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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why can't some people mind their own business?

82 replies

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 11:28

I actually had an older man in the street this morning and call me a bloody idiot as he rushed on by me because I crossed the road with my two children when it wasn't a green man. Despite it being safe to cross with no cars coming.

I was in a rush anyway because my Dd needed a wee but still why do I need to stop and wait if there are no cars coming?

I replied to him "oh give over. It was safe, my Dd needs a wee so mind your own business you interfering sod"

Dd then piped up with "your not an idiot mummy are you"

So I said no. Some people just need to mind their manners. All within ear shot

Bet he wouldn't have said anything if it was a man who did it with his kids.

OP posts:

TimetohittheroadJack · 17/03/2017 12:14

Nope. I'm going to carry on crossing the road when it's safe to do so

Traffic lights = busy and/or fast roads.

Learning to judge when its safe to cross is a life skill, and yes children should and do learn this. However its a life skill with huge consequences if they get it wrong, even just the once. Therefore, in situations where there is the option to be safer (by waiting a maximum of one minute) why would you not take it?

Its all fine and well an adult holding a toddlers hand 'judging' it to be safe, but what about an 8 year old that is crossing the road alone? Isn't the sensible option to make sure they wait for the lights every single time?

OopsDearyMe · 17/03/2017 12:16

Freedom of speech, he has every right to tell you when you do something that could have affected him ! For all you know he may have been fed up of kids ignoring road safety, our roads are more dangerous than ever and yet daily I see kids all over the bloody place, serves them right if they get hit imo

notgivingin789 · 17/03/2017 12:18

oopsdeary I hope your not the parent who told their DC's loudly (within earshot) that I was "silly" for crossing the road with DS when there was a red man....but proceeded to cross the road anyway with their DC's even though the green light didn't show up .

OP I do teach my child to cross when the green man comes on but I do tell him to make sure he looks both sides of the road and to wait for the cars to stop or he doesn't see any in sight before he crosses the road. Or I would be like to him "Even though there's a red man and we should stop there are no cars in sight so we can cross".

YANBU btw you can't blindly just teach your child to wait for the green or red man to cross the road. I nearly got run over by a car the other day as a stupid driver still drove through the red signal.

Buck3t · 17/03/2017 12:18

This thread makes no sense. Not every single road in the world uses the Green man (just in case we're talking internationally). So it makes more sense (imo) to teach our children to cross when it is safe.

How will they ever learn to cross at side roads if they are waiting for the green man? I personally don't think you are teaching your children to cross safely, you are teaching them to follow the green man, and step out without thinking. Because the Green man said so. I'd rather my child knew how to cross safely.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/03/2017 12:19

I always feel dead guilty if I cross before the green man when a parent is stood there patiently with young kids. I think YABU actually, but it was none of his business and actually you were pretty rude back to him.

TimetohittheroadJack · 17/03/2017 12:24

I don't honestly think anyone teaches their kids to 'blindly' waits on the green man . you wait for the green man AND the traffic to stop (obviously).

toomuchtooold · 17/03/2017 12:24

Soubriquet I'm just surprised this is the first time you got cheeky unsolicited advice as it started with me the first time I took my twins out in the pram at about 2 weeks old. I reckon there's a special breed of miserable bastard who thinks mothers are a soft target, presumably because as we're nice to our kids, they think we'll be nice to them. I have loudly disabused quite a number of them of this notion

pointstaken · 17/03/2017 12:25

OP, you are unreasonable, you should know by now that once you are clearly pregnant, you become public property and any busy-body is allowed to make comments and express their opinion about you and your children.

I would have ignored him and loudly advising my children that there are rude people in the world and that they shouldn't think it's ok to shout swear words in the street.

To be fair, if I see someone endangering their kids, because there are idiotic parents in the world, I find it hard to keep quiet: too close to the edge, running in front of a car or worst a train!, passing through train barriers with a buggy! I saw parents seating their kid on london bridge the other day, to take a photo. I have also seen many accidents when people cross the road, but because of the sharp turn, cannot see the cars speeding until the very last second. There are some unbelievable morons in the world.

Being in a state because a mother crosses an empty road with her kids.. that's ridiculous. You are so right to teach your kids not to cross blindly when the green man is on, that's crazy!

bloodyfuming9 · 17/03/2017 12:27

Wait for the fucking lights, teach your children and the other nearby children that adults wait for the lights too.

Nope. I'm going to carry on crossing the road when it's safe to do so

Obviously it's your choice to decide when to cross the road with your kids, but you're probably going to be an extremely worried parent when your DC start walking themselves to school etc knowing that you've taught them to totally ignore the green man.

I think traffic and crossing roads is the greatest risk and danger our children are exposed to when they start to leave the house without an adult.

StrangeLookingParasite · 17/03/2017 12:28

You were an idiot, you just showed your kids not to cross safely. Your kids don't know that you know its safe, they just see you ignore the red man, he has every right to pull you up !

