Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my kids away from chicken pox party?

245 replies

Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:06

More of a WWYD?

One of my friends is having a kids party tomorrow and both of my children have been invited. I've just found out via Facebook that the birthday girl has got chicken pox in the contagious stage. The mother is not going to postpone the party and it's still going ahead.

Neither of my kids have had it. I wouldn't mind the eldest one catching it as I think she would cope with it but I really don't want my youngest to catch it as she's just getting over a cold, ear and chest infection which has knocked her for 6 and neither of us have had any sleep for the past 5 days!

Shall I just decline the invite or just take them? She's the type of woman who will get funny with me if I decline. I thought about just taking the eldest but if she catches it she will obv pass onto th youngest

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 11:07

Definitely decline. Deliberately trying to give your child chicken pox or infect others is irresponsible to say the least.

Original poster
Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:08

Thanks purple - I thought I was being abit precious!

OP posts:
Chinnygirl · 09/02/2017 11:08

Decline. Her feelings are not your problem.

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 11:09

Is the party host telling people about the chicken pox or did you hear it from someone else? It can be really dangerous for some children.

glitterazi · 09/02/2017 11:10

Bloody idiot. (Your friend, not you.) I've never got the point of so called chicken pox parties.
How could anyone deliberately make their child ill?! Angry
I have a friend who held one of these. I judged harshly from behind my keyboard whilst all the time wanting to tell her not to be so fkn stupid.

xStefx · 09/02/2017 11:10

decline, to be honest I cant believe she hasn't postponed it

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 09/02/2017 11:11

FWIW, I wouldn't be taking DD either.

Yes, most children will get chickenpox at some point, but the whole concept of trying to make your own child (or other people's children) ill on purpose is just horrible to me.

While chickenpox is a mild illness for most it really can be nasty Sad. Why oh why go out of your way to do that to a child (or anyone)?

Dearlittleflo · 09/02/2017 11:11

Definitely don't go. If you want to protect your child against CP in later life, get the jab- don't deliberately infect them. people are such morons.

hearyoume · 09/02/2017 11:11

Why on earth would you deliberately expose your children to disease?? I hate pox parties. I feel bad enough when DC fall ill without knowing I could have prevented it.

Sorry but fuck this woman's feelings!!!!!

glitterazi · 09/02/2017 11:11

She's the type of woman who will get funny with me if I decline.

So let her "get funny" about it! Definitely her problem, not yours. As parent to your children you're completely within your rights not to want to expose them to chickenpox.

tiggytape · 09/02/2017 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 09/02/2017 11:14

I wouldn't take my kids, if they catch it, fine, But I wouldn't do it on purpose. If she's going to be funny with you because you don't want your kids to be really sick then, sorry, she's a twat. Also is she actually telling people about the pox? Or did you just randomly find out?

Twooter · 09/02/2017 11:14

I'm with your friend. I'd far rather get if out the way young. I've had friends kids who have missed holidays and 'fun' weeks at school through getting chicken pox so would far rather they got it out of the way Young at a convenient time for us. However your friend should warn everyone about the chicken pox, although if they're at school together they have probably already been exposed anyway.

glitterazi · 09/02/2017 11:15

The thing is, by the time kids hit full time school, they're usually exposed to it anyway.
My eldest caught it when he was 5 at primary school, which automatically meant the 2 year old got it around the same time.
I just can't understand the mentality of deliberately making your child ill or trying to make others ill too.
Chicken pox can pass problem free, but it can sometimes be nasty or have complications. How would you feel knowing you'd deliberately done that to them?

Wolfiefan · 09/02/2017 11:17

It's not a case of getting a minor illness out of the way when they are young and it's convenient. Confused
It's deliberately exposing your child to an illness that can sometimes have rare and life threatening implications.
Don't go.
I bloody hope this party isn't somewhere public and that all people who are stupid enough to attend are warned about the pox before they attend. Chicken pox can kill immunocompromised people. Angry

glitterazi · 09/02/2017 11:20

Is the party host telling people about the chicken pox or did you hear it from someone else

This! You say you found out from a Facebook post. Had the mum of the birthday girl told you and others that she had chicken pox or was it just sheer good luck that you saw the post on FB alerting you?
If it's the latter, then your friend is disgraceful. That could be really dangerous for some (ie pregnant parents, or anyone with compromised immune systems)

Original poster
Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:21

My eldest and the birthday girl who has CP aren't at school yet. My eldest goes to nursery but they have a strict policy of ensuring kids are symptom free before entering which I suppose is why she has got away with it so far and my youngest isn't at nursery yet.

She has put it on Facebook but I suppose if you aren't on Facebook or friends with her then you wouldn't know! I would have been livid had I of turned up unaware that she had CP

OP posts:
Twooter · 09/02/2017 11:22

I'm assuming the OPs dc aren't immunocompromised. Obviously it would be different if they were. However I would probably feel more guilty if they came out with chickenpox the day before their wedding or halfway through their GSCEs or when pregnant or with a newborn knowing that I had helped postpone them catching it earlier.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/02/2017 11:25

Decline.
That is awful of her.
I hate chicken pox parties. Yes, they all have to get it, but the idea of deliberately exposing your child to an illness which could kill them is absurd.

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 11:25

There's always one. Hmm

twooter it's one thing for children to catch chicken pox naturally. It's quite another to deliberately try to infect them. There's a vaccine now.

MalletsMallets · 09/02/2017 11:25

Stupid woman, it can be really dangerous.
I think its much better to get when they are old enough to take all the medication and understand, some kids can be really ill with it. Thats before you take into consideration anyone with a compromised immune system or pregnancy.

Original poster
Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:28

mallets my eldest would cope. She would take the meds better etc. But I still don't want to deliberately expose her

OP posts:
glitterazi · 09/02/2017 11:28

I'm assuming the OPs dc aren't immunocompromised. Obviously it would be different if they were.

Yes, but how does the party thrower know if everyone else is or isn't? There could be a pregnant mum dropping her child off to the party, or someone who's fighting an illness she knows nothing about.
How could anyone take that risk due to their own wants?

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 09/02/2017 11:30

YANBU, it's absolutely irresponsible of her to do this - I'd be livid if no-one told me and I turned up (I'm pg and DH has never had CP).

We're planning to get DH and the baby vaccinated, it's £150 each for two shots, and when you think of the alternative (sick, miserable kid, time off work) it's 100% worth it. Is vaccination a possibility for your DC?

DebbieDownersgiveitarest · 09/02/2017 11:31

Hi Op, what your friend is doing is awful.

Having held a floppy child in my arms with a temperature racing out of control the likes having had two dc I have never seen and even my usually was under reactionary DH saying " call an ambulance" to hear of such ignorance makes me feel sick.

Could you hold your dc in your arms in such a state and think - I went out of my way to deliberately give my dc this awful infection.

You can simply never tell if your DC will OK I am afraid. Yes most seem to look awful but seem fine in themselves but its a dangerous nasty infection, it creates open wounds on the skin and can lead to numerous other issues. Avoid the party. Smile