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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Villa and rooms

76 replies

Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 20:33

We are going on holiday in august and have booked a large villa in Italy. It sleeps 8 and we have 6 in our family so two spare rooms. So we asked the dc and dsc who are all in sixth form if they have any friends they would like to come and my dd is taking her boyfriend who we know very well and who's family we know and my ds has suggested taking a family friends son who ds is close with and whose parents wouldn't be able to take him away.

Today my dss has asked me if his friend could come and we don't know them and this is a month after my two dc asked about the first two options.

Aibu to tell him no.

OP posts:
NinonDeLanclos · 27/02/2017 21:54

Air bed or camp bed, simple

It depends on the Ts & Cs. The owners may only be insured for 8 people, so unless the info states that it can sleep more on camp bed/ sofa bed etc, they may well not accept more.

HmmOkay · 27/02/2017 21:55

I'm not following the numbers here. So there are six of you in your family?

You and your spouse or partner, your daughter (who is bringing her boyfriend), your 2 kids in 6th form and your DSS?

Is that right? So 3 of your kids and your stepson?

So one of your own kids isn't bringing a friend either?

NinonDeLanclos · 27/02/2017 21:55

Xpost with dowhat

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 21:58

Your dc and dsc are all in sixth form, despite large age differences? Confused

StarryIllusion · 27/02/2017 21:58

Can't you take an air mattress? Seems massively unfair to me. Either they all get the option to take a friend or none of them do.

WankersHacksandThieves · 27/02/2017 22:04

I thought I had it worked out at 2 OPs children in 6th form, 1 DSS and a younger child that is the OPs and his wife's. However on the other thread there are two step children. So, either one of them is younger and hasn't been invited to bring a friend, or one step child is older and isn't coming - now just confused Confused

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/02/2017 22:06

So there's you, your DH, You DD and her bf, your DS and his friend and your DSC. Who is the 8th person you're taking that fills the house?

I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with first come first served, unless there is a history of these things always going to your DS and DD. But if your DSC is going to be the only kid his age without a friend going then I don't think that's a great holiday for him and it would be good to see if you can get the owner to agree to another guest.

Kahlua4me · 27/02/2017 22:09

Seems like there is a dd and ds on both sides of the family.
Eddie's dc have already asked if they can bring someone.
dss has now asked if he can bring a friend but dsd has yet to say if she is bringing anybody.

Seems incredibly unfair though to ask them all if they would like to bring somebody if there were only 2 spare places.....

melj1213 · 27/02/2017 22:09

Wankers from this thread and the OP's other thread I worked it out as 6 in the family: OP, DP, DD, DS, DSD and DSS with all the kids beeing teenagers ... with DDs boyfriend and DS' best friend making up the other two for the 8 places.

Which actually makes it worse than I thought it as there is now 4 teenage children who were all told they had the opportunity to bring a +1 and yet it's only the OP's DC whose guests have been approved to come.

WankersHacksandThieves · 27/02/2017 22:14

that's what I said originally melj (and said about potentially 4 friends) but when I looked at the other thread it confused me more as there seemed to be some reference to a shared child of the new marriage, but maybe not, I'm tired and OP hasn't come back to clarify.

GatoradeMeBitch · 27/02/2017 22:15

Can you just take an air mattress for the other child? If you have four children in all and only space for two guests you shouldn't have said anything really.

How old is your DD, is she in a serious relationship? If her BF will end up in her room every night anyway, it would be a shame to waste the other bed.

Creampastry · 27/02/2017 22:15

How old are your dc and the dss?

sum1killthepawpatrollers · 27/02/2017 22:15

do your kids live with you? from the info on the other thread of yours, you say your the dad so im thinking they possibly dont?
could this be the reason your kids are getting to take friends and not the dsc? sorta trying to include them a bit more kinda thing iyswim?

AyeAmarok · 27/02/2017 22:19

YABU.

As well you know.

It's like step-mother bingo on this thread. Too obvious.

Biscuit
tatty1010 · 27/02/2017 22:22

wankers I got confused and thought the same as you from reading the other thread. I am also tired Grin
OP you are being very unfair, the resentment this could cause between your family is just not worth it

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/02/2017 22:23

I think if they are in the 6th form they are old enough to understand that two spare beds means not all of them are going to be able to bring a friend. It may not have been the best way to do it (perhaps asking if there was anyone they would all like to invite would have made for a better holiday, perhaps not) but it's not inherently unfair.

If there is a DSD as well then trying to finagle an extra bed for DSS seems likely to be mighty unfair on her, she'd be kind of left out of things. Unless you can manage two extra beds...

I think you have to look at all the relationships in the family and work out how hurt people will feel at the different possible ways of doing this and make a decision based on that. If the DSC tend to feel a bit second class with you anyway then just taking your DCs' friends could be a really bad move. But if everything is pretty even then just let them know there will be other opportunities for them some other time.

seven201 · 27/02/2017 22:30

Poor boy. He's going to feel like such a loner as everyone else will naturally hang out with their friend/partner. I think you should ask the villa owner if you can squeeze a blow up bed in somewhere.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 22:34

It's like step-mother bingo on this thread. Too obvious

It's not that obvious since you haven't picked up that OP is not a step mother!

QuitMoaning · 27/02/2017 22:35

Let them all have a friend and you and your OH get a hotel room nearby.

ItWentInMyEye · 27/02/2017 22:36

So unreasonable I cant fathom how you'd ever think this situation was fair?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 27/02/2017 22:39

YABVU .it will cause massive resentment and issues.

I seriously can't believe why you think it's ok.

flummoxedlummox · 27/02/2017 22:41

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork

OP said in her first post my dss has asked me if his friend could come and we don't know them and this is a month after my two dc asked about the first two options.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 22:42

I have no idea why you would be quoting that at me Confused

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/02/2017 22:48

flummoxed, OP points to children and step children in that, but doesn't say they are the mother.

flummoxedlummox · 27/02/2017 22:53

Apologies TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork