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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put DS in a cupboard?

62 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 06/03/2017 08:45

I know I am... but oh dear god the whining.

He is 4 months old, woke up crying several times in night, cried non stop from 2-3:30am and now is whining because he is tired but he won't go down for a nap! He doesn't like being cuddled or comforted so very little I can do when he cries to make it better.

Today is going to be a long day.

OP posts:

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 09:35

Actually Trifle I've just remembered that you were the one saying they wouldn't make room for a wheelchair user on a bus, so... couldn't really give a hoot what you think of my choice of words

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 09:37

DeadGood:

Doesn't make what you said any more helpful, but knock yourself out.

NavyandWhite · 06/03/2017 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lules · 06/03/2017 09:41

Seriously earplugs help if you are really on the edge. You can still hear it but it's less stressful.

Abraiid2 · 06/03/2017 10:01

Mine did something a friend called gurning when they were babies and it was a kind of whining. Not crying, not distressed, but obviously feeling out of sorts.

I felt sorry for them but also for myself too.

Miserylovescompany2 · 06/03/2017 10:05

I had a one like that. I couldn't put him down without him being distressed. I ate with one hand holding him, had very quick baths with him in his bouncer. No breaks whatsoever. I could of quite happily of sat in a darkened cupboard wearing ear defenders. Anything for a break from the constant noise. It doesn't last forever. It bloody well feels like it when you are dealing with it though.

If it's full of crying for over an hour and nothing you do helps or comforts, I'd get little one checked out at the GP. Could be colic?

TheFirstMrsDV · 06/03/2017 10:06

FWIW I don't think Dead was being sanctimonious.

Its often helpful to think of behaviour in different ways. Its easy to get into the mindset that kids are doing things on purpose or that they hate us or all manner of things that make us feel like crap parents.

Its not a criticism, its more 'have you thought about calling it 'x' instead of 'y' because that always makes me feel less rubbish'.

And your attitude to buggies on buses is relevant because it indicates someone who is either goady or thick.

Soubriquet · 06/03/2017 10:07

Ah I feel for you OP

Like a pp, mine screamed all day and night due to undiagnosed CMPA and reflux. It's amazing he reached toddlerhood as I had never been as sleep deprived and stressed as I was then.

Do take care of yourself. I do agree with wrapping up warm and getting out the house. It can help so much. Even if it's a walk around the park. It doesn't sound so loud when outside

TheFirstMrsDV · 06/03/2017 10:08

OP there this is nothing like the sound of your own child crying and grizzling to send you bonkers

I expect you have tried everything, slings, walk in the pram, fresh air, a drive and rocking etc.

Ear plugs, cup of tea and fingers crossed it doesn't last too much longer.

Applebite · 06/03/2017 10:09

When DD was tiny, and wouldn't stop crying one day - unless she had the boob in her mouth - I remember lying her on the bed and sinking to my knees next to it and crying too. I was thinking, "what does she want from me? it can't possibly be more boob dairy!"

that phase didn't last more than a week or so. at the time every minute feels like a year, and it's awfully exhausting, but honestly it WILL pass and then the time will start to fly, and you'll look down at your massive toddler pulling everything off every shelf and wonder where your tiny baby went.

And then you'll cry again!!

agree with taking him for a walk and maybe do something to treat yourself, whether that's a cake or a new bubble bath or something. this too shall pass!

NavyandWhite · 06/03/2017 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrangeLookingParasite · 06/03/2017 10:24

1.5 hrs crying non stop is a massively long time

Hah, when son was tiny, one awful, awful day he cried for seven hours. (and yes, I did all the usuals to try to comfort him, he was just having a Really Bad Day)

I hope it gets better for you, Alive.

Molehillfromamountain · 06/03/2017 10:26

Do you have alpha ball or birthing ball? I used to sit DD on my knee and bounce...for hours. You have my sympathy, DS is 12 months and has taken to getting up for an hour in the middle of the night whining like a fog horn.

