Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Villa and rooms

76 replies

Eddie19 · 27/02/2017 20:33

We are going on holiday in august and have booked a large villa in Italy. It sleeps 8 and we have 6 in our family so two spare rooms. So we asked the dc and dsc who are all in sixth form if they have any friends they would like to come and my dd is taking her boyfriend who we know very well and who's family we know and my ds has suggested taking a family friends son who ds is close with and whose parents wouldn't be able to take him away.

Today my dss has asked me if his friend could come and we don't know them and this is a month after my two dc asked about the first two options.

Aibu to tell him no.

OP posts:
EggysMom · 27/02/2017 21:28

So we asked the dc and dsc who are all in sixth form if they have any friends they would like to come

When you asked all of them, did you explain that spaces were limited and that only the first two to make arrangements would be able to come? Think back, if you believe you did say this, was it at the same time (i.e. when DSC where there) or possible afterwards when DSC was not visiting?

Quartz2208 · 27/02/2017 21:30

Is it a maximum of 8. Who is the 6th not taking someone? And the rooms don't add up

Did you say first come first served it does seem very unfair that yours are allowed and he is not

Creampastry · 27/02/2017 21:30

Wow, what a nice step mum you are! How does your dh feel about your behaviour?

melj1213 · 27/02/2017 21:31

YABU - MASSIVELY U

If there is only room for 8 people and there are 6 of you then there was only ever space for two people ... so why the hell would you ask 3 people if they want to invite a +1 knowing full well that there wasn't room for one of them?!

It's unfair of you to ask three people if they want to invite someone and then only allow two of them to bring their +1 on a first come, first served basis if that is not made clear in the first place. It's even more unfair that the people in question are children and it's fucking unbelieveable that the only one not allowed to take someone is your step child.

OneWithTheForce · 27/02/2017 21:31

There'll be a sofa he can sleep on or ask the owner for a camp bed.

khajiit13 · 27/02/2017 21:32

You said it sleeps 8. His friend takes the count to 8 surely? Yes yabu.

citybushisland · 27/02/2017 21:32

Sorry OP, it sounds as though your step child is a second class citizen in your house. He'll be the only one without a friend there, it's a great way to ensure that he loathes you and regards you as a wicked step parent, YABVVU

Crispbutty · 27/02/2017 21:33

Has your ds actually invited his friend yet?

ShaniaTwang · 27/02/2017 21:33
Biscuit
UpYerGansey · 27/02/2017 21:36

You don't sound nice at all, OP.

BriantheWife · 27/02/2017 21:37

I would have thought a teenage boy would be pretty ok with camping on the floor of his friend's room given the chance of a holiday. Take a camping mat or roll up memory foam mattress.

thenightsky · 27/02/2017 21:37

Wow. YABU massively.

WankersHacksandThieves · 27/02/2017 21:40

Okay, let me work this out. There is you and DH plus 4, is that 4 DC, 2 each or 3 of yours and 1 of his? Presuming there are 3 double or twin and two single rooms? So, you and DH in one, DD and BF in another, and DS and friend in third. Then there are two singles? DSS in one and ANother in the other?

Could there potentially have been 4 friends invited?

I agree with PPs, I'd look to see if there is anyway you could squeeze in a camp bed/blow up in DSS's room or bring in a sun lounger and make space.

NinonDeLanclos · 27/02/2017 21:40

OP, it's not clear, did you originally have 6 and with DD's bf and DS's friend that makes 8 so there's no more room?

If so, it's not U to say no to DSS, as you've already invited the others, first come first served etc. Next year he could be the priority.

If you do have room it's VU.

CoolCarrie · 27/02/2017 21:41

Air bed or camp bed, simple. YABU to say no, you have to be fair to everyone in your family. If you want to have a good relationship with stepchildren you need to make a bloody effort.

paxillin · 27/02/2017 21:41

Yes, YABU. Everyone can bring a friend or nobody can.

BriantheWife · 27/02/2017 21:44

CoolCarrie has it. Airbed is the way forward!

mummymummums · 27/02/2017 21:46

I really don't understand why you asked on here. You'd already decided dss can't bring his friend and have just tried to justify it to everyone who thinks (unanimously) that YABU.
I've no doubt the poor lad thought he had time to decide a friend, and that you made sure your dc got in first so you could say no to his requests.
You're vile.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 27/02/2017 21:46

When you asked all of them, did you explain that spaces were limited and that only the first two to make arrangements would be able to come?

This is the question that matters.

tatty1010 · 27/02/2017 21:47

I have just read your other thread and none of this makes sense now Confused

UmmNo · 27/02/2017 21:49

If this is real...

I think YABU. What does your DH say? You really didn't think this through

If your two D.C. have friends to stay then your poor DSS is going to feel a right billy-no-mates.

BTW August is along way a way for teens to be planning things.

tatty1010 · 27/02/2017 21:50

You and your wife have 4 children between you is that right?

Ginosaji · 27/02/2017 21:53

If it was me, as he was the last to ask i would say yes, but only if they agree to top & tail, otherwise, regardless of the order they asked in its still massively unfair on him, and despite what you say he will feel very left out & sad, even if he don't show it

As a pp said, you can arrange to have a meet up with the parents so that both sides know each other, so in short yabu to say no

SheSparkles · 27/02/2017 21:53

Totally unfair, the children should either all be allowed a friend, or no one allowed a friend.

dowhatnow · 27/02/2017 21:54

So one child doesn't want to bring anyone. How old is that one child? Presumably they are younger than the other three sixth formers. What did you say about the two spaces and who could have them?

Many places wouldn't allow extra people for insurance purposes.