To get annoyed when asked if I am "babysitting"?

[parentnotbabysitter]

When I tell people, mainly women but also men, that I have my DS to look after on my own as my wife is away working... more often than not I get... "ah, you babysitting?" Or "daddy day-care huh!?"

NO... it is called parenting!

I know just as much about my DS as my wife does... in fact, given her work patterns, sometimes in periods of change in his behaviour, I know more.

Annoying as hell!!

Yes I agree, it's not babysitting when it's your own child! I bumped into one of DH's friends when I was on my way to meet friends a while back, and he asks "Is DH babysitting today then?". "Er no, he's looking after his children".

I wish most men thought like this! Often it is men themselves that comment they are 'babysitting' their own child, unfortunately not everyone is as involved as you are, but fair play to you!

Hmm its a funny one because lots of people i know refer to both parents as 'baby sitting' when they have the kids.

Me and dh do. Both will say 'i have plans for x night, you free to sit the kids/ babysit.'

Dh does more childcare or parenting than me as he works from home and i dont. It doesnt bother him.

But if people are genuinely surprised or implying you are a proper parent i can see it would be annoying.

aren't a proper parent

Often men do see it as babysitting that's the problem.

It drives DP up the wall when people ask if he's babysitting. No, he's parenting. The other one which pisses him off is "hands on dad". Nobody has ever referred to me as a "hands on mum", he parents our kids (when he's not at work) as much as I do, so why is he hands on and I'm not?

Yup, that "hands on" thing pisses me off to.

It is so patronising.

The worst is when dads describe themselves as babysitting... how dare you!

My question is why do you think you know more than your wife about your child??

Maybe I am just more interested in him.

Did you share mat/pat leave?

No... but you are right there is no way he has changed in over a year since then...

My dp got the right hump about it when one of his friends said it once. "I'm not a teenage girl. They're MY fucking kids!" Were his somewhat drunken words on the subject but we got the sentiment.

Due to shift DH is SAHP half week- me the other.. Lost count of people who've said to me 'oo aren't you luck he's happy to help out' like you OP this infuriates him (and me) as if he's doing me a favour!!

Shift working I mean!

Agree, it's neither childcare or babysitting just parenting. I hear far more women than men call it childcare and it really grates.

Ha, "happy to help out" that is brilliant! I would have had a field-day with that one!

It would be as fun as seeing a creationist rock up at Richard Dawkins' front door!

And they do it with a fucking head tilt too! Condescending twunts! If he does the supermarket shop on his day it's all aww and well done you... Yep 'happy to help' wtf!!

Shop online... much easier! #bluejob

You sound a bit full of yourself TBH OP

It frustrates me when, if I go away, people are all like "oooh your dh will have a full on weekend" or even worse someone offers to take the dcs for a few hours "for dh".

Yet when dh goes away no one gives a second thought or praises me for having to do it all on my own.

Nap Queen, you absolutely have a point there!

Was just talking to dp about how it winds me up when i go out and people ask if hes babysitting or say "aw isnt he good". Even when i worked nights i got the same comments. It is anoying and also makes it sound like men arent capable of looking after their own children.

Sweat... why do you say that? Your DC's dad not half of Team Parent?

YANBU op. It pissed me off royally. DH does not babysit as that would imply that he is looking after someone else's kids

We do have a couple of friends who use this phrase if the DH is the one staying in while the DW goes out. And my special favorite, a friend who has to get her mother or mil to look after her DS when she is out as her DH won't/can't.

Eminy... or when DH is supposed to be... hands off to mother when they don't have anything else on!