To be driven mad by a colleague

[Percypig88]

There's a new guy at work, he's been here for about a month, he sits opposite me and is driving me insane already. He is constantly sniffing...not just a little sniff but a really big sniff that you can hear in the back of his throat. When he started doing it I did ask him to go and blow his nose and he said why, at which point I told him that he was constantly sniffing and it was annoying. Since then, he continues to do it but what he seems to think is 'stealth sniffing'. It isn't and I'm close to breaking point with it, it's really disgusting.

It's annoying others too but they are too scared to say something. He is not liked within the company for other reasons too and I'm worried that that is what is causing my extra annoyance with him...because I know he's an idiot anyway and the sniffing is the icing on the cake.
AIBU to tell him to stop again? Or should I just go to his boss and say something? I work very closely with his boss and could just make a passing comment that his sniffing is driving me and others insane rather than make a big deal of it.

Am I the only one who feels sorry for the person with psoriasis who is annoying people with the flaky skin? jeeeeeez!

Ask for sniffy bloke .. Ask him to use a tissue, or get an mp3 player and stick some soft music in your ear so you don't have to hear it.

Uggg. I sat next to a sniffer on the bus last week, 10 minutes (probably less) and it nearly sent me demented.

Yes to passing tissues to him EVERY time.

Ask to move desks or ideally for them to be moved.

I have a similar problem btw...with smells rather than sounds. I cannot share space with anyone that smells.

I feel for the poor fella, you sound horrible - Your behaviour is tantamount to bullying, what age are you? Grow up!

whisky All your colleagues? Every single one of them? Or did the two you spoke to nod and hmmm in agreement.

Who sucks their fingernails? This lady does. I dare say because there is pear juice under them.

I guess you don't have any habits at all.

This is the fourth thread this morning that is basically "people aren't behaving the way I expect them to behave and that is all their fault, I invite you to judge them too"

If you can't deal with people and their habits, go work in a job where you don't have to deal with people.

Mega
Why shouldn't she? Because you decree it's unacceptable? It doesnt bother me in the slightest, it's what people do sometimes when they eat fruit. And unless she's on 20 pears a day, it's a couple of minutes. Get over it.

I've worked in open plan offices for 25 years. Sometimes people do things I don't like. The biggest dislike I have is when people sit and bitch about what that person over there does that's reeeeealy annoying. People need to grow up and accept that different folks do different things.

I had to tell a woman she absolutely reeked of smoke. No one in our office smokes except her and it's not just like 1 cigarette outside, I think she smokes in her car and home so the smell just sticks to her and her handbag etc.

^^

This - except I'm too much of a wimp to tell her - she spends half of her working day out smoking and comes back into our lovely bright office and makes it stink - I love love love it when she's off - I did ask for a seat move because of how she smells and got it ...

Emeraldscorn Bullying? By asking someone to blow their nose?? Wow

I'd be mortified to talk about it or draw attention to what might have caused it, particularly with a colleague I'd known for a month

If you say "oh i'm sorry about the sniffing, I have bad sinus issues" no one is going to be liek "why? WHY? WHY do you have bad sinuses?? did oyu have a shit nose job? Did you? huh? Nose job???"

Am I the only one who feels sorry for the person with psoriasis who is annoying people with the flaky skin? jeeeeeez!

Yeah I feel bad for him, but I woudln;t like to come back to my desk and find someone elses dead skin all over my keyboard. Mouse and keyboard are gross enough with just me using them!

OP, I don't agree that you sound horrible or with the bullying comment.

15 years in the same office showed me how much other people's habits can affect you. Out of pragmatism, personally, I'd ask boss if you can move desks - I'd explain why, and let them handle it. At least that way, you're offering a solution.

My brother has always had allergy, sinus issues and asthma. He sniffles constantly, has nosebleeds and insomnia frequently because of the sniffles, and no amount of nose wiping, medication or trips to the GP or ENT specialists has fixed it. If he wipes his nose too much he ends up with his skin raw and bleeding too because it never gets a break from the sniffles to heal.

He had teachers in school who excluded him because of it, and gets dirty looks and tissues handed to him by strangers. A lot of people are unwilling to sit near him because they assume he's contagious. I think it makes it harder for him to make friends and has led to him having social anxiety.

