DH Instagram account WTF?

[redwineanytime]

AIBU to take it personally- So here I am three kids later a bit on the chunkier side and it's annoys me so much how my husband follows all these hot fitness models on Instagram. Is that what he finds sexy? Whoops that ain't me.

It's practically naked girls. Did I mention he doesn't instigate anything in the bed department? (That's another thread)
So cross and frustrated.

Before you ask, have spoken to him about this until I'm blue I the face!!!

I would be very upset in your position. What reason does he give for the lack of sex?

Before you ask, have spoken to him about this until I'm blue I the face!!!

What does he say in response?

That's something I'd expect of a teenage boy. How embarrassing of him. Does he know what it makes him look like, does he not care? If you've spoken then he obviously knows how you feel about it and doesn't care? What an arse. Yanbu

Wouldn't really bother me to be honest. I've been known to have a little flick through topless Ryan gosling pictures of an evening. Doesn't mean I don't love my husband, his wobbly bits and all. Sometimes it's just nice to look at something different.

Mid life crisis?

That really is cringeworthy on his part.

So you have spoken to him on numerous occasions. Told him it upsets you, and he doesn't give a fuck?

Add no sex in to the equation, and sorry, but it does sound like the beginning of the end.

Surely not that unusual. Just tell him to be a bit more subtle!

That is really hurtful and totally embarrassing. A grown man with a wife and children? What a twat.

I'm sure OP wouldn't care about the models if her DH was still making her feel wanted and wanted sex with her.

He's a twat that needs to grow the fuck up.
What is his response when you speak to him about lack of sex etc?

Sorry to hear about this! Am in the same boat, wish I could offer some advice, but I'll be lurking for now to see what our fellow MNs say

The Popcorn Police
I'm sure OP wouldn't care about the models if her DH was still making her feel wanted and wanted sex with her.
How can you be sure she wouldnt care? He's a twat and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to feel worried, degraded and humiliated by his behaviour!

If you hadn't said you had three DCs I would say you are my colleague whose DH (also my colleague) is exactly like this. He follows supermodels, porn stars, fitness models (etc) on Instagram and that's not what his wife looks like. I don't know how she feels about this but I can't imagine it makes her feel good (if she knows).

Blimey.

So all he's doing is following some accounts of fitness models? He's not engaging with them or trying to communicate with them in any way?

Why is he a twat just for that? Sorry but that's ridiculous.

2 different issues.

1: why shouldn't a married adult (male or female) not allowed to look at pictures of fitness models/ actors/ singers? When I see the amount of women - married women - who are giggling with a Mark Wright calendar yuk (or firemen calendar). Some posters need to chill out a bit.

2: your intimacy and sexual life with your husband. Sometimes it's hard, life gets in the way, have you tried to book a weekend away for just the 2 of you?

*Blimey.

So all he's doing is following some accounts of fitness models? He's not engaging with them or trying to communicate with them in any way?

Why is he a twat just for that? Sorry but that's ridiculous.*

I somewhat agree but then I think he's a grown man following fitness models and also he's not having sex with his wife so he needs to grow up.

Agree he's not a twat. I missed that comment. That's ridiculous. I do think this is an insensitive thing to do if you know your wife has body insecurities though, which I'm assuming the OP has?

The issue is OP doesn't like it for whatever reason, which she is perfectly entitled to do. She has told her husband and he doesn't give a flying fuck.

He is upsetting her on purpose.

Is that the actions of a loving partner because I don't think it is.

grown man following fitness models

When are you supposed to follow fitness models, when you're a child? And plenty of grown women talk about fancying film stars/male models etc.

I don't understand why it's an issue of growing up when grown women talk about men all the time. There are threads about Tom Hardy on here constantly. How many people's husbands look like Tom Hardy?

Why is it OK for women to swoon over men but not the other way around?

This is a separate issue to the lack of instigation in the bedroom. She didn't say they don't have sex, just that he doesn't instigate it. Maybe he doesn't want to put her under pressure because of how busy life is - we don't know and can't judge it on such limited information anyway.

I don't think the issue is so much him following fitness models on instagram. I follow plenty of fitness accounts of boys and girls as they often have good workout ideas and are a good reminder to pop to the gym.

It sounds to me like you're feeling insecure about your weight and this is made worse by the issues in the bedroom.

I just think it's embarrassing that's all - my BIL does this and doesn't realise that everyone else sees him liking the photos. As another poster said it looks immature and I say the same about the women who post pics of topless men/firemen follow Ryan gosling "porn" etc.

I also don't think that "just looking" isn't harmful. Call me a prude but I don't find analysing and staring at men who are not my partner to be something that is going to benefit our relationship. We do however have an unusual sexual partnership so it might not bother other people

The issue might be that he's wanking to the pictures, that's sure to kill a RL sex life.

After every major breakup, there's always one 40+ man who 'like/comment' comes up, again and again on these types of accounts, it's very sad.

He is making himself look like a twat and it's embarrassing.

Why are you checking who your DH is following?

FWIW plenty of women follow Joe Wicks The Body Coach. Not for his fitness advice either.

I hate stuff like this. Yanbu at all

Yep and if someone's DH told them not to follow certain people on Instagram wouldn't that be deemed to be very controlling.

Imagine the AIBU

My DH has been looking at who I follow on instagram and found out i follow Joe Wicks the body coach as well as some other male fitness gurus. He wants me to unfollow them because he's upset and thinks I fancy them more than him. AIBU to say I'm not going to unfollow them just because he's told me to?