rude of him! Busy body.

I teach my son that he shouldn't just rely on the green man for road crossing. That he must always use his own initiative and common sense to assess the roads... always look, always listen. If its obviously safe to cross having assessed the road properly, even if the man is still red, then feel free to cross. If you're ever in doubt, or its clearly busy, then obviously wait for the green man to stop the traffic. It's not the law to wait for the green man.

YANBU and I'd have answered back too.

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:47

Yeah I won't think about it again now. He obviously likes being that sort of person

I was just shocked I experienced it! I've never had anything like that happen before

OP posts:

OopsDearyMe · 17/03/2017 11:50

You were an idiot, you just showed your kids not to cross safely. Your kids don't know that you know its safe, they just see you ignore the red man, he has every right to pull you up !

I expect you would be the kind of parent to blame the driver if a car hit your child following your example wrongly.

I often loudly tell my children how silly it is to ignore the red man when others do so!

Lateness or Wet knickers are more preferably to dead children.

I get it was safe this time, but next time it might not be!

PinkFlamingo545 · 17/03/2017 11:53

TBH I would have thought the same as the old man. Kids learn by example

I would NEVER have said it though

BirdPerson · 17/03/2017 11:53

I would have said what you said, but in far fewer words!

He probably thought he was being really brave, standing up to a filthy, law touting jay walker and her spawn!

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 17/03/2017 11:55

he has every right to pull you up

No he doesn't.

Op made a perfectly valid choice in the situation she was in and the bloke was a sanctimonious arse.

No wonder he didn't reply to you, he probably expected you to give a simpering apology to him and thank him for being so wonderfully manly.

It pisses me off so much when people (and it is usually men) do this. Like we are incapable of making choices based on our own circumstances, which they aren't privy to.

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:57

I've seen cars skip a red light and go through a green man....therefore it's better to teach them safety and not "wait for the green man"

This breeds laziness

OP posts:

FittonTower · 17/03/2017 11:59

Personally I always wait for the green Man if I have my children with me because kids learn by example. But regardless of that it's not ok to tell random people off in the street. And I'd be willing to bet that he wouldn't tell a man off either, I think I'd struggle to find a man that has had this happen to them

TimetohittheroadJack · 17/03/2017 12:00

I teach my children to always wait for the green man, and if we see someone else crossing the road (at the lights) without waiting I will comment that they are not allowed to do that as its not safe (not to them, but in a loud enough voice for them to hear)

Its not fine 'just this once'. What happens when they are old enough to cross the road themselves and they think 'just this once'.

Wait for the fucking lights, teach your children and the other nearby children that adults wait for the lights too.

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 12:02

Wait for the fucking lights, teach your children and the other nearby children that adults wait for the lights too.

Nope. I'm going to carry on crossing the road when it's safe to do so

OP posts:

RosesShouldBeInTins · 17/03/2017 12:03

I was really unsure if I should click on this thread....clearly I can't mind my own business!

MarklahMarklah · 17/03/2017 12:05

He was rude, and you were right to call him on it.
I usually wait for the green man when crossing roads with DD but if the lights have not yet changed, and it is safe, I will cross. I'll tell her why we are crossing.

As has been said, some drivers don't seem to feel that they need to stop for a red light. Knowing when a road is safe to cross is a useful skill.

WaitrosePigeon · 17/03/2017 12:07

You won't like but I don't think it's okay to cross without the green man.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 17/03/2017 12:08

I wait for the green man if there are kids at the crossing - even though I don't have any myself. Still rude to pull you up though.

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 12:10

Obviously what you choose to do is your choice

But I don't expect anyone to challenge me on my choice either. Not if there is no danger

And usually this is the only crossing I do ignore the green man on

It's the most annoying crossing ever. Can take a good 5 mins to take, frequently has no cars coming and sometimes even has a complete stand still if the rail lines are down.

It would be mad to stand there for ages when you could have crossed and been on your way

OP posts:

AnArrowToTheKnee · 17/03/2017 12:10

I've also seen people drive straight through when the green man is lit, and focus more on safely crossing rather than relying on the lights. Following the lights does not automatically mean a safe crossing.

If nobody is actually in danger, strangers should mind their own business.

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