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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put DS in a cupboard?

62 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 06/03/2017 08:45

I know I am... but oh dear god the whining.

He is 4 months old, woke up crying several times in night, cried non stop from 2-3:30am and now is whining because he is tired but he won't go down for a nap! He doesn't like being cuddled or comforted so very little I can do when he cries to make it better.

Today is going to be a long day.

OP posts:

NapQueen · 06/03/2017 08:48

Couldnt he even be comforted with a feed? 1.5 hrs crying non stop is a massively long time

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 08:49

I get that you are joking and that babies can be really trying

But for your own benefit, try not to use the word "whining" in association with a baby. Toddlers whine. Babies don't.

MrsWildermac · 06/03/2017 08:50

It sounds like he could be teething. Could you give him some calpol and he might settle to sleep then? A crying baby is rough but he needs you, he's only little, even if he doesn't want to be cuddled, he needs your presence.

Hope your day gets better.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 06/03/2017 08:51

When DD was that age, I remember posting on FB something like 'I know I can't put the baby in the shed, but can I go and sleep in the shed?' It was the depths of winter and still seemed more appealing than another night like the one you've described. Very soon after that, it got better. Coffee and cake will get you through. Xxx

ZeroDarkHurty · 06/03/2017 08:52

It sounds like he was either sick or hungry in the night (if waking is unusual for him? Most babies still wake a few times in the night to feed at 4 months). I imagine you fed him during the 1.5hr awake time, so I'd probably keep an eye on him for a fever or other signs of illness today. Some babies for have a sleep regression around that age too, so could just be one of those baby things.

alltogethernow123 · 06/03/2017 08:53

Oh dead

I don't think the OP needs a sanctimonious retort.

Try a feed OP and have a completely chilled out day with lots of catch up to if you're zonked

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/03/2017 08:55

I know what you mean. Just a little break from it would be nice, eh? I think by whining, you mean that sort of grizzling rather than full on crying? Mine used to do that and it can go on and on..

If it's unusual for him, he maybe feeling a bit poorly or coming down with a cold? If he does nap, have a rest yourself.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 06/03/2017 08:55

Just put a heavy chair in front of it so he can't get out.

StarlingMurderation · 06/03/2017 09:00

1.5 hrs crying non stop is a massively long time

My son would regularly cry for hours at a stretch - he'd be warm, dry, changed, full tummy and cuddled in my arms but still screaming. It turned out he had CMPA and bad silent reflux, so was in pain almost all the time. OP, if he's regularly like this, could you get your GP to start investigations?

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:03

OP: Mine does that. I found the best solution is to climb into bed, do skin to skin and just feed constantly.

Dearlittleflo · 06/03/2017 09:03

Could he be coming down with something? I always found my son was like this when he about to get a cold.

Would suggest taking it really easy, lots of feeds, try to get some naps yourself if you can.

TupperwareTat · 06/03/2017 09:06

Probably the last thing you want to hear, but put him in a sling. Im sure he will get used to it.

Can you go out for a walk today or swimming?

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 09:11

alltogethernow123 yes I suppose my reply was sanctimonious, but I actually made an effort to make it sound measured. Like I said, I get it. Babies can be really tough. I hate the baby stage actually.

But I meant what I said. It's actually unhelpful (for the OP) to think of her baby - practically still a newborn - as whining. Whining is sort of wilful and irritating. Babies aren't capable of that. They aren't manipulative.

I do feel for the OP though.

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 09:12

Trifleorbust jesus christ, calm down.

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:15

DeadGood: Or you could reconsider your sanctimonious response to the OP? For some reason your reply to her perfectly reasonable post was in admonishment her for her language. I genuinely find this inexplicable.

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:16

Whining is sort of wilful and irritating

No, it isn't. Whining is a noise.

RainyDayBear · 06/03/2017 09:22

My DD whined at that age. She was clearly advanced

If he's fighting the nap is having a morning walk in the pram - ideally to a place with coffee and cake - so he nods off an option?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 06/03/2017 09:23

YABU. Dear God woman.

You'll still be able to hear him! You need a kindly neighbour to make space in one of their cupboards!

😂

DeadGood I actually agree with your sentiment (if not your wording), I was expecting this to be a toddler/child not a baby. Very small babies really don't whine, they cry or whimper or scream because something is bothering them. It's bloody awful when it's endless, but still not quite as bloody annoying as toddlers/kids whining. It's better not to think of small babies as whining, but as crying/hurting/upset as it's easier to empathise with them & retain some sanity, whereas if you think if it as whining (complaining about nothing) it makes it worse!

MaryMorpho · 06/03/2017 09:27

When DS was newborn I had a maternity group friend whose baby used to whine non-stop. It drove me mad for just a few minutes, so I was really sorry for her (well both of them!). I completely believe it wasn't wilful or manipulative and that babies don't do that, but it had a petulant sound to it that made it really hard to listen to. I think OP is OK to describe it a "whining" and to find it really hard.

Mine only used to do similar when coming down with a bug, it could well be that. I'd wrap them up warm in the buggy, go out and hope they'd eventually get a nap (and at that point immediately stop at a cafe for coffee and magazine).

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 09:28

OP: I'm sorry, my reply hit the wrong note. I send you sympathy - crying babies can drive me to the edge of reason, those days are behind me (for the moment) so I can only say I hope you are hanging in there!

Trifle as it's still not clear - I was reacting to the idea that a baby is wilfully being awful. How you or I read the word "whining" is really beside the point. Clearly, we think it means different things which is why I reacted differently to the OP than you did.

There are people in the world who genuinely believe that babies can be "spoilt" or can manipulate their caregivers. I was reacting to that.

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:29

Mine whines. The noise is worse than full-blown screaming. It doesn't help to hear people telling you it isn't whining and basically implying you need to be more motherly

TiredMumToTwo · 06/03/2017 09:29

I remember being in tears with my 4 month old who wouldn't settle - think it was teething. A friend of mine took him, held him quite tightly & literally did squats until he calmed down. I used to do this every now & again or any kind of gentle, quick movement. I find any monotonous movement good - do you have a bouncy chair or swing you can put him in?

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 09:30

"It's better not to think of small babies as whining, but as crying/hurting/upset as it's easier to empathise with them & retain some sanity, whereas if you think if it as whining (complaining about nothing) it makes it worse!"

Thanks Annie

Also agree with the pram walk idea. Even though getting out of the house can seem really insurmountable, things are always better once you get outside OP x

abigwideworld · 06/03/2017 09:32

My 4 month old can definitely whine. I feel for you OP. We had a blissful three weeks of 4-5 hour chunks which have sadly ended completely in favour of 2 hourly wake ups. Coffee, TV and cake are the only things I've found that help so far!

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