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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting to go back to work after baby

60 replies

mum19821985 · 27/02/2017 11:15

Hi, my baby is currently 8 months old and the time to return to work is fast approaching! I am so not ready to go back to work and could easily stay home for longer. It is not financially possible for me to not work and I am not entitled to any tax credits etc. DH wants me to go "on the sick" for a few months to get extra time with DS. I am not comfortable with this but even my line manager hinted that a lot of women do this! Thoughts please? I work part time.

OP posts:
Corabell · 27/02/2017 13:39

I was signed off at the end of my maternity leave because I was really, chronically and miserably ill. It was awful. I felt terrible and worried constantly that people thought I was faking to avoid returning to work. The whole concept of faking illness disgusts me.

SEsofty · 27/02/2017 13:40

So, just saying that the OP does persuade her GP that she is depressed, how far does the fraud go?

Counseling, which could go to someone who is in real need.

Ad prescription etc

MissAdaSmith · 27/02/2017 13:43

haven't RTWT but why doesn't your DH GP in sick leave for a few months and looks after the baby at home. He would be silly not to Confused

MissAdaSmith · 27/02/2017 13:44

DH go on (not GP in)

LeSquigh · 27/02/2017 16:53

I am not of the opinion that maternity leave in the U.K. is good as was said above. I am having to go back to work 6-8 weeks after this (currently pregnant) baby is born because I can't afford to be paid 50% plus SMP. I had a LOT of issues last time and would have legitimately been able to take sick leave but I had a longer maternity leave due to different financial circumstances. However if I have the same this fine I absolutely have no choice other than to go sick due to that being paid 100%!

MissAdaSmith · 27/02/2017 17:01

there aren't many countries that pay 100 (or 90%) for an extended period of time.

TBH, I was so much better off on maternity pay than I was when I returned to work and handed over my entire salary to the nursery.

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/02/2017 17:16

You shouldn't go sick of you're not - it's not fair on your employer or colleagues.

Returning might not be as bad as you think. I was dreading going back to work but had no choice.

I returned full time when my son was 9 months old and although it was hard initially we all adapted very quickly.

He's 3 now and so happy in nursery. I enjoy my job and actually like the adult interaction and using my brain!

If you can't afford to not work then you just adapt because you have to.

pilates · 27/02/2017 17:25

What a dreadful idea from your DH.

" I am not comfortable with this but even my line manager hinted that a lot of women do this!" Really? That is disgraceful.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 27/02/2017 17:57

And this is why employers continue to discriminate against women...

Pippa12 · 27/02/2017 18:31

Dont do it...

Ive just gone back to work after number two, the thought of it is dreadful but the reality is fine. Your going to feel sad if you go now or in three months time and you dont want to bring up your children thinking that 'skyving' work is acceptable. I bet your husband wouldn't do it if he was you!

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