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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Villa and rooms

76 replies

Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 20:33

We are going on holiday in august and have booked a large villa in Italy. It sleeps 8 and we have 6 in our family so two spare rooms. So we asked the dc and dsc who are all in sixth form if they have any friends they would like to come and my dd is taking her boyfriend who we know very well and who's family we know and my ds has suggested taking a family friends son who ds is close with and whose parents wouldn't be able to take him away.

Today my dss has asked me if his friend could come and we don't know them and this is a month after my two dc asked about the first two options.

Aibu to tell him no.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 27/02/2017 20:38

If you have room then why not let him come? You could meet up with the boy and his parents before hand to get to know them a bit

Of course if you don't have room then yanbu

DoublyTroubly · 27/02/2017 20:39

Of course you are being unreasonable to say no to him. Why would you deny him a friend to bring when your own children are allowed to choose a friend each. It really needs to be all or nothing. You're just going to need to find a way to squeeze everyone in!

EllaHen · 27/02/2017 20:46

YABU. Massively so. Either they are all treated equally and get to bring a friend or they don't. It's not dss's fault that you don't know his friend. Poor lad. ----> Commence drip feed about how he is most certainly not a poor lad.

whitesnake80 · 27/02/2017 20:50

IF there are two spare rooms, could your DD's boyfriend and your DS's friend share? Which would then leave another room for friend(s) if your DSC

MimiSunshine · 27/02/2017 20:51

I don't know why you'd say no? Is it no to the one he's suggested but yes if he brings someone you do know?

Or just no as your kids have got in first with their request?

Original poster
Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 20:58

If dss wanted his friend to come he should have asked me before my dc came to me. There is not enough for each to have a friend and I think it would be a shame that the two Miss out.

OP posts:
FuckYouDailyMail · 27/02/2017 21:02

Sounds like you've already made your mind up OP so not sure why you are asking here?

GirlElephant · 27/02/2017 21:04

What would you have done had all three asked a month ago to bring a friend?

JustHereForThePooStories · 27/02/2017 21:04

If all three had asked at the same time, how would you have decided?

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 27/02/2017 21:06

You don't sound like a nice person You come across as if you only care about your kids

bigearsthethird · 27/02/2017 21:07

Why isn't there enough room? You said it sleeps 8

SaucyJack · 27/02/2017 21:07

Do you know any of your step son's friends?

Have you been with his father long enough, and do you have enough involvement in his daily life that if he'd said he wanted to bring Tom or Dick instead of Harry then that would have been fine?

If not, then you're just setting him up for a fall- and that would be a weeny bit cunty.

ceeveebee · 27/02/2017 21:08

It's really mean to allow your own two kids to bring a friend but not DSC. won't he feel left out?
Can some of the kids not share?

Original poster
Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 21:11

across as if you only care about your kids

Not true if dss came to me before other two then I would say yes I don't mind the person but I don't know them as well.

My kids came to me days after. It sleeps 8 not has 8 rooms and dd and her boyfriend are sharing as are my son and friend.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 21:11

Sharing singles not doubles.

OP posts:
GirlElephant · 27/02/2017 21:14

When can't DSS also share his room with a friend?

HeddaGarbled · 27/02/2017 21:16

Yes, YABU. And unfair. This is the sort of thing that causes long term resentment and can really damage relationships within the family, both between you and your step son but also between him and your own children and between you and your husband. You really do need to be scrupulously fair in ensuring that your children and step-children are treated equally. Asking one month later than your two and you not knowing the friend are not good enough reasons to say no, they just sound like excuses. What does your H think?

Original poster
Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 21:18

When can't DSS also share his room with a friend?

Because it is a single bed room.

OP posts:
dowhatnow · 27/02/2017 21:20

So two of the kids will have someone and DSS will have to hang out on his own or with you?

Why didn't you think of that before agreeing to the other two? Massively unfair.

user1471548375 · 27/02/2017 21:20

Unless there's something else you're not telling us your behaviour is really fucking unreasonable and cuntish.

MaidOfStars · 27/02/2017 21:22

Ask the owners to sort out a single airbed for the floor. Or carry one over yourself.

I don't think you should play such obvious favourites. It looks awful just written here, let alone experiencing it as your stepchild.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 27/02/2017 21:23

So only your children get to bring some one and DSS just has to suck it up alone. I hope your DH is sticking up for him and pointing out how unfair you are being.

GirlElephant · 27/02/2017 21:24

You still haven't answered what would have happened had all three asked to bring someone? I agree all should be allowed or none.

DoublyTroubly · 27/02/2017 21:26

To be honest, if I was your dss and being treated like this, I would refuse to come altogether. Is that what you're angling for? Are you trying to get dss to drop out?

tigerlilly0404 · 27/02/2017 21:27

How old is DSS? Maybe he didn't feel he could ask you sooner certainly sounds like it the way your coming across, I'd say either they all take a friend or no one does.