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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want alcohol every evening?

55 replies

emma2468 · 15/02/2017 18:09

I'd love a glass of presecco or a Bacardi & coke of an evening either with dinner or after the kids are in bed. Hubby is dead against drinking every day and thinks it should only be reserved for Fri/Sat/Sun evenings. A big part of this is due to him loosing his mum to bowel & liver cancer when she was only 60. Her only "bad habit" was a glass or two every evening. If I just say I'm having a drink he kind of makes me feel like an alcoholic! Not that he'd stop me just he'd disapprove and I'm a people pleaser 😄

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/02/2017 18:10

I think he has a point, to have a drink problem it also doesn't need to be getting pissed constantly. Needing a drink every night really isn't good

Merlin40 · 15/02/2017 18:10

I like a wine every night - but usually only one! Recently, since doing dry jan, I've kept it to weekends (until half term...). Ideally I'd keep it just for weekends, but I like it as a treat when work is stressful.

Daytona79 · 15/02/2017 18:11

I would tend to agree with him, I think drinking everyday is excessive but I've only drank maybe 3/4 times in 3 years so maybe not the best to comment

FurryLittleTwerp · 15/02/2017 18:13

We are the other way round in our house!

I'd love to drink every day, but recognise that alcohol is a poison & so keep it for the weekends mostly. Sometimes I'll have wine midweek if I've cooked something especially nice!

I do think it's better for you not to drink every day, even if you are keeping within the recommended and most likely arbitrary limits.

My DH just "doesn't believe" limits & risks & just interprets things in his own way so drinks every single day

PeppaIsMyHero · 15/02/2017 18:13

Apparently it's better for your organs if you have two consecutive days of no alcohol as they need to clean themselves out. We've cut down to w/e only, which is okay (unless it's half term, obvs)...

Spam88 · 15/02/2017 18:14

Yeah I'd agree with him as well (and I am not a light drinker by any means). It's a bad habit to get into. Is it just about having something nice to drink of an evening rather than an alcoholic drink? If so could you try replacing it with something else?

Original poster
emma2468 · 15/02/2017 18:14

Maybe it's just half term but recently I've been craving it nearly every day. Never had this before have always been a bit take it or leave it with alcohol.

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 15/02/2017 18:14

What do you think, OP?

HeadDreamer · 15/02/2017 18:15

He is right. Have a look at this
www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/alcohol-units.aspx

14 units a week. 3 units per large 250ml glass. So you should only have a glass 3-4 nights a week.

HeadDreamer · 15/02/2017 18:15

I mean 4-5 nights a week!

FurryLittleTwerp · 15/02/2017 18:15

Agree, Spam, nice non-alcoholic drinks are the way forward, rather than just water - I have that with lunch! I like lime & soda best.

toffeeboffin · 15/02/2017 18:16

I honestly don't see a problem, as long as it's just one glass.

Two seconds peace in the kitchen with a small glass of vin whilst mumsnetting cooking another bloody dinner is hardly too much to ask.

Crunchyside · 15/02/2017 18:19

I think it's a problem if you would find it really difficult to cut back. If you don't think you've got an alcohol problem, it should be easy enough for you to cut it out at least a couple of days a week - might make your DH feel happier about your 'habit' and it would also prove to yourself that you don't need it.

My DH has a mixed drink every night (a gin and tonic or a martini) as I'm pregnant so there's no point opening a whole bottle of wine, but when I'm not pregnant we do go through stages of having wine with/after dinner most nights. I think it's more of a slightly unhealthful habit than a real 'problem' though - I would say that it's quite similar to the habit of eating crisps/chocolate after the kids are in bed each night.

It's easy to get into these sorts of habits when you have young children as it feels like you're giving yourself a nice treat when they've gone to bed!

Crunchyside · 15/02/2017 18:19

Unhealthy, not unhealthful!

backtowork2015 · 15/02/2017 18:19

I drank every night until I did a sober october last year and realised how much better i felt for it. Just fri/sat nights for me now, I don't like the idea that I felt the need to drink every day, feels like a slippery slope looking back

roarityroar · 15/02/2017 18:19

Every night is really not a good habit.

backtowork2015 · 15/02/2017 18:21

The thread that inspired me to review my drinking is worth looking up. By the op Strongteahotshower, something about throwing up in a potty if I recall.

Juveniledelinquent · 15/02/2017 18:22

We stopped drinking alcohol over a year ago. Previously we'd both enjoyed drinking, DH drank much more than me, but I loved a glass or two of wine in the evening. We stopped for health reasons.

At first we missed it but now we don't miss it. No at all, not ever.

It's weird when your life tends to evolve around alcohol in the evening, you think your life would be rubbish without it but honestly once you stop you don't miss it.

user1486924355 · 15/02/2017 18:25

yanbu

superking · 15/02/2017 18:25

I think every single day is not ideal, it becomes a hard habit to break and very easy for your overall consumption to creep up. Why not try to have two consecutive days off every week. If you're just having a couple of units on the other nights then that sounds ok. If you're drinking more heavily on weekends then I'd try to throw in another one or two nights off.

I usually drink a bottle of wine over Friday and Saturday nights (half a bottle a night). Sunday and Monday usually alcohol free. Glass of wine on Tuesday, nothing on Wednesday, and sometimes a glass on a Thursday, sometimes not.

My consumption is typically over the recommended 14 units a week, but not by too much.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 15/02/2017 18:25

Half of Europe has wine every day and always has done. The idea that it makes you an alcoholic would be bizarre to most people, especially coming out of a country that does have such a problem with binge drinking!

There is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine every day, for sure.

Merlin40 · 15/02/2017 18:27

I drank every night until I did a sober october last year and realised how much better i felt for it.
This is the thing, I felt no better (and lost no weight, although did save money) doing dry January, in fact now when I've only drank at the weekend, I've had a hangover after only a couple of glasses which would never usually happen.

Original poster
emma2468 · 15/02/2017 18:28

I don't drink every evening right now. I'm just sitting here now, knowing half a bottle of presecco is in the fridge cos we had a glass each last night for valentines, thinking about pouring myself a glass but knowing hubby would walk in and disapprove. I feel like I quite fancy a glass most evening but currently I don't.

I think your right tho backtowork it would be a slippery slope. I also come from a family with alcohol dependency problems so I guess I need to be strict with myself.

I'm going to look into non alcoholic treats. Soda & lime sounds good Grin

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/02/2017 18:29

I think the idea that alcohol is a daily ritual and something you "need" to do to unwind is dangerous. I don't think there's anything magic about Friday and Saturday that means you can only drink on those two days but I think it's a bad idea to never give your body a break. Have at least a couple of dry days a week as a minimum.

foxyloxy78 · 15/02/2017 19:10

Craving alcohol is never a good sign. Drinking every day is not a good idea. Your husband is right.

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