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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be driven mad by a colleague

60 replies

Percypig88 · 03/03/2017 09:55

There's a new guy at work, he's been here for about a month, he sits opposite me and is driving me insane already. He is constantly sniffing...not just a little sniff but a really big sniff that you can hear in the back of his throat. When he started doing it I did ask him to go and blow his nose and he said why, at which point I told him that he was constantly sniffing and it was annoying. Since then, he continues to do it but what he seems to think is 'stealth sniffing'. It isn't and I'm close to breaking point with it, it's really disgusting.

It's annoying others too but they are too scared to say something. He is not liked within the company for other reasons too and I'm worried that that is what is causing my extra annoyance with him...because I know he's an idiot anyway and the sniffing is the icing on the cake.
AIBU to tell him to stop again? Or should I just go to his boss and say something? I work very closely with his boss and could just make a passing comment that his sniffing is driving me and others insane rather than make a big deal of it.

OP posts:

nokidshere · 04/03/2017 00:34

I also had to ask my boss to not let a guy use my desk on the days I'm not there as he has terrible psoriasis and leaves mountains of skin all over my desk, keyboard, phone.
Why are people not aware of these things?!

nokidshere · 04/03/2017 00:53

the guy with psoriasis doesn't know he was told to sit at another desk because of it. I told my manager that I was having to clean my desk everything the guy had been sitting there and my manager said "ok, I'll just tell him to sit at another desk". It's not like my manager is gona say "you're leaving skin everywhere" or something

Oh and you think he wouldn't know? You don't think that every time he moves, sits on someone else's chair, takes a lift in someone's car, that he isn't completely mortified and embarrassed at leaving skin behind? You seriously think that he doesn't notice?

You really don't think that he doesn't get up every morning and have to brace himself for stares, judgements and ignorance that he is going to endure every day?

You really think that he never tries to clear up after himself? Try putting talc on your arms and wiping up the bits that got on the desk - while you are doing that more is falling off so the clean desk still has talc on it and so on and so on...

Get yourself some desk wipes and a bit of compassion! Try and think how you might feel in his position.

And if you don't think he will know why he has been asked to not used your desk then you are pretty stupid, totally selfish, or both

Whisky2014 · 04/03/2017 09:15

Um no. He has his own desk he just chooses to use mine some days. We have strict EHS on site where you have to have your desk station set up to your requirements ie. Monitor at my eye level, chair height at my level, so for all he knows it's so as not to ruin my set up.
He doesn't have to sit at my desk, there's no real reason for it, he just chooses to. And yet if he is so aware of leaving skin all over my desk (which he absolutely does not clean up) then I think you could say it's actually selfish of him to leave that for me to come in to. Why should I clear it up?
I know psoriasis is a horrible condition, I am not blaming hIm for having it but I don't think it's a big deal to wipe up his own skin.

Whisky2014 · 04/03/2017 09:17

sally yeh im sure i wouldn't have a problem if it was on the photocopier. It's the fact it's on my desk and it's a lot of skin.

LouKout · 04/03/2017 09:19

I ahve sinus problems and allergies.

I use nasal sprays and blow my nose, i dont sit and sniff all day at work.

CottonSock · 04/03/2017 09:19

I once left a note on someone's desk who did this.. drove me mad, and everyone else nearby

Redsrule · 04/03/2017 09:30

Be kind? This is a really bitchy thread. Guess what, all the posters who are so judgemental, including OP, quite possibly also have traits that are really annoying.

Sundance01 · 04/03/2017 09:54

I feel your agony - I once sat on a train next to someone clicking his false teeth - it was only an hours journey and I think I was closer to murdering him than anyone else in my life.

The problem is this type of noise is intensely irritating and grinds on your nerves but it is probably a habit he has fallen into and is completely unaware he is doing it. Its not his fault you are sensitive to it but not your fault either.

I know nothing about your company but is it possible to move desks. Speak to your boss but if you go in blaming the other guy you may not get sympathy. Take the approach you know you are being silly, you really do not want to upset the guy, you have really tried to switch off but it's driving you mad etc you might have a better response.

Could you wear earphones?

Expecting him to totally change his behaviour is probably unrealistic

Electrolens · 04/03/2017 10:05

I'd ask him again to stop.

I think if everyone in the office has decided they dislike him after only a month it doesn't sound a nice office though. Give him a second chance on that front.

whisky how vile. I hope you never have a chronic immune condition that requires medication with unpleasant side effects, regular hospital visits,triggers depression and affects every aspect of your daily life. Have some empathy.

Whisky2014 · 04/03/2017 12:16

I do but it's not on for me to clean someone's skin off my desk.

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