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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be driven mad by a colleague

60 replies

Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 09:55

There's a new guy at work, he's been here for about a month, he sits opposite me and is driving me insane already. He is constantly sniffing...not just a little sniff but a really big sniff that you can hear in the back of his throat. When he started doing it I did ask him to go and blow his nose and he said why, at which point I told him that he was constantly sniffing and it was annoying. Since then, he continues to do it but what he seems to think is 'stealth sniffing'. It isn't and I'm close to breaking point with it, it's really disgusting.

It's annoying others too but they are too scared to say something. He is not liked within the company for other reasons too and I'm worried that that is what is causing my extra annoyance with him...because I know he's an idiot anyway and the sniffing is the icing on the cake.
AIBU to tell him to stop again? Or should I just go to his boss and say something? I work very closely with his boss and could just make a passing comment that his sniffing is driving me and others insane rather than make a big deal of it.

OP posts:
steff13 · 03/03/2017 09:57

Wow, he's only been there a month an people already dine like him for multiple reasons?

steff13 · 03/03/2017 09:58

Don't

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:02

I'd just ask him to stop again. If that doesn't work speak to his manager.
I had to tell a woman she absolutely reeked of smoke. No one in our office smokes except her and it's not just like 1 cigarette outside, I think she smokes in her car and home so the smell just sticks to her and her handbag etc. Seems a bit better after I spoke up. I also had to ask my boss to not let a guy use my desk on the days I'm not there as he has terrible psoriasis and leaves mountains of skin all over my desk, keyboard, phone.
Why are people not aware of these things?!

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:03

Oh and the smokey woman sucks on her fingernails all day and slurps endless pears all day long. Gives me the absolute rage!

Original poster
Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 10:03

Yep. He's quite rude; talks over people, seems to think he is above everyone else and he seems to have a problem with women, which both men and women have picked up on. He's just a bit of an idiot. The disgusting sniffing is just the cherry on an already horrible cake Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 10:05

Whisky that sound horrendous - particularly the psoriasis Shock

OP posts:
Mingewithafringe · 03/03/2017 10:11

Does he have sinus problems? I do, and no amount of nose blowing clears the mucus, in fact it can make it worse and can cause irritation around the skin of your nostrils. Maybe he has a problem and people should be a bit sympathetic

Original poster
Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 10:13

@Mingewithafringe Surely if he had a sinus problem he would have said the first time I mentioned the sniffing??

OP posts:
memyselfandaye · 03/03/2017 10:16

Buy him some Otrivine, that'll clear him out.

Mingewithafringe · 03/03/2017 10:16

He might feel embarrassed talking about it. Mine was caused by an elective rhinoplasty that went wrong. Biggest mistake of my life and I'm left with a lifelong sinus problem. I'd be mortified to talk about it or draw attention to what might have caused it, particularly with a colleague I'd known for a month

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:17

Yeh it's not great. Smoky lady annoys me more because it's just non stop noises and I have misophonia. The guy with psoriasis is lovely.

Originalfoogirl · 03/03/2017 10:27

I'd speak to his line manager, or get some earphones. It's the peril of an open plan office.

whisky. You're sensitive to noise and that's your colleagues fault?

TENSHI · 03/03/2017 10:29

Tell your manager, ask him to be moved. Give your reasons.

Keep telling him he is being offensive, why should you be the one to suffer?

Resentment that builds can cause stomach ulcers so definitely do something op!

I once was faced with telling someone who absolutely reeked of B.O so much so I was gagging just trying to get my words out that they needed to get a new washing machine as the one they had obviously wasn't working (it seemed the most diplomatic way of pointing it out).

Other people left that for me to do because they were to weakwilled themselves. Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns for your own sanity.

shovetheholly · 03/03/2017 10:32

Ugh. I feel your pain. I sometimes work in a university library, and this kid has taken to coming and sitting opposite me. He sniffs constantly and always seems to be ill. I suspect he has some MH problems (he does things like drinking out of other people's drinks bottles), and even though my rational head says I must be tolerant and kind, inside I'm just struggling to get over being repulsed by the constant snorting. (It's not just a little sniff, it's a proper snore of a thing).

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2017 10:34

I used to work with a sniffer

Turned out she had sinus problems and some quite severe allergies.

In the end, I just had to get used to it.

allthingslipsticks · 03/03/2017 10:35

That's really disgusting, I feel for you OP. I would record the horrible noise on my phone and play it to his superior. Explain that this colleague makes this awful noise constanltly and say that it is distracting you from your work. If other people besides you complained, that would surely stregnthen your case and show that YANBU.

BillDoor · 03/03/2017 10:36

I moved desks recently.
The reasons I gave for the move was that the guy I sat opposite chews with his mouth open. (Really wet snuffle chewing too!! Envy

JungleInTheRumble · 03/03/2017 10:41

I can totally sympathise with you. The woman opposite me does this. Burps. Talks to herself. Sings to herself. It drives me bananas!

It's hard to know what to do about it though. Like what could your boss do? The guy's obviously not concerned about your dislike of his sniffing so why would he be any different if your boss said something. Do you think the reason he hasn't listened to you is because of his attitude towards women?

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:43

original.. I am sensitive to certain noises and the slurping and sucking is LOUD. It irritates my other colleagues too but I guess me more so because I have misophonia.
I have never told the colleague to stop stucking or slurping but it is disgusting to listen to. It just seems like she is so unaware of how horrible it sounds or quite how loud it is. Who the fuck sucks on their fingers nails? And we are talking long yellow finger nails. Ugh

Original poster
Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 10:47

@JungleInTheRumble I couldn't cope with someone burping opposite me all the time!!

Boss could maybe have a word with him about it? But I don't really know to be honest. I definitely think the fact that I am a woman and told him to stop is part of the issue - he looked pretty annoyed when I did tell him. He did go and blow his nose 20 mins later though, but it was almost like a defiant 'I will do it when I fell like it, not because you told me to'.
I'm trying to glare at him every time he sniffs at the mo, but he's pretending to ignore me Hmm

OP posts:
Megatherium · 03/03/2017 10:48

Suggest to HR that he be referred to occupational health or asked to see his GP to get his sniffing sorted out, and ask that he be moved away from you in the meantime. I really sympathise, constant sniffing really irritates me and the snorting type of sniff makes me feel ill.

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:49

Just say "can you use a tissue please?" Every.single.time.

Megatherium · 03/03/2017 10:50

whisky. You're sensitive to noise and that's your colleagues fault?

Well, yes, when she's making totally avoidable slurping and sucking sounds. No-one should be doing that in a shared working environment, whether their colleagues have misophonia or not.

Whisky2014 · 03/03/2017 10:53

Exactly Mega
I know it's not just me being over sensitive anyway because others in the office mention it too. I sit nearest to her which is unfortunate and no other desks to move to.

There's a basic etiquette that some people just don't seem to "get".

Greyponcho · 03/03/2017 10:55

Put a box of tissues on his desk.

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