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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting to go back to work after baby

60 replies

mum19821985 · 27/02/2017 11:15

Hi, my baby is currently 8 months old and the time to return to work is fast approaching! I am so not ready to go back to work and could easily stay home for longer. It is not financially possible for me to not work and I am not entitled to any tax credits etc. DH wants me to go "on the sick" for a few months to get extra time with DS. I am not comfortable with this but even my line manager hinted that a lot of women do this! Thoughts please? I work part time.

OP posts:
LIZS · 27/02/2017 11:17

Have you accrued paid leave during ml so you could phase your return?

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 27/02/2017 11:19

Can you take your accrued annual leave and bank holidays?
Don't pretend you are sick the nhs is pretty stretched as it is.
Unpaid parental leave?

Derlei · 27/02/2017 11:19

I would never do this. It gives pregnant working mums a bad name, and they will know why you have done it so will affect your reputation.

Find a job that allows you to work part time or flexible hours

puglife15 · 27/02/2017 11:24

No. Just no. Don't do this.

When did you start mat leave?

You have 52 weeks plus accrued holiday plus bank holidays, which is usually another 28 days.

So unless you started your leave really early you've still got 4 months I'd reckon.

You can also take 4 weeks unpaid parental leave.

And use holiday from the coming year to start back on an even more part time basis for a month.

Snowflakes1122 · 27/02/2017 11:26

Can you go back part time? Job share?
Definitely don't go on the sick!

TheSconeOfStone · 27/02/2017 11:27

I have never heard of any mother returning to work doing this. YABU.

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2017 11:30

Definitely don't go off sick when you're not.

Can I encourage you to just try it for a while? Often people feel like this and once they're back at work it's nothing like what they feared or would be. You might find you enjoy your time at work as a break from thinking about nappies etc and enjoy the adult contact.

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2017 11:30

Oh my goodness, "adult contact" sounds a bit dirty. You know what I mean!

RatherBeRiding · 27/02/2017 11:31

And what will you be trying to convince your GP you are "sick" with? Bad idea on so many counts, especially as you are part-time anyway.

Check with annual leave you have, and whether you could take some unpaid leave to stretch out your maternity leave a bit.

Claiming sick pay when you're not sick is taking the piss, regardless of what your line manager might hint, and will not do your reputation any good with your employer or your colleagues.

AllFurCoatNoKnickera · 27/02/2017 11:31

Speak to HR about what you've accrued AL and bank holiday wise. I was due back on 1st Feb after taking a year and used my AL to do a phased return and it really helped doing a few weeks part time ready to go full time in March.

YANBU to dread going back, but YABU to think about getting signed off if you have no intention of going back.

Akire · 27/02/2017 11:33

If you are sick you will need well
Note from the doctor so at very least you will be wasting nhs time if it's "just" visiting GP never mind if you are ill enough be signed off then they will want to do
Other tests or suggest medication depending on what you say is actually wrong with you.

RupertsMum2 · 27/02/2017 11:34

It's rarely easy to go back to after having a baby but "going on the sick" is not really the answer. Maternity leave is really pretty generous these days. When my first two were babies I had to go back when they were 14 weeks. It wasn't easy but we're here to tell the tale. I got 26 weeks with Ds3 and that seemed like a luxury.

Could you go back part time at least at first.

Original poster
mum19821985 · 27/02/2017 11:34

I'm still on SMP and I have holidays to take. I am very uncomfortable with the idea tbh but dh thinks I would be silly not to do it. I'm the type to go into work sick rather than take a day off so I doubt I will do this. Also I don't want to be in this job forever and didn't want this on my permanent record. I'm only part time anyway so it's not so bad 🙂

OP posts:
llhj · 27/02/2017 11:36

What a very strange op. You've the whole thing sewn up after a few comments? Why post?

RupertsMum2 · 27/02/2017 11:38

Why is your dh so keen on the idea? Is it really that he doesn't want to pick up the slack with childcare and housework?

It will be fine.

Akire · 27/02/2017 11:38

What are you going to say is wrong with you? How are you going avoid test and medications?

Newtssuitcase · 27/02/2017 11:40

It is "so bad" its gross misconduct and fraud and you could be sacked and have that in your employment history forever.

Newtssuitcase · 27/02/2017 11:41

I can't actually believe you would be so stupid as to even post that you're considering this (and I'm an employment lawyer and see lots of stupid behaviour from employees).

Heirhelp · 27/02/2017 11:41

No, you can't do this.

You are entitled to a year off. Have you/can you cut back to the bear minimum to be able to afford this? Have you thought about working part time?

Have you already arranged childcare for when you return to work?

BabyHamster · 27/02/2017 11:43

Ummmm no don't do this! Also I've never ever heard of anyone doing this? Is it really that common?

PotteringAlong · 27/02/2017 11:45

What does your DH suggest you become
Sick with to have the time off?

noenergy · 27/02/2017 11:45

I have heard of a few people who have done this and I think pretended to have PND.
Not fair as it's wasting nhs time n resources. I'm sure u could get unpaid leave

Babyroobs · 27/02/2017 12:02

Can't even believe that people think of defrauding their employers like this. Maternity leave is very good in the UK. YABVVU.

Babyroobs · 27/02/2017 12:04

I have many colleugues who take a lot of sick time for different reasons but I have never known anyone pretend to be ill to avoid coming back after mat leave. Shocking.

flowery · 27/02/2017 12:06

I'm intrigued as to what invisible long-term medical condition your DH is recommending you fabricate?

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