PoohBearsHole · 06/03/2017 10:30

OP. This will pass. I promise.

Try calpol, teething gels, take temp. Obviously hes not feeling on top form but being a baby he can't tell you. If it makes any difference ds is 6 and still can't always articulate what is wrong with himself :) - the other day he told me he felt really sick - cue me running to the car door opening it and sticking his head out - then he burped, got out the car and asked for chocolate

Remember, unless you are going to save the world today from a previous appointment there is NOTHING that is urgent, try cuddling him, try a dummy, try a boob, try a bottle. Then when your dp comes back tonight give him to him and have a bath :)

Trifleorbust · 06/03/2017 10:33

TheFirstMrsDV:

I am not goady. Whether or not I am thick isn't for me to say, but at least I know what 'whining' means.

DixieNormas · 06/03/2017 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlingMurderation · 06/03/2017 10:55

Like a pp, mine screamed all day and night due to undiagnosed CMPA and reflux. It's amazing he reached toddlerhood as I had never been as sleep deprived and stressed as I was then.

I don't know if this is quite what you meant, but I too look back and wonder how I didn't smother DS. I remember one particular morning, we were both in bed, DP had gone to work, and DS was just screaming non-stop into my face. I still had terrible SPD so going for a walk or even standing and bouncing was impossible. I felt like he hated me and I certainly hated motherhood right then. It's awful but having a baby like DS has made me understand how people can snap and shake their babies (though obviously don't condone or excuse it).

StarlingMurderation · 06/03/2017 10:57

And I really really wish someone had advised me to try earplugs at the time. I bet it would have made a world of difference.

listsandbudgets · 06/03/2017 11:24

Bless you OP. I went through a stage when I fantasised about being admitted to hospital with something none fatal with something very contagious so I'd be put in a side room, regularly fed and medicated and rarely have to leave my bed for a week or two.

YANBU to feel like you do but actually doing it would probably not be such a great plan.... not least because most cupboards aren't sound proofed

Agree about getting him outside for a walk, trying some teething products and if it comes to it try co-sleeping. Have you got any ashton and parsons teething powder. It worked really well for dd though not so much for DS (who I strongly suspect liked the taste of calpol and would wail until I gave in!)

Hope you get some sleep soon

Applebite · 06/03/2017 12:24

Starling - I think that's an amazingly honest post. So many people (not on this thread, just in the world in general!) make out that it's all brilliant and easy, and that can make a struggling mum feel even worse.

DeadGood · 06/03/2017 12:25

TheFirstMrsDV - marry me?

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 06/03/2017 12:45

Thank you everyone for the support.

The noise he makes is definitely a whine! It's not proper crying, just grumbling and is because he is tired.

He wakes every 2 hours to be fed in the night. I fed him at 2am and then again at 3:15am and he finally settled at 3:30. He usually goes straight back down after a feed so something was bothering him. He doesn't like cuddles but I obviously didn't leave him to cry himself. I walked round with him, rocked him, and then put him in bed with me and held his hand.

He is definitely starting teething so that isn't helping. He has just gone down for a nap, usually does 2 hours at lunch time but had to stay in as it's raining here so not sure he will do as long with not being in the pushchair!

OP posts:

NapQueen · 06/03/2017 12:47

Calpol will probably help with the teeth and if he is in the middle of teething id use it as a profilactic.

Dose before a feed in the night as it can take 20 mins to start to work then he should be pain free for a good chunk of time.

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 06/03/2017 12:51

He had his final vaccinations on Friday and so I think he is probably out of sorts from that still. He also has a bad cold and cough.

I know he isn't doing it on purpose, and I know he feels out of sorts. But I've been up all night and I'm shattered and just wanted 5 minutes without the noise!

My friend has been over this morning so I've at least had some company. Going to have some lunch now and then will do a walk this afternoon once he has woken up from his nap.

OP posts:

StarlingMurderation · 06/03/2017 14:27

Thanks Applebite. It was a testing time but the consolation is that DS is a very easy toddler, esp in comparison to those early months.

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