To get annoyed when asked if I am "babysitting"?

[parentnotbabysitter]

When I tell people, mainly women but also men, that I have my DS to look after on my own as my wife is away working... more often than not I get... "ah, you babysitting?" Or "daddy day-care huh!?"

NO... it is called parenting!

I know just as much about my DS as my wife does... in fact, given her work patterns, sometimes in periods of change in his behaviour, I know more.

Annoying as hell!!

Seeing the number of mothers in here that are seriously pissed off at their DH because they are 'babysitting' and not parenting their own child or the number of times they got annoyed because their DH got so much praise after so much as looking after their DC for an hour, I don't think anyone can disagree with you.
It's nice to hear it coming from a father rather than a mother.

I'd like to ask you of you could correct people A LOT for us.
Thanks.

sweatlikepig my sarcasm radar is off... You are being facetious aren't you??

It would be as fun as seeing a creationist rock up at Richard Dawkins' front door!

Haha!! Are you my dh? This thread is totally 'him'

Agree 100% by the way

YABNU!! I hope you tell them straight!

Redandyellow i will do my best... but I am certain it isn't just me. Quite a few of my friends think the same, as does my wife.

That would piss my dh off too, he has spent as much time with our dc as I have.
However, childcare for my own children would piss me of too.
I agree, it's parenting.

Unfortunately it is down to the husband! My stbxh was just like this, he was only doing me a favour if he looked after the kids. I could only arrange to do something when he was free (any clash and his took precedence) he definitely thought of himself as babysitting. Used to make comments about his friends if they chose to spend time with their families at the weekend rather than doing the watching sports and playing golf circuit that he did (apparently they were under the thumb). Also didn't help round the house, at all, didn't look after the kids when I was home because that was my job (even though I also worked) did this by making life so uncomfortable if he was asked to do something that it was easier to do it myself.

YANBU. It gives me the rage. DH and I both work away at times, we share the childcare during school holidays and he drops off for school and I pick up. It irritates us both, I hate all the aren't you so lucky comments and he hates all the oh your babysitting comments. We both chose to have our DC and are parenting them together ffs.

So everyone (nearly everyone...) is with me...

So why does it keep happening... I propose that it is the dad's fault: either conforming to the already established stereotype... or not correcting when this kind of thing is said.

What do we think?

Hmm I was with you until your last post- it's very leading. No I wouldn't say it's the dad's fault. Both men and women are negatively impacted by gender stereotypes which see taking care of the home/kids as being the woman's job. Both sexes have a responsibility to challenge these attitudes

My nan came to stay and marvelled at my husband cooking and loading the dishwasher. She said I was lucky to have a man that did that. She honestly thought I should be grateful that he was equally responsible for the house and kids.

But why do you need to tell people you have to look after your child on your own as your wife is working?

That's what's driving the responses.

If someone said to me when my daughter was younger what I was doing, I would never have stated I need to look after my own child. I'd just say 'husband away so daughter and I shall watch tv or whatever", if I felt the need to share that much,normally though it would just be "quiet night in or quiet night in, husband away" the fact I'm looking after my child went without saying.

It's the fact you feel the need to call it out like it's a an event that's the issue.

Bool that is a little forgivable I suppose, they came from an age where that would be unusual. My wife can't stand cooking... good job I love it... lol

Yes, there's no need to tell anyone really.

Blunt you are reading a little too much into it... wanted to keep it as concise as possible (shame others don't at times).

Sparkling what do I do for a living?

Then how would you know if I needed to tell people or not?

I suppose I'm a SAHD. I never have these kind of conversations! I'd love people to simper over me!

I want to be a SAHD!!

I'd far rather be in work!

#dadswap

How many dad trophies do you want to get OP?

Your initial point made total sense, but now I just get the feeling you want people to praise you for being a dad, which surely is the opposite of the point you were initially trying to make.

No one wins prizes for being a parent, you just get on with it, and you don't constantly go on about how much you do for your own kids.

Ok potato it was a bit of a joke... but way to take the fun out of it. Mission accomplished.