No, she just taught her children to observe the actual traffic conditions rather than being a sheep.

I expect you would be the kind of parent to blame the driver if a car hit your child following your example wrongly.

I expect you're the sort of person to construct straw men that in no way bolster your argument.

I often loudly tell my children how silly it is to ignore the red man when others do so!

Then you are being an obnoxious and self-righteous know-it-all.

Lateness or Wet knickers are more preferably to dead children.

Look, another straw man. They observed the traffic conditions, and acted accordingly.

I get it was safe this time, but next time it might not be!

No, next time someone might just go straight through the red light and run them over anyway. I have seen many, many cars ignore pedestrian crossings.

Exactly.

BirdPerson · 17/03/2017 12:31

our roads are more dangerous than ever

FWIW, this is actually really not true, there are about 40% less fatal traffic accidents now than in 2005.

remoaniac · 17/03/2017 12:31

If you only ever use crossings with a green man how do your kids learn to cross roads without crossings?

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 12:33

Soubriquet I'm just surprised this is the first time you got cheeky unsolicited advice as it started with me the first time I took my twins out in the pram at about 2 weeks old.

Someone might have said something and I didn't hear them (deaf)

This man made sure I heard him so it's the first time I was properly confronted

OP posts:

MyWhatICallNameChange · 17/03/2017 12:34

He should have minded his own business. I often cross at local crossings if there is no traffic, as long as it's safe to do so. I explain to my children why we have crossed when it's red man - rather than waiting for the lights to change.

And my son has been knocked over by a car that went through a red light at a crossing, so we know that green man doesn't mean it's totally safe to cross. Thankfully my DS walked away with no injuries.

I'd rather they crossed at red man with no traffic than wait for green man and an idiot who thinks it doesn't mean they have to stop.

remoaniac · 17/03/2017 12:35

And it is really important not to assume it is safe to cross when the light is green for pedestrians. Last November two girls were killed on a pedestrian crossing in Aldershot when they crossed on a green man and a drunk driver did not stop. The case will come to court very soon.

If a road is empty, you can cross. In fact I don't even bother pressing the button if it is empty. I could press the button, it could take ages to change - and change just as a car arrives. Why hold a car up if you can cross when the road is clear?

Miserylovescompany2 · 17/03/2017 12:38

If the road is busy I'll press the button and await the green man. If the road is void of vehicles what's the point of pressing the button and looking like a complete twit on an empty road?

Common sense = look left and right if its safe to cross then do so.

MadMags · 17/03/2017 12:41

I would have told him to fuck off, then told my dc that mummy was very naughty for swearing, but the man was naughty for being an intefering old sod!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/03/2017 12:45

Usually in that situation I have found it to be the other way round - if you cross without using the green man, you get either a mother making PA remarks about 'oh we will wait for the green man as it's safer' or whatever or the child saying 'mummy, that lady didn't wait'

Some people are always going to comment

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/03/2017 12:46

Not sure what relevance his age has?

Original poster

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 12:49

Just setting the scene I guess

or pointing out he was older than me anyway

He wasn't elderly but he was defintely older

OP posts:

gandalf456 · 17/03/2017 12:52

I dunno. Everyone ignores you until you have kids unless you have a dog then it's the same - everyone is watching in case it shots somewhere.

I do wait for the green man personally because you never know and also my kids won't be able to judge the way I can. But you are an adult and it's your judgement, not the old man's

VeritysWatchTower · 17/03/2017 13:06

but you're probably going to be an extremely worried parent when your DC start walking themselves to school

Err no, never happened to me when Ds started walking himself to secondary school. I would rather teach them to try to judge speed and distance of a car than rely on the green man telling my child when to cross.

I would honestly feel completely ridiculous in Leeds city centre when the road is obviously clear of traffic, it is safe to cross and 50 people all cross the road when the red man is showing, and I stood there like a melon holding my children back because we have to wait for the green man.

Starlighter · 17/03/2017 13:14

The majority of roads around my area do not have green man crossings, so we have to use our common sense and judgement when crossing the road. Shocking, I know!

I do try to make a point of waiting for the green man if it's there, for the kids' benefit, but if the roads are completely empty and I was in your situation, OP, I'd just cross the god damn road! The kids are with a grown up and grown ups should know how to cross the road without help.

And plenty of cars do red lights, it's not a fail safe!

gluteustothemaximus · 17/03/2017 13:19

I'm with Soubriquet.

I teach my kids to cross safely, green light or not.

I'm not going to stand there like a lemon, when there is no traffic for miles, waiting for the green man to tell me to cross.

How do you cross a road without lights then?! Poor kid waits there, saying 'can't cross, no light to tell me what to do!'

ShowMePotatoSalad · 17/03/2017 13:21

Chuckling at the concept that parents who wait for the green man at traffic lights aren't able to teach their kids to cross on roads without traffic lights. Daft logic.

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