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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this bloke should calm right down

66 replies

Iris65 · 20/02/2017 13:25

Sitting in a coffee shop and its not busy so I can hear what's happening to the poor woman next to me. She has a laptop and is obviously trying to work but is sitting on a bench so anyone can sit next to her. A bloke arrived about 15 minutes ago and has not shut up yet. He is firing one question after another at her and she is answering. Before she's finished answering he's asking another one. They seem to know each other as he is a friend of her dad so I don't think she can tell home to STFU! He is obviosuly enjoying having the attention of a young, attractive woman but my God she has the patience of a saint. I want to tell him to her give her a break but obviosuly won't - she's a grown up after all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 13:28

*home should be him
...... and he's still firing questions. He's now explaining that he won't use dating sites because 'people lie' and I'm thinkong what a relief for the women he'd be interrogating otherwise!
She's now stopped all eye contact and is obviosuly trying to work but he's still going!

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · 20/02/2017 13:28

Just another man who feels entitled to demand the time and attention of a woman and not notice or care whether she wants to give them.

Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 13:29

*obviously I can spell! Just rubbish at typing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 13:31

Exactly power I think women need to practice saying 'I'm busy. Pleas leave me alone' but we'd just get a load of abuse for that too!

OP posts:
ProudBadMum · 20/02/2017 13:33

How do you know he is enjoying the atention of a young attractive woman? How do you know she's bothered?

You don't know them but instantly think bad man and good woman.

powershowerforanhour · 20/02/2017 13:36

If he's still doing it, I double dare you to go and ask him if he would keep on talking at to a man who was obviously busy and didn't want to be interrupted and if not, why not?

ProudBadMum · 20/02/2017 13:37

Ffs she knows him! So of course he is speaking to her

Jesus Christ this website at times is stupid

powershowerforanhour · 20/02/2017 13:38

Yeah maybe his feet are actually shackled to her under the table Proud

ProudBadMum · 20/02/2017 13:39

Or maybe in RL when people know each other they talk and others just accept it instead of making it all about how bad men are?

Do you not speak to people you know in public if they are men?

powershowerforanhour · 20/02/2017 13:40

I think it's the fact that he's still speaking at her that bothers OP.

ProudBadMum · 20/02/2017 13:44

Why does it bother Op that a bloke she doesn't know is talking to a woman she doesn't know?

If it was a bloke doing work and a woman who was a friend his mums sat down and started talking to him, would Op think the woman was just enjoying having the attention of a beautiful young man?

No she wouldn't. But because it's a bloke it's wrong.

icelolly99 · 20/02/2017 13:45

Could you pretend to know her by interrupting his monologue with a 'hi, how are you? Not seen you in ages' type if thing. If she's had enough of this bloke she might take your lifeline and go along with it long enough for him to move on 🙂

Allthewaves · 20/02/2017 13:46

She needs to wear earphones

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/02/2017 13:49

Nooooo, don't interrupt her and pretend you know her! What if she looks at you like the stranger you are and asks "who are you"what do you say thenShock

Stay out of it.

Maverickismywingman · 20/02/2017 13:50

It doesn't matter who is a man or woman, the point is, the man isn't taking the social cue that the lady wants to do work. I wouldn't be surprised if she closes her laptop and goes elsewhere soon ebohhh

ProudBadMum · 20/02/2017 13:50

Yes interupt two people who know each other

That will go down great when she looks at you and they move away

TheViceOfReason · 20/02/2017 13:50

Icelolly99 - are you seriously suggesting the OP should get up and go and interrupt conversation between 2 people who know each other because they THINK that one of the people has had enough?? Confused

You have got to be joking.

Maybe if the guy as being abusive or something, but i'm pretty sure the other person could use their words to terminate the conversation politely "well Jimbo, it was nice catching up but i've got to crack on with some work". Or claim to have a meeting somewhere and leave.

Leggit · 20/02/2017 13:52

Oh what? Why do you care? Why are you trying to make it a sexist issue?

Lots of women can say 'sorry I'm busy' that's more about confidence and personality, not gender.

Equally not all men go on and on, that's sometimes a socially axiety issue.

Nothing sexist here.

BaconMaker · 20/02/2017 13:52

How do you know he is enjoying the atention of a young attractive woman? How do you know she's bothered? Presumably because OP, like most adults, can read body language. If she wanted to talk to him she'd look at him not at her laptop.

You don't know OP yet assume she's sexist and has completely misjudged the situation which you apparently know better about even though you're not there!

Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 13:57

I would think the same thing if the sexes were reversed 😉 I know she's irritated because she's started giving clipped answers, trying to type on her laptop. I know its about her being attractive because he started asking her if she has a boyfriend, what does he do, and then launched into dating sites and his search for a woman!
And yes, I have been on the receiving end of similar behaviour from women who I've had tell I am busy even when I have a pile of marking in front of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 14:00

But it is mainly men I see the behaviour in Grin Anyone who says it isn't should get out more tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iris65 · 20/02/2017 14:04

And she's just remembered a meeting she's got to get to!

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/02/2017 14:06

That's sorted thenSmile.

whattodowiththepoo · 20/02/2017 14:07

"Anyone who says it isn't should get out more tbh."

Coming from someone so invested and knowledgeable about 2 strangers I don't think many people will be taking your advice.

Miserylovescompany2 · 20/02/2017 14:10

Thank The Lord for meetings :)