If the sniffler may have medical issues, repeatedly commenting on his sniffles or passing tissues is not at all a kind thing to do. By all means have a word with HR or his manager and suggest they prompt him to go to the doctor if he hasn't already, but otherwise I think you should just find a way to cope with the noise.

kirora thanks for your empathetic post but for your information, yes you are right, normal people wouldn't immediately ask you if you've had a nose job but it has placed me in situations where I've made up a lie on the spot, and I felt uncomfortable about it . Eg

Person: oh you've not had much luck recently, you've got a cold again, you should have some time off and rest.
Me: oh no i have a sinus problem, not a cold, don't worry
Person: do you have swollen nasal polyps?
Me: I don't think so, I've seen an ENT about it
Person : if it's polyps you can get them removed
Me: not sure if it is
Person: do you get headaches as well
Me: yes
Person: that must be frustrating, have you had it your whole life?
Etc etc until I change the subject completely or walk away

*BillDoor
I moved desks recently.
The reasons I gave for the move was that the guy I sat opposite chews with his mouth open. (Really wet snuffle chewing too!! envy

How do you know he doesn't sort himself out properly after using the toilet???? Did he actually stink of shit?

Yup!
Visible evidence too...

I'm absolutely amazed it's not been dealt with to be honest. I got through a lot of Antibacterial wipes when I sat nearby.
Luckily most of the office are not customer facing!
I share a little office with the boss and a lovely lady now.

Oh dear god.

I am not suited to open plan offices or working closely with other people really and I've left jobs because I couldn't put up with the noise people make but THAT would make me blow a fucking gasket. There is no need for that kind of thing at all. I'd be regularly reporting that and asking for him to be spoken to by the nurse about hygiene etc.

litlrfrog the guy with psoriasis doesn't know he was told to sit at another desk because of it. I told my manager that I was having to clean my desk everything the guy had been sitting there and my manager said "ok, I'll just tell him to sit at another desk". It's not like my manager is gona say "you're leaving skin everywhere" or something. Also, he does have his own desk in a different office, he was just using my desk for certain days over busy accounting days where it's easier to get signatures/saves time. But sitting at my desk is not necessary if you see what I mean?

original yes ALL colleagues who sit on the same office find her habbits immensely irritating and disgusting. Obviously people popping into the office every now an again don't notice so much because they don't sit there and listen to it all day long. But obviously you can't say "stop slurping" so yes, I am irritated and I am allowed to be. She isn't constantly sucking pear juice from her nails ffs she just constantly sucks on them and it's like hugggeee slurp noises.
She is a nice enough woman but just disgusting habits that frankly, in open plan offices, is just not on.
It's not about judging, it's about empathising with others who also have to put up with shoddy behavioural habits.

Im a lifelong psoriasis sufferer , Im a bit upset at how you are coming across r.e the bloke in your office however if you don't have a skin condition then maybe you don't really understand how it may be affecting him. You've already asked that he doesn't use your computer so does he know why? I'd be left feeling lower than low if I was ever told that. I get it though Ive seen how people look at me . Perhaps his treatment if hes on any isnt working . Maybe if he ever talks about it you can ask. There are biological drug therapies (I am on these) sometimes some people just dont react well to the treatments before these. Also yes we do leave mountains of skin (crappy way of putting it thanks) but if we are aware of it we do our best to clear it up or at least I do.

Aah x post . Makes sense whiskey.

Jeeeeeze - I'm with littlefrog and originalfoolgirl on this thread.

Learn a little human kindness and tolerance.

It sounds like it's all about judging 'shoddy behavioural habits'.

Resentment that builds can cause stomach ulcers so definitely do something op!

Medical diagnosis of the week award 😏

I don't think its fair to be called judgey because you don't want to listen to disgusting and annoying noises all day.

There is acceptable public behavior and then there is what is deemed as not. To sit and tap your pen or squeak your chair or thump your keyboard or mutter to yourself or sniff etc constantly is very selfish too, if other people are trying to concentrate and work it can disrupt a lot of people.

And also, telling people they are judgey is also judgey, how do people know whether the people that comment on this stuff don't have misophonia, which is its own condition itself?

Originalfoogirl, people shouldn't make repellent and avoidable noises in the office environment on a regular basis because of a concept called being considerate of other people.

I think some people are missing the distinction between ordinary sniffing, which is irritating but just about tolerable, and the snorty back of the throat sniffing and snorting that this person is doing. That sort of thing would really make me feel quite ill.

My manager has really bad psoriasis. The photocopier is the only thing I've noticed to be covered in skin. You know what what though? I'm sure him living with it is worse than me having to deal with it.

The sniffing thing in the op. I work in an office of 10 people. The all have their little things that piss me off but unless it was severely impacting my working day ( sniffing is no big deal) then I'd just shut the fuck up and get on